User talk:Smi02002/Pattrice jones

Latest comment: 2 years ago by Schug068 in topic Peer Review

I like the added citations and information about her philosophy towards religion and her more recent academic impact. My only suggestion is to look more at the wording of the religion paragraph. Does jones claim that religion has no impact on the organization or is that an official tenet? In order to appear more neutral, maybe say that jones has claimed that religion has no impact on her organization? Other than that I really like your changes. Are there any other philosophies of jones you are planning on mentioning, or do you think that would maybe fit better under an article just about the organization?

Peer Review

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First, I really enjoyed seeing the layout of the article and how you sectioned everything off. I would say to go through and make sure all grammar is right, and maybe add more information in the first section about Pattrice Jones. I also think the citation are good for what you are trying to convey in this article. Are you going to add more about about Pattrice and give a little more detail about her, maybe add another sentence to make sure there is balance throughout the article? Schug068 (talk) 01:34, 23 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

Peer Review

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Hi, this is Rachel and I've added a peer review for your sandbox. Let me know if there's any issues accessing the review!