User talk:Mj.tolboom/sandbox
Peer Review - Maya Krishna-Rogers for Social Innovation's Role in Curbing Corruption
editStrengths The article is organized in a way that is clear and easy to follow. My only concern is how this section will fit into the original article without seeming out of place or random. I would probably put it after the local and regional development section, but even so, this would probably require a more thorough introduction/lead in from the previous section. The source material is strong, and the citation style + hyperlinks to other wikipedia articles works well and provides good background and clarification. The topic is also very interesting, particularly the women and corruption subsection. If this section can be expanded, it would provide a very refreshing viewpoint. The social media aspect is also very interesting, and given how social media has continued to evolve, is becoming increasingly relevant. If there are more examples of social media as an anti-corruption mechanism, I think the article would benefit from including them simply because of how relevant they are to today's world.
Changes to Make "Another poll suggested that electing women into power in countries heavily affected by corruption should be strongly accompanied by an affiliation to a mobilized grassroots women's group as 83% of female respondents gave preferences to organized women's leadership to pursue anti-corruption policies." This sentence in the women section does not make sense.
The Government action section should be expanded. Perhaps you could incorporate multiple examples rather than only relying on the UK example.
In the Indonesia example, you could link directly to the 'corruption in indonesia' wikipedia article.
I also notice that the Panama Papers are given a separate section. However, you are discussing them in relation to data-mining as a broader concept, so it may make sense to incorporate it into the data-mining section as an example rather than creating such a brief subsection. Or, if you want to keep it as a separate section, it may help to include a bit of background information about the Panama Papers so that readers do not necessarily have to refer to the original article if they do not know what the investigation was about.
I would include a more thorough explanation of why/how mobile banking can be used to fight corruption. Even though it may seem to be explaining the obvious, there is a wide variety of readers who use wikipedia, so it may benefit some readers to explain why cash transactions provide more opportunities for corrupt behaviour.
Other comments The bibliography is, as you said, incomplete. I am very interested in the topic, and think you've done a very thorough job of creating additional information for the page. It could be interesting to try and include a 'limitations' section, in which you talk about how these social innovations that can help corruption may be limited in scope or ability. Or, if there is not enough information on this topic to create a whole section for it, you could incorporate limitations within the other sections that you have already created when possible. I think this would offer a nuanced perspective of social innovation's potential without making it seem as if social innovations hold all of the answers to corruption. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Krmaya (talk • contribs) 00:22, 26 March 2018 (UTC)
Peer Review by Magdalena Morales
editI am really interested in the topic of social innovation and corruption. I thought that the subsection of "Grassroots Involvement" was very well-explained. In your fourth paragraph, however, it would be good to mention what association you're talking about. Is it the "Agenda Pública"? I also absolutely loved the section on "Women and Corruption". I think it is relevant to approach corruption through the gender viewpoint, which is an approach that we have not really studied in class. It is not the first time I see studies mentioning that anti-corruption policies led by women are preferred and I think Wikipedia needs more of this. I feel that if this section could be expanded even more, there would be a lot of interest. Perhaps it would also be interesting to mention how women respond differently to social initiatives on corruption across different countries, as being a woman differs from place to place in terms of insecurity and acquired rights.
Another thing I really like about your article is how you provide concrete examples with each claim you make. In the "Private Sector" section, the Malawi example is really relevant. I would suggest expanding on the literature mentioned at the beginning of this section and cite some specific authors in order to give more legitimacy to the "literature on corruption" wording. In that same line of thought, the "Governmental Action" section should be more more developed. The sentence "In the United Kingdom, social innovation will be used to mobilise social actors and entrepreneurs against corruption" is very broad and requires some further explanation.
Again, I liked your "Open Data" section. It is interesting to see the intersection of technology and social innovation to fight corruption. When you mention the study by Transparency International, it would be relevant for the results of the study to be mentioned. What was the actual effect of the principles on their fights against corruption? Then, when you mention the Indonesia example, maybe it would be interesting to have an equivalency of what IDR 31,077 trillion are in terms of dollars, so that the English-speaking reader can relate.
I really think that the strength of your article are all of the examples you give. They help the reader understand the impacts that social innovation can have on corruption and how it is currently being fought. Of course, the bibliography still hasn't been completed, but this is something you've mentioned you'll improve later. You touch on different aspects of social innovation by talking about mobile banking, open data, private and more. I think it would be interesting to expand on the social media aspect of it, especially because we've talked a lot about it in class, but overall I really liked your work. When looking at your sources, I see some typos in the newspapers' names (such as "the Guardian"), but the sources you have seem reliable and most are peer-reviewed.
MagdalenaMorales (talk) 20:28, 25 March 2018 (UTC)
Manuel Balan Review
editOverall, this is shaping up nicely. I agree with Maya's comments regarding the need to think about the fit within the overall article (and the need for a good lead paragraph). You also may want to think about the order in which the different sections proceed. Sources need quite a bit of work, both in terms of formatting as well as in terms of depth. More sources are needed, especially academic ones. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Manuelbalan (talk • contribs) 14:37, 26 March 2018 (UTC)
past homework
editTopic Proposals Choice #1 - Social Innovation / Social Entrepreneurship and Corruption Options available / Already Existing Pages Is creating one from scratch a potential possibility? otherwise options =
There is no page on that topic however these pages: Social innovation, Social entrepreneurship, Corruption do not approach the idea of corruption being tackled through social innovation and social entrepreneurship actions.
There is also a particular company that called Crowdpac that deals with crowdfunding and transparency in US elections that has a fairly incomplete page. However because it is a private company, I am not sure if i can use their wikipedia page to argue more deeply about how social innovation and its effects on corruption (the scope seems too small).
