Sivan smart

January 2014

Please do not add promotional material to Wikipedia. While objective prose about beliefs, products or services is acceptable, Wikipedia is not intended to be a vehicle for soapboxing, advertising or promotion. Thank you. Acroterion (talk) 12:47, 28 January 2014 (UTC

Re: January 2014

This is not any more promotional than any other commercial company!

I started to edit all of the trademark clutter and marketing prose out, but the article, as written, was not salvageable. Please use your sandbox to write a neutrally-worded, non-promotional article referenced to neutral third-party references. I think the product is notable and deserves an article, but it should emphatically not be written as a press release or as a marketing essay. In particular, please do not insert trademark registrations all over the article: it's not appropriate here. One only places such marks in on'es own literature to preserve one's rights, and Wikipedia is not acting on behalf of SmartTrike (if you personally represent the company, please see WP:COI for appropriate practices). Please do not use Wikipedia for advertising or marketing. Acroterion (talk) 12:53, 28 January 2014 (UTC)

Please keep the discussion in one place: here is best. Registration marks and trademarks are completely unnecessary in anything other than one's own product literature, they're visually distracting, and they're a red flag that the content was written by someone in the subject's marketing department who's in the habit of inserting them. See Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Trademarks for policy on trademarks. Please see WP:COI for advice on editing with a conflict of interest. If you do work for or represent the company, please take off the marketing hat and put on the encyclopedia hat (and please openly declare your conflict of interest). Marketing prose is not acceptable here, and many marketing professionals have a hard time writing in a neutral tone. Please use objective third party references, and please recognize that you cannot control content on Wikipedia. Please use your sandbox to rewrite the topic in a neutral, referenced tone. I will be happy to review its progress. Acroterion (talk) 13:04, 28 January 2014 (UTC)

Re:

Thank you for the information. The trademarks were only used within the terms of the product and company that have received registered trademark. I can provide numbers if needed and links to UPSTO. In addition I will continue to revise the material and change it in my sandbox. But how can you see it to advise me? I appreciate your experience.

I understand, and thanks for being willing to discuss with me. In general, no newspaper or other independent publication (like Wikipedia) is obligated to use a trade or service mark in a discussion of the product or service, so long as it's clear that it's editorial content and not an appropriation of the term for use by another product or service: the trademark designation is normally reserved for a company's own materials to defend the trademark. I'd suggest that you look through the manual of style (WP:MOS to see how things should be formatted: you need to use more prose and less section hierarchy, you need independent referencing from neutral sources, and you need to cut out intensifiers and peacock terms. Plain and to the point is what's appropriate for an encyclopedia. We're here to document what neutral observers have said, not to promote. Acroterion (talk) 13:23, 28 January 2014 (UTC)

Re: Again

Thank you again. Is it possible for you to review this after I revise it? how can you do it if I write in my sandbox?

I will place it on my watchlist, and you can leave a note on my talkpage when you think you're ready. I'm going to work presently (I'm on the east coast of the US), so I'll be away for a while. Acroterion (talk) 13:34, 28 January 2014 (UTC)

Your recent edits

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Thank you. --SineBot (talk) 13:24, 28 January 2014 (UTC)

Thank you. Sivan smart (talk) 13:28, 28 January 2014 (UTC)

Review

It's much, much better. It still needs good, reliable sourcing to independent publications: newspapers, magazines, independent online media and the like. See WP:V and WP:RS. It relies too much on sourcing to awards, and places too much emphasis on them (a table of awards seems a bit too promotional), and leans too much on Stevanne Auerbach's opinions, though she's a pretty good reference nevertheless. You might also scale back the sectioning and sub-sectioning, and italicizing isn't appropriate unless it's something like a publication name that should normally be italicized. Keep going, good job so far. Acroterion (talk) 17:36, 28 January 2014 (UTC)

Can you Re-Review my work again?

I've added many more external links and references. Thank you Sivan smart (talk) 11:09, 29 January 2014 (UTC)

I think some editors will still see it as promotional and thinly sourced to major publications, but I don't see it as overtly promotional or lacking in an assertion of notability. Acroterion (talk) 04:49, 3 February 2014 (UTC)