User talk:Rosalina523/sandbox

feedback

Hi again @Rosalina523: what you have in the sandbox will definitely be an improvement to the existing article! Here are some small details that I noticed:

• MOS calls for logical quotation (MOS:LQ), so your ending punctuation should generally be outside your quotation marks, with limited exceptions. This applies to the final sentence of your lead. This is something I have trouble remembering myself :(
• try not to have separate links directly next to each other. "Winchester, Randolph County, Indiana" could be "Winchester, a town in Randolph County, Indiana", for example (MOS:SOB)
  • again applies with "Indiana governor Oliver P. Morton's"
• link milliner and consider an in-text explanation. This isn't a very common word, so readers might not grasp the meaning
• The career section does not have any citations
  • I see now that the first paragraph of career is more of a summary of the subsequent subsections. I don't believe this is the convention for biographies? You've probably written more biographies than I have, so I could be mistaken.
• Way began her reform work an activist in the local temperance movement, probably due to her Quaker belief in abolishing drunkenness watch out for original research! If a source doesn't say it, you should ditch the "probably due to..." phrase, as this comes across as editorializing
• "After a brief residence in Idaho, a state where women had the right to vote, she spent her final years in California" why is it relevant in this sentence that Idaho had women's suffrage already? You could elaborate on if and how this mattered to or affected Way. Is that why she moved to California, for example?
  • I'm also a little confused with the structure of this sentence and the ones that follow. It's said she lived in Idaho, but then moved to California. However, all the remaining sentences appear to be about her time in Idaho. If this is the case, this could be reorganized somewhat chronologically. For ex., "she lived in Idaho where she did x, y, and z. Then, in 1xxx, she moved to California.
• Because Way was a modest woman who did not seek notoriety for herself, comes across as OR. Who described her as a modest woman? It would be great if you had it in quotes from a cited source!

Let me know if you have questions about any of the feedback! Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 05:35, 19 February 2019 (UTC)

Feedback part 2

Hi Rosalina523--it's nice to see this article grown beyond a paragraph. I have a few notes for you to consider:

• Ashley also attended the. seems like the last half of this sentence is missing.
• capitalize this sentence in 1958, after her marriage to Beckwith ended in divorce, Dickerson moved to Alaska
• I'm not sure that the last paragraph of early life and education belongs there--maybe you could make a personal life section and include her marriages and children there. That would cause some finagling with surnames in the rest of the article, though.
• I like the structure; I think there's a clear organization
• References are good
• No editorializing or other words to watch; NPOV throughout

Great job overall. This will be a good addition to the mainspace article! Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:48, 19 March 2019 (UTC)