Advice on editing edit

I have just looked at the page User:S201645723/sandbox/Reading Is Fundamental Draft, and I thought it might be helpful to tell you some of my thoughts about it. The very first thing that struck me about the draft is that it reads entirely as though it is written to promote its subject, that is to say that it appears to be written from the point of view that "Reading Is Fundamental" is really good, and to encourage readers to have a good opinion of it. I see from your message at Talk:Reading Is Fundamental that you are aware of the need for caution in view of the fact that you are an employee of the organisation, and the fact that you posted that message there makes it clear that you have good intentions, but it can be very difficult for someone involved in an organisation to stand back and see how his or her writing will look from the perspective of an uninvolved outsider, so that an editor in such a situation often writes stuff which comes over to others as promotional, even if he or she sincerely does not intend to do so. (That is, in fact, one of the main reasons why Wikipedia's guideline on conflict of interest discourages one from editing about a subject to which one has a close personal connection.)

I do not think that advising editors on how to improve drafts that see promotional is something that I am very good at, but I would certainly say that the "Mission and Vision", which does nothing other than tell us what the organisation would like us to believe of it, is unambiguously promotional; putting the self-promotional content in quotes does not detract from that fact. The rest of the draft also has a promotional feeling about it, but it is an overall impression, rather than a matter of specific details which can easily be singled out for mention. You may be able to get help from one or more other editors who have more skill in offering advice in situations like this than I have. There are various ways of asking for such help, but a fairly easy way, which you may like to try, is to post again on the article's talk page, but this time include {{helpme}} in your message. That will post a notice to the page, but also, and more importantly, it will add a link to the page to a list of pages where editors are asking for help, and sooner or later some editor who checks that list will come along and offer an answer. Also, mention the sandbox draft you have written, and include the link [[User:S201645723/sandbox/Reading Is Fundamental Draft]], so that any editor who is willing to do so can find the way to your draft. One other small point. Whenever you post to any sort of talk page or discussion page, finish your message with four tildes (i.e. ~~~~). That will be automatically replaced by a signature, which will not only show who posted the message, but also provide a link to your talk page, which may be helpful to other editors who wish to contact you. The editor who uses the pseudonym "JamesBWatson" (talk) 20:31, 4 April 2017 (UTC)Reply

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