User talk:Nickf510/sandbox
Lead: I thought your lead was concise and informative, and I appreciated the background information on the language's status.
Phonology: Vowel, consonant, syllabic structure, and stress sections were all completed. I thought your stress section especially was very well-explained and clearly laid out, and maybe you could model your section on syllable structure on this section, as I felt it was perhaps the only section which lacked some clarity.
Morphology: I felt the morphology section began a little abruptly, and could perhaps have been accompanied by a mini-lead at the beginning, to better contextualize what kind of language Warrongo is. I also was a little confused by some of the more jargony words in this section. Your explanations of compounding and reduplication were extremely thorough and clear.
Syntax: I thought your section on syntax could be expanded upon a little, perhaps by providing more examples of both headedness and word orders, but I thought it was clear and well explained and laid out.
Overall: Overall, the flow of information in this draft is very clear. I know that more examples will come with the second and final drafts, and I think that the inclusion of such will help with some of the areas that need to be fleshed out a little more.
Sdeneher (talk) 20:28, 13 April 2019 (UTC)sdeneher
LEAD
• so, the section titled "The Language of Warrongo" doesn't actually need to be set off separately! just take off the title and move it above the table of contents so that it can function as your page's lead
• the info included here gives a good introduction to the language. good job!
• maybe add a few words explaining what's entailed by Warrongo being classified as "dormant" (or link to a Wikipedia page explaining dormant languages)
• a tinyyy wording suggestion: maybe change "even though there were attempts" to just "despite attempts"
• overall this section looks good!
PHONOLOGY
• vowel and consonant subsections are clear & concise
• I like that you included some additional info in the consonant section (like on Warrongo's minimal use of /h/ in interjections)
• good job on the syllable structure section! the tables look great. there is one thing I'm confused about though: for the suffix table, how are "CVCV" "CVCVC" and "CCCVCV" each only 1 syllable long? it seems like each of them would contain 2 syllables (for example, /mali/ seems like it'd be divided into ma & li [or possibly mal & i]). so it's possible those should be deleted from the table..? disclaimer— it's also very possible that my understanding of how syllable structure works is wrong haha. if your grammar explains why those templates count as single syllables then ofc just ignore my suggestion!
• jsyk the last row of the suffix table is missing a slash mark after "/lnbuɽu"
• stress section looks great! I would just standardize the language & format you use when introducing the Warrongo examples. also, maybe move the note about stress never falling on an enclitic/suffix to being before you switch from discussing general stress to specifically stress shifts
MORPHOLOGY
• this section looks great to me!
• good job including all that info on case! I wonder if you should maybe add links to Wikipedia pages that explain what those cases mean/do?
• I'd move the "These noun declensions..." paragraph to coming before the "An example of the different..." line. so that you're first explaining noun declensions fully and then providing the table illustrating them
• ^ similarly, for the affixation section, I'd move the example to the end (after the "Inflectional suffixes..." sentence) for clarity
• reduplication is very clear and organized! • compounding is explained clearly as well. I think you could get rid of some slight redundancy, though, with how you present the examples after the explanation. Like, I think after you say "Generally the meaning of a compound can be deduced from the two roots," you can just go straight to the example by writing "as in the example below." (then put the /bama-goman/ example right there) And then you could say, "That said, there are other cases in which" and then use the other half of your original sentence "the meaning of a word completely changes when used in compounds" (..."as can be seen below." [then put your other example]).
• altogether v good job on morphology
SYNTAX
• the intro in your syntax section is great!
• I like that in your first syntax example you lined up the "OSV(O)" heading with the glossing below. I think it'd be helpful if the heading on the second example was like that too
• another tiny suggestion! I don't think you need the "e.g.1" and "e.g.2" labels before two the word order examples; I think as long as there's a space between the two examples then readers will understand what they are. (and that way it might visually look a bit clearer)
• "compliment" should be "complement" (I mix this up all the time myself so nw!)
• maybe add a statistic (if your grammar gives one?) to the "SOV is the most common" sentence, like saying what % of sentences in Warrongo use SOV
• typo — "an examples" in the 2nd paragraph under Headedness
OVERALL EVALUATION
• one awesome thing throughout your page is that you included a ton of good examples! relating to those, I think something that'd help your article is adding more consistency in how the examples are given (like, more consistent formatting & language)
• you did a great job adding extra info to all the sections. so I feel like most of the information you need on Warrongo is already on your page, but it's mostly just a question of getting everything a bit more organized. I think making some small changes to the ordering of information within each subsection could go a long way in adding clarity. (and cutting out redundancies wherever possible!)
• altogether there really are only minor changes that need to be made. this draft looks very good, & you'll easily be able to fix those details and end up with an awesome final draft. great work!!