Welcome edit

Hello, Mmcrumpton and welcome to Wikipedia! It appears you are participating in a class project. If you haven't done so already, we encourage you to go through our training for students. Go through our online training for students

If you need help, check out Wikipedia:Questions, ask me on my talk page, or ask your question on this page and then place {{Help me}} before the question. Please also read this helpful advice for students.

Before you create an article, make sure you understand what kind of articles are accepted here. Remember: Wikipedia is an encyclopedia, and while many topics are encyclopedic, some things are not.

Your instructor or professor may wish to set up a course page, and if your class doesn't already have one please tell your instructor about that. It is highly recommended that you place this text: {{Educational assignment}} on the talk page of any articles you are working on as part of your Wikipedia-related course assignment. This will let other editors know this article is a subject of an educational assignment and aid your communication with them.

We hope you like it here and encourage you to stay even after your assignment is finished! Dr Aaij (talk) 13:22, 31 May 2019 (UTC)Reply

Welcome! edit

Hello, Mmcrumpton, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.

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  • You can find answers to many student questions on our Q&A site, ask.wikiedu.org

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:05, 4 June 2019 (UTC)Reply

User:Dr Aaij/add citation diff edit

What you added was this, where you incorrectly put your user name in article space. Now, you may have wanted to add this as a diff--but that is a link to the company website which, as we discussed in class a few times including this morning, is not an acceptable source, since it is not independent of the subject. Besides, an encyclopedia shouldn't give day-to-day updates on rides in amusements parks... Dr Aaij (talk) 02:19, 25 June 2019 (UTC)Reply

White Egrets moved to draftspace edit

An article you recently created, White Egrets, does not have enough sources and citations as written to remain published. It needs more citations from reliable, independent sources. (?) Information that can't be referenced should be removed (verifiability is of central importance on Wikipedia). I've moved your draft to draftspace (with a prefix of "Draft:" before the article title) where you can incubate the article with minimal disruption. When you feel the article meets Wikipedia's general notability guideline and thus is ready for mainspace, please click on the "Submit your draft for review!" button at the top of the page. Masum Reza📞 00:05, 27 June 2019 (UTC)Reply

Proposed deletion of Gregory Calhoun (Greg Calhoun) edit

 

The article Gregory Calhoun (Greg Calhoun) has been proposed for deletion because it appears to have no references. Under Wikipedia policy, this biography of a living person will be deleted after seven days unless it has at least one reference to a reliable source that directly supports material in the article.

If you created the article, please don't be offended. Instead, consider improving the article. For help on inserting references, see Referencing for beginners, or ask at the help desk. Once you have provided at least one reliable source, you may remove the {{prod blp/dated}} tag. Please do not remove the tag unless the article is sourced. If you cannot provide such a source within seven days, the article may be deleted, but you can request that it be undeleted when you are ready to add one. CAPTAIN RAJU(T) 06:18, 15 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

Gregory Calhoun (Greg Calhoun) moved to draftspace edit

An article you recently created, Gregory Calhoun (Greg Calhoun), does not have enough sources and citations as written to remain published. It needs more citations from reliable, independent sources. (?) Information that can't be referenced should be removed (verifiability is of central importance on Wikipedia). I've moved your draft to draftspace (with a prefix of "Draft:" before the article title) where you can incubate the article with minimal disruption. When you feel the article meets Wikipedia's general notability guideline and thus is ready for mainspace, please click on the "Submit your draft for review!" button at the top of the page. Barkeep49 (talk) 15:34, 15 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

Page deletion edit

I took a look at the material and concur with this - the content needs sourcing to back up claims. (Dr Aaij) The article is also not neutrally written, as it's written in a positive, praising tone about Calhoun. To be honest, it reads very much like a press release for Calhoun.

