User talk:Runhan Hou/Shenyang Conservatory of Music
Preliminary Review from Kaylea
editHi, I'm starting to walk through articles and give everyone informal early feedback on how they're doing. You'll notice this is a little bit form-letter-ish but I hope it is still helpful.
My general take right now is that you're making good progress on this article, so please keep working. Be sure to incorporate feedback from the peer review. You might find it helpful to apply the peer review guide to your own article as you think about where to go next.
You may notice that a logo or other image was removed from your article -- this is due to a copyright violation. If you look in your history you'll see that another Wikipedian caught the problem and fixed it for you. Some images are only allowed to exist once on Wikipedia -- in the main article for the topic -- and can't be in your sandbox. Don't worry, we'll add it back when we help you make your changes live.
Another area to improve as you revise is maintaining a "Neutral Point of View" about this topic. You'll find more ideas in this Wikipedia policy: WP:NPOV. The language sounds a little too much like an advertisement and not enough of an independent article. Part of the trouble is that you're pulling quite a bit of information from a single source, and the organization's own website is in the business of making it sound good. There's more detail about this issue in this policy: WP:OWNSITE -- the site has a conflict of interest when it speaks about itself. Adding more sources that are independent of the subject will help.
feedback on progress
editHi @Runhan Hou:
It looks like you went live without waiting for approval. One thing I noticed that went missing from your article is the logo in the infobox, you'll see it at the top of the old version. It was removed from your sandbox because it was a copyright violation to have two copies on Wikipedia -- with images that are not freely licensed, we are limited to only one use, in the main article. You can put the logo back in the live article (just not in the sandbox). Also, you'll see you got some feedback from Wikipedians about your article -- asking for copyediting, and removing the list of tuition cost.
If you check out some examples of strong articles about music schools --
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_Conservatory_at_Berklee https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juilliard_School
-- you'll see that they don't include tuition cost as part of the encylopedic details. But you may see some examples there of additional details you could add. Housing information could go in a Student Life section; there's not much in the student life section for Berklee, but https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Washington#Student_life has lots of things in it.
Keep working, you are making progress.