User talk:Michelleakinw2/sandbox
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Michelleakinw2
- Are there side effects of the cosmetic surgery to fix appearance?
- Is buried penis another name for webbed penis? You refer to it as buried penis in the diagnosis.
- You did not finish your last sentence in the prognosis section.
- this was addressed! :)
--Michelleakinw2 (talk) 22:36, 18 November 2020 (UTC)
- I like how you gave an article to read for research that is occurring instead of just talking about the research.
Desireeaustin (talk) 03:24, 16 November 2020 (UTC)
- In the prevention/treatment section, you mainly talk about how it can be prevented. Try to talk more about what you can do to fix it if it does occur. What kind of surgeries take place and how many on average if there is multiple?
- No, it actually states about surgeries that can be used for treatment! :)
--Michelleakinw2 (talk) 05:08, 26 November 2020 (UTC)
- Try to see if you can find how many times this disease has been documented to give the reader an idea of how rare it is. Where and when was it first discovered?
- sadly there are no statistics on that, refer to epidemiology section.
--Michelleakinw2 (talk) 13:25, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
- Try to include some more varied pics to give the reader a better idea of the disease
- Per Dr. Weiner, we are supposed to use pictures available on wikimedia, and seeing that is a graphic photo of a private part, there is little to none available.
--Michelleakinw2 (talk) 22:38, 18 November 2020 (UTC)
- I like how even though there is no info availible about prognosis or epidemiology, you still included the sections and stated there is not enough info out there. I think that shows that you are confident and know exactly what you are talking about.
- Overall, great and easy to comprehend read. Good Job!
Shahaan Arshad Shahaan96 (talk) 03:05, 18 November 2020 (UTC)
- Would you be able provide additional pictures? Maybe a diagram of the circumcision process.
- The first sentence under diagnosis could be rephrased.
- Would you be able to find specific cases of this condition?
- Your page provided a lot of detail and didn't use a lot of medical jargon, which makes it very easy to read.
Hannaniakollor (talk) 19:27, 18 November 2020 (UTC)
- Abstract should not have a header. It should sit at the top on its own.
- that was always included, but edited now!
--Michelleakinw2 (talk) 01:34, 26 November 2020 (UTC)
- All sections need thorough, in-text citations.
- Link any term that is important or uncommon to its own wikipedia article the first time it shows up.
- First sentence of cause is confusing.
- The start of your mechanism section sounds like you're focusing on circumcision complications. Connect to your topic, and leave off the other complications.
- What about mechanisms that don't relate to circumcision?
- Use less technical wording whenever possible.
- Prognosis: but what is the success of repairs?
- there is clearly some epidemiology data that you can discuss here.
- There are lots of sources on this, so you should be able to include at least 3 recent sources. You do not need to go back to 2010. Stick to the past 5 years.