I have some notes for you about the page:

  • Avoid using Calhoun's first name in the article - this is seen as very informal and Wikipedia's typical guideline is to use their last name unless the person is widely known under their first or a single name akin to Madonna or Dr. Phil. The only other time we'd use someone's first name is if there are multiple people with the same last name. For example, when referring to Calhoun's father we would use his first name whereas we would use the last name to refer to Greg Calhoun.
  • Do not use phrases such as "million dollar smile" or anything that could be seen as editorializing or a personal opinion. Anything like this would need to be added as an attributed quote.
  • You want to generally avoid slang on Wikipedia, as not every reader will be familiar with the terms. It's not uncommon for Wikipedia to have readers that are unfamiliar with the slang, especially if they are not native English speakers. Slang also has an issue of coming across as too casual or unencyclopedic.
  • When it comes to things like first, type this out instead of using shortened versions like "1st".
  • Writing should be more straightforward. While papers and newspaper articles can take a more roundabout stance to writing and focus a bit more on entertaining the reader, Wikipedia doesn't do this. So for example, instead of writing
"Gregory ventured out to the retail industry at the age of 14 and started bagging groceries at the neighborhood market, Daylight Grocery Store. Like millions of American Teenagers who get part-time jobs to earn spending money, Gregory Calhoun figured his fortune lay in bagging groceries and meeting each customer with his million dollar smile Gregory mind wasn't only on making sure he didn't put the eggs at the bottom of the grocery sack. He was also trying to figure out how he could one day own the store."
You would instead write this:
Calhoun began working as a bagger at his local grocery store, Daylight Grocery Store, when he was fourteen years old. While working there he expressed his intent to one day own the store.
This gets the same point across and is more direct. The writing doesn't have to be absolutely bare bones but it's important to make sure to avoid making things too much like an essay or newspaper article. I'll do a brief outline on the draft to give you an idea of how it should be laid out.
  • As stated above, all of the content needs to be backed up with reliable sources that explicitly back up the claims in the article. This is something that is needed not only to back up claims but to also establish notability.
  • This has some grammatical and capitalization errors, so you need to make sure to be careful to avoid these.

I hope that this doesn't dishearten you - it can honestly take a while to get used to Wikipedia's writing style at first. I know you can do it, though! :) Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:49, 15 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

Copyright/plagiarism edit

While trying to give the example re-write I discovered that you copied much of the article from a 1993 article by Ebony. This is seen as a copyright issue and plagiarism, even if you were to have included this source as a citation. Always be careful when writing article content - a good way to avoid doing this is to take notes while reading and write your article from those notes.

Unless the material is explicitly marked as falling into the public domain or was released under a compatible Creative Commons license, it should be assumed that the content is copyrighted in a way that would prohibit it from being used verbatim elsewhere. It's always best to write things in your own words, as this can help prevent issues like this from arising. I would like for you to review the module on plagiarism and copyright. Also, as this was a copyright and plagiarism issue, I had to delete both the draft and my re-write, since the re-write included prose that was likely taken from the Ebony piece. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:21, 15 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

  • It looks like you also copied from Goodreads when creating Draft:White Egrets. I've removed the copied material. I need to really emphasize that it's important to write things in your own words. If you need help you can absolutely reach out to either myself or your professor, Dr Aaij. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:24, 15 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • Hi Shalor (Wiki Ed), I see that someone called User:ReaderofthePack has, in the meantime, deleted the draft (I know it's you, haha). I didn't get back to the Education Wiki until this morning, sorry. Mmcrumpton, Shalor is absolutely correct in everything she says, and you recall that I narrowly prevented you a few weeks ago from violating copyright and plagiarizing, when you had a bunch of copied text ready to upload. You MUST follow the module Shalor pointed at: this is serious business, not just for Wikipedia but for college studies in general. Dr Aaij (talk) 15:03, 17 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • If you need help with creating the White Egrets article I am definitely willing to help you - book and literature articles are some of the most common types of articles I create with my main account, so I know most of the ins and outs. This brochure should also be helpful. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:14, 17 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

Your draft article, Draft:White Egrets edit

 

Hello, Mmcrumpton. It has been over six months since you last edited the Articles for Creation submission or Draft page you started, "White Egrets".

In accordance with our policy that Wikipedia is not for the indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia mainspace, the draft has been nominated for deletion. If you plan on working on it further, or editing it to address the issues raised if it was declined, simply edit the submission and remove the {{db-afc}}, {{db-draft}}, or {{db-g13}} code.

If your submission has already been deleted by the time you get there, and you wish to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion by following the instructions at this link. An administrator will, in most cases, restore the submission so you can continue to work on it.

Thank you for your submission to Wikipedia! Lapablo (talk) 22:39, 19 January 2020 (UTC)Reply