Another option could be to include a new section " grassroots and corruption" to the page Grassroots.
However, I am aware that the potential implications of the article would be to talk a lot about the rise of private company/initiatives that are fighting corruption, is the subject theoretical enough?
Talk pages and Areas to improve The various talk pages don't really help me in that situation, neither is areas to improve, as the topic i am interested in does not already exist
Sources and Potential Articles (still need to figure out how to use the citation feature properly)
"Social entrepreneurs against corruption". https://www.transparency.org/news/feature/social_entrepreneurs_against_corruption
Liedong, Tahiru Azaaviele, "Combating Corruption in Africa through Institutional Entrepreneurship: Peering in from Business-government Relations". http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/23322373.2017.1379825?src=recsys&journalCode=rajm20
Those sources demonstrate that there is a real trend towards empowering civil society/grassroots NGOs in developing and developed countries to fight corruption through innovation and social entrepreneurship actions. It comes from Government, International Organizations and also bottom-up processes across the whole globe so processus is very messy and broad.
=> should i choose a smaller scope either geographically, or only using private initiative?
Choice #2 - Corruption in Iraq Talk pages and areas to improve Talk page is empty, overall page is useless because of very little information and no structure, also no historical account
It would be interesting to maybe focus on the part of the American invasion of Iraq and the State-building reconstruction time frame (while still giving general background of corruption in Iraq)
It seems like an interesting issue because now that ISIS is almost irrelevant in Iraq = corruption is the new thing to tackle ??
Sources and Potential Articles The sources on the current page are all Transparency International, it needs variety! There is a LOT of journalistic information about it
ex of sources: https://www.reuters.com/article/us-mideast-crisis-iraq-corruption/iraqs-anti-corruption-czar-the-job-so-tough-they-wont-let-you-quit-idUSKBN1751VV (reuters), https://www.business-anti-corruption.com/country-profiles/iraq, http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13533310802058851 (Peacebuilding and post-conflict corruption)
Choice #3 - Environmental crime Options available / Already Existing Pages The goal would be to explore and explain the the effect of corruption on the environment whether through direct or indirect links. Maybe put a section impact of corruption on the environment as that relates to a crime on the environment (links to regulatory captures) or maybe I should add a section to the page Corruption "impact of the corruption on the environment"
Talk pages and areas to improve Talk page does not tackle any problem but the page is fairly incomplete. I think that adding a section corruption could be an interesting addition especially because there is literature about it
Sources and Potential Articles http://pdf.usaid.gov/pdf_docs/Pnact876.pdf (Usaid)
Article Evaluation This is an evaluation of the article 2017 Saudi Arabian purge, a part of WikiProject Business, WikiProject Crime, WikiProject Politics and WikiProject Saudi Arabia (rated C-class importance).
Relevance of Article Content to Topic I found that everything was pretty relevant towards the topic, especially since the article provides concise and limited content .
Neutrality and Bias This article is interesting because it relates to the Saudi Arabian line of succession, and even on a broader scope to the place of Saudi Arabia in the region of the Middle East (especially looking towards their conflict with Iran and the Lebanese PM Hariri scandal ), making it susceptible towards bias.
The article advances pretty objective points but the lack of clarity and of content could be argued to be biased as readers do not get an accurate picture of the situation, especially because there is barely any mention of the current Saudi Arabian successions issues and of its position for the current international landscape (where does MBS fits) as this issue has been commented by world leaders such as the United States or the French President.
Another issue could be the fact that the title lacks neutrality because it is an alleged political purge. The title leads the reader to believe, as it is supported in the content section that the corruption scandal was a cover up for a much larger political scheme. I would maybe rename it "2017 Saudi Arabian Corruption Probe"
A last issue that I noticed was the section "extremism" which is under allegations, leading to think that some of the arrests were also perpetrated due to opposition to religious extremism which once again strays from an objective point of view.
The reactions sections needs to be updated because it lacks objectivity.
Suggestions on Possible New Sections As noticed before, it would be interesting to broaden the scope of the article by adding a larger background on MBS and on the succession of Saudi Arabian politics, maybe by adding a short background section. I would complete the allegations sections with broader corruption issues in the countries: response towards deadly flood and MERS ?
I would also change the title "list of involved people" to "targeted groups and individuals" and add then a subsection on religious leaders and move the extremism excerpt there. It could be interesting to add other comments on businessmen, politicians, and princes, especially then to support the claim previously written in the content section that the corruption crackdown was a cover up.
Citations
Most of the citations links that i tried work and led to an independent source. However, because most were journalistic sources, it is important to pay caution as articles can get quickly biased especially when originating from countries that have distinctive stances towards Saudi Arabia.
source 1: Danielle Pletka (8 November 2017),"http://www.newsweek.com/what-just-happened-saudi-arabia-weekend-purge-explained-705617"American Enterprise Institute, Newsweek, retrieved 10 November 2017 (This source supports the claim that there are three alternate theories for the motives behind the purge) source 2: "The Saudi purge will spook global investors and unsettle oil markets". The Economist. 9 November 2017. Retrieved 11 November 2017 (This source supports the claim that the Saudi government is targeting cash and assets worth up to $800 billion) Talk Page Talk page is fairly complete and interesting as there is a debate about the neutrality of sources and of the title.
There is also comments about the importance of a page existing for this topic
"The event is highly notable, while keeping it at the MbS article is problematic since various aspects will stray away from his personal biography" Wnt (talk) 23:28, 6 November 2017 (UTC) Relations to INTD 497 This article is interesting because it links to a topic where corruption could be use to advance even bigger political corruption, which is ironic. Wikipedia brushes off on the issues of corruption and focuses rather on the country's internal political issues.