User talk:Kittencrew/sandbox
Dylan's comments
editThis article is at a bare bones state, having barely enough information to even make it an article. I would recommend that it has a larger introduction section, in which [it] talks about different places a book can be banned, who is able to ban books, and introduces some of the controversy about banning books. Next I would recommend that ["the" instead of "that"] addition of a history section outlining the origins of book banning in the United States and some of the thoughts about it throughout history. Next I would remove the section that discusses titles of banned books, but provides no other details. This section, would never be adequate or would be entirely too long. Lastly I would beef up the list of books that were challenged and some of the history behind those cases. I like the idea and perhaps focusing on the top ten banned books of all times might be a help to provide a good overview without diving into all books that were ever challenged. Also it is important to discuss why some of the books listed under the cases section were banned.
The Catcher Censorship case
The Catcher in the Rye is [was] the most challenged and censored book in schools and libraries in the United States between 1961 and 1982.[1] According to the American Library Association, the book would return to the top ten most challenged books from 1990-1999, in 2005, and in 2009.[2][3] The first case of censorship the book ever witnessed was in 1960 when it was ban in a Tulsa, Oklahoma school district and the eleventh grade teacher who had assigned it was fired.[4] Vulgar language, sexual references, encouragement of rebellion, anti-white, defamatory to minorities, God, women, and the disabled, dealing with the occult, promotion of drinking, lying, smoking, and promiscuity, undermining of family values and moral codes, and blasphemy are the most cited reasons the novel is challenged.[5] On August 30th, 1989 in Boron CA, there was just such [delete "just such"] a debate over the novel. Parents upset with their freshman children being exposed to the language and suggestive themes in the novel complained to the school that the book has no place in the curriculum. Vickie Swindler, one of the parents who expressed her discontent over the school’s usage of the book, cited her daughter reading passages to her friends that contained language she did not tolerate [I don't think you need this sentence. This example doesn't really provide the reader with any useful information].[6] Along a similar vein [,] other parents argued that the author’s characters and message are not a good role model for the age group. The school board eventually voted on the matter of whether or not to ban the book from the high schools in the county and [run-on sentence start new sentence here] in a four to one vote ruled in favor of a ban.[7] In response and in defense of the Catcher in the Rye Shelley Keller-Gage, the teacher who had originally assigned the novel, said that, “These people are being just like Holden, the ones who are trying to censor the book, they are trying to be the catchers in the rye”.[really good quote here][8] This case is just one of a great number spanning across the country for numerous different reasons. The Catcher in the Rye however as often as it is challenged, remains a bestselling book in the United States, even in 1981 when it is both the most challenged book as well as the most taught book in American schools.[9]
Banned Book Week
Usually taking place during the last week of September [,] Banned Books Week is the product of a national alliance between various organizations who strive to bring awareness to banned books.[10] Originally founded by first amendment and library activist Judy Krug and the Association of American Publishers in 1982 with the goal of bringing banned books “to the attention of the American public" [clean up this sentence a bit it sounds incomplete].[11][12] The coalition that now sponsors the week each year consists of American Library Association (ALA), the American Booksellers Association, American Booksellers foundation for Free Expression (ABFFE), Association of American Publishers, American Society of Journalists and Authors, and has support from the Center for the Book in the Library of Congress. Now the goal of Banned Book Week is not only [to] invite students and other readers to look at censored or challenged books, but also advocates for literary freedom in schools, libraries, and all places involving books. Its most current goal is “to teach the importance of our first Amendment rights and the power of literature, and to draw attention to the danger that exists when restraints are imposed availability of information in a free society".[13] In recent years banned book week has expanded from just books to addressing the filtering all [delete "all"] any academic material by schools. This includes software that removes services such as YouTube, social media, and games. The American Association of School Librarians stance on all filtering is that it is important for students to go past “the requirements set for by the Federal Communications Commission in its Child Internet Protection Act”.[14]
