User talk:StevenJ81/sandbox

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Geshem

i started to look over your geshem article. nice. but in the lede, i think you need to keep it general first, and then get into the prayer specific items. Soosim (talk) 06:12, 23 May 2012 (UTC)

Thank you for your response. I left those in the lede because (a) it was that way in the original JE article, and (b) because there isn't all that much there. I think the first and third paragraphs of the lede belong there anyway. The second and fourth could be moved to their own level-2 section, but it would be tiny, and I'm not sure what the point would be. Anyway, I'll think on that one. StevenJ81 (talk) 15:00, 23 May 2012 (UTC)

I think it is a well-written informative article. Perhaps it could also discuss the insertion of "V'ten Tal Umatar Livracha" in the 9th blessing of the Amidah?Ankh.Morpork 10:22, 23 May 2012 (UTC)

Thank you very much. I do have a couple of things to finish up before I publish.

As to "Tal u'Matar," I think I'm going to handle that with an addition to the Amidah article, then link to it. StevenJ81 (talk) 14:55, 23 May 2012 (UTC)

OK. I agree with Soosim that the lede is a little specific and could be reduced to something like, "Tefillat Geshem (Hebrew: תפילת גשם‎, "Prayer about Rain") and Tefillat Tal (תפילת טל, "Prayer about Dew") are piyyutim added to the Jewish liturgy at the beginning and end, respectively, of Israel's rainy season, and herald forthcoming liturgical changes in the Amidah." Also, consider if it might be more helpful if Geshem and its concomitant Amidah changes, and Tal and its changes, are discussed together and not in separate sections, as it is quite a technical topic and clarity should be a priority. Feel free to disagree, I do think its a well-researched article though slightly too homiletic for my liking!Ankh.Morpork 20:26, 24 May 2012 (UTC)

I'll think further on the lede. As to the rain changes, I think you're right. Probably they should all live together in a section of the Amidah article, and should just be referred to here. StevenJ81 (talk) 14:03, 25 May 2012 (UTC)

Yes, nice work. Informative, yet not overly long. Note, no capitals in headers, per wp:mos, e.g. Ashkenazi melody. Debresser (talk) 15:53, 13 June 2012 (UTC)

Didn't know about no capitals. Will fix. What I originally found here was lifted from Jewish Encyclopedia, and I really didn't fix much of that right away. Thanks. StevenJ81 (talk) 19:26, 13 June 2012 (UTC)

Usually, I'm not all that fond of the JE, but this time around the article looks nice and informative. By the way, I have this page watched for the mean time. Debresser (talk) 20:47, 13 June 2012 (UTC)