User talk:Tattoodwaitress/Joe "Tiger" Patrick II

Initial feedback

Please read all of this at once rather than going through it line-by-line, as some problems can be fixed simultaneously and the pros need to be maintained!

Positives

I'm going to be brief here; since you requested feedback, I'm going to jump into the stuff that needs to be revised, as that's what you want. I will say that I think that it's awesome that you're creating an article, and I'd like to highlight the following points that I think are important:

• This subject does appear to be notable.
• This is backed up by the numerous different references, which you did a great job at - even more sources could be good if you add some of the info outlined, below.
• Good job sectioning - I've seen many articles with way too few sections, and this is not one of them

Things to work on

• Your intro is a bit scattered, and I don't think that leads should have as much future tense material as yours does. I would revise it to give a better background on Patrick's past actions while ending with a line on future plans.
• Military career needs to be expanded, perhaps with decorations, division, etc. Note: removed this section until a later date when it can be expanded
• Walks - more than one line might be nice in the overview. Think of each section as needing a lead into the subsections. Just as every paragraph should have at least three sentences, every section should, otherwise, to me, it isn't really a section (this is not official policy, this is my opinion).
• Both specific walks - make sure to say in the sections that the walks were officially titled what they were, otherwise you may sound too promotional - an encyclopedic tone is essential. You do a good job maintaining this for the most part, though.
• Add an infobox.
• Add a picture of the tapestry along with additional information on it - you have an empty section! besides images I am pretty much with the info here
• Your grammar is imperfect, though not terrible. I love copyediting, so if you want to just finish the article then let me at it, I'll do this myself.

I hope this helped! --Jackson Peebles (talk) 04:31, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

Jackson Peebles Oh that helps a ton!! Thank you and you are more than welcome to help me on this. I think my grammar is a bit off as I am trying a little hard to say everything in a different manner to avoid copyvio's, but I will definitely work on that. Please feel free to make ANY changes where you think it could be made better. To see what you do will teach me as well. I do have about 4 more pages of refs to add (along with more material). I don't have a printer at the moment so I am doing the back and forth tab thing (when i would much rather print out everything and work from that) which is making it a bit harder. Anyway I am rather grateful for the feedback it was way more extensive than I thought it would be. My main goal was to make sure I picked a somewhat notable subject so as not to "waste" time although a moment practicing is never a waste. Oh and thank you for the thank you re: my feedback, you are very welcome. OH and i forgot to sign this AND i wanted to say that I named the sections for the walks just to keep it organized for now. I am not real positive just yet if there are official names for the walks. Still reading and researching although I am exhausted right now and need to give this a break. TattØØdẄaitre§ lĖTŝ tÅLĶ 05:06, 14 July 2013 (UTC)

Info box?

Jackson Peebles I have made quite a few changes so far, what do you think of the new edits? I am also wondering what type of info box should i use? I am going to work on the tapestry section next. I'm not real sure if i can find non copyrighted images that i can use but working on that right now (do you have any suggestion on getting/finding images to use?)TattØØdẄaitre§ lĖTŝ tÅLĶ 00:21, 15 July 2013 (UTC) Besides adding images and the info box i am pretty well done with adding all the info i can for now. I will work on getting images and await another review by you. TattØØdẄaitre§ lĖTŝ tÅLĶ 03:48, 15 July 2013 (UTC)

The infobox you put in looks good; keep trying to see if you can find a picture of him, though! --Jackson Peebles (talk) 02:34, 16 July 2013 (UTC)

Thank you, Jackson Peebles, I think I am about done adding information to this. (i have a few minor details left but still trying to find some reliable sources for that information) Is it possible to "hotlink" images meaning link to images that are not hosted on wikipedia? But not actually put the images on wikipedia? All the images I have ran across I am sure are copyrighted except for one image that I found which is a picture of a picture (of a newspaper article that has a picture in it). I am certain that I can't use that either right? I have gotten some good input about the article from you and cullen and have made some productive changes. What should I do next? Can you go through and deal with the grammar and all that again? I am one of those people who should not have a "comma" button on her keyboard, ha ha, and I took a whole bunch of commas out. I also created some paragraphs for easier reading but if you could check out the whole layout and "go to town" that would be great. Hope you are feeling wonderful today!!! TattØØdẄaitre§ lĖTŝ tÅLĶ 17:02, 17 July 2013 (UTC)

Hi, I am curious about the newspaper article with the picture in it. It may be possible to use that as a reference link to something in your text as a citation and the picture can be seen in the newspaper article. The newspaper would be given credit (you are right - they probably hold the copyright). (Nevermind, I see you already have citations that link to pictures and videos). I definately do not think we hotlink straight to pictures unless they are attached to an outside article. I might just give this a tinge of copyedit while you await your real copyeditor. All the best Fylbecatulous talk 21:36, 17 July 2013 (UTC)

I have given this a run-through. This is such a good article! I added some Wikilinks (I love how many you added) and added back a comma (yes) and tweaked a bit for style. Fylbecatulous talk 22:07, 17 July 2013 (UTC)

It is not possible to link to images that are not hosted on Wikipedia, and it is actually against the "rules" to try to do so. I think that this article is ready for the mainspace. You can always ask for a peer review if you'd like to seek getting it up to GA status. I did some additional copyediting, but Fylbecatulous did a good job of this, before me. I changed your ordered list to an unordered list, which is more appropriate for the content. Regarding the image, I think that this is a good time to use the fair use clause. If an image doesn't exist that isn't copyrighted, use one that is and just be sure that it's used correctly according to fair use. Or you can always e-mail Patrick (seriously) and ask him to release one to the public domain. --Jackson Peebles (talk) 22:37, 17 July 2013 (UTC)

Jackson Peebles and Fylbecatulous I am really so excited about this article and glad that you both think it is ready. I will read up on the image and giving proper credit. I need to understand the fair use concept way better though. As a matter of fact I already had a short note ready to send to Patrick asking for a picture but wasn't sure if I should send it or not so I am glad to know that it is possible. And a big thanks for changing the list because i did not think it looked good at all but had not gotten around to changing it nor which kind of list i should use. Yea I kinda knew the "hotlinking" question was a no go. Thanks again for all the help, suggestions, and advice. TattØØdẄaitre§ lĖTŝ tÅLĶ 06:27, 18 July 2013 (UTC)

Image addition

Regarding images for this article, I have been unable to find copyright free images. I have located a couple of images to add using the fair use clause. I was unable to add these images as this draft article has not completed the review process but will do so as soon as it has passed the test. TattØØdẄaitre§ lĖTŝ tÅLĶ 14:49, 18 July 2013 (UTC)

Please help (Warning after hitting submit for my first article)

I have submitted my first article, YAY! At the bottom of the user page draft is a template and there is a warning that says "Warning: This page should probably be located at Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/Joe "Tiger" Patrick II (move)." Should I do the moving or is that for the admin to do? TattØØdẄaitre§ lĖTŝ tÅLĶ 14:54, 18 July 2013 (UTC)

I have moved it there, and provided a link to this talk page. You should feel free to create articles either at the Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation space or in your sandbox; the review template means it will be seen either way. – GorillaWarfare (talk) 15:03, 18 July 2013 (UTC)

Thank you GorillaWarfare, and I can just continue to edit if I choose correct? For example I just added categories that I forgot to add before submitting. TattØØdẄaitre§ lĖTŝ tÅLĶ