However, while the week is [delete is] generally receives a positive reception [,] that does not mean it is criticism free. Tom Minnery, vice president of Focus on the Family, claims that “the ALA has irresponsibly perpetrated the ‘banned’ books lie for too long” and that “nothing is ‘banned’“ and Ruth Graham from Slate agrees [Clean up this sentence].[15][16] She thinks that celebrating book banning week conflates issues of book censorship in a public library versus a school library were actual cases of censorship are rather minimal.[17] Groups who generally challenge numerous books, such as Focus on the Family, often stand opposed to Banned Book Week, but that doesn’t mean everyone is. Maddie Crum, a writer for the Huffington Post, argues in defense of the week, stating that the week helps to keep us aware of the fact that Americans’ right of free expression is often limited and in many cases not easily won.[18]
Very good job at showing both sides of the argument. Good use of quotations as well. Watch out for run-on sentences and unnecessary examples. Also there are certain sentences that, if worded more clearly, would portray this controversy even better. I think we're definitely on the same page as to what needs to be corrected. -Dylan
Lilia's comments
editThis article is at a bare bones state, having barely enough information to even make it an article. I would recommend that it has a larger introduction section, in which talks about different places a book can be banned, who is able to ban books, and introduces some of the controversy about banning books. Next I would recommend that addition of a history section outlining the origins of book banning in the United States and some of the thoughts about it throughout history. Next I would remove the section that discusses titles of banned books, but provides no other details. This section, would never be adequate or would be entirely too long. Lastly I would beef up the list of books that were challenged and some of the history behind those cases. I like the idea and perhaps focusing on the top ten banned books of all times might be a help to provide a good overview without diving into all books that were ever challenged. Also it is important to discuss why some of the books listed under the cases section were banned.
The Catcher Censorship case
The Catcher in the Rye is [was] the most challenged and censored book in schools and libraries in the United States between 1961 and 1982.[1] According to the American Library Association, the book would return [returned]to the top ten most challenged books from 1990-1999, in 2005, and in 2009.[2][3] The first case of censorship the book ever witnessed was in 1960 when it was ban in a Tulsa, Oklahoma [,] school district and the eleventh grade teacher who had assigned it was fired.[4] Vulgar language, sexual references, encouragement of rebellion, anti-white, defamatory to minorities, God, women, and [take out 'and'] the disabled, dealing with the occult, promotion of drinking, lying, smoking, and promiscuity, undermining of family values and moral codes, and blasphemy are the most cited reasons the novel is [was] challenged.[5] On August 30th, 1989 in Boron CA, there was just such [take out just such if the debate didn't include all of the issues listed in last sentence] a debate over the novel. Parents [,]upset with their freshman children being exposed to the language and suggestive themes in the novel[,] complained to the school that the book has [had] no place in the curriculum. Vickie Swindler, one of the parents who expressed her discontent over the school’s usage of the book, cited her daughter reading passages to her friends that contained language she did not tolerate.[6] Along a similar vein[,] other parents argued that the author’s characters and message are not a good role model [role model doesn't really fit here] for the age group. The school board eventually voted on the matter of whether or not to ban the book from the high schools in the county[,] and in a four to one vote ruled in favor of a ban.[7] In response and in defense of the Catcher in the Rye[,] Shelley Keller-Gage, the teacher who had originally assigned the novel, said that, “These people are being just like Holden, the ones who are trying to censor the book, they are trying to be the catchers in the rye”.[8] This case is just one of a great number spanning across the country for numerous different reasons [maybe move the sentence saying all the reasons it would be removed to here]. The Catcher in the Rye however as often as it is challenged, remains a bestselling book in the United States, even in 1981 when it is both the most challenged book as well as the most taught book in American schools [a confusing sentence. are the verbs all in the right tense?].[9]
Banned Book Week
Usually taking place during the last week of September[,] Banned Books Week is the product of a national alliance between various organizations who strive to bring awareness to banned books.[10] ['it was']Originally founded by first amendment and library activist Judy Krug and the Association of American Publishers in 1982 with the goal of bringing banned books “to the attention of the American public".[11][12] The coalition that now sponsors the week each year consists of American Library Association (ALA), the American Booksellers Association, American Booksellers foundation for Free Expression (ABFFE), Association of American Publishers, American Society of Journalists and Authors, and has support from the Center for the Book in the Library of Congress. Now the goal of Banned Book Week is not only [to] invite students and other readers to look at censored or challenged books, but also advocates for literary freedom in schools, libraries, and all places involving books. Its most current goal is “to teach the importance of our first Amendment rights and the power of literature, and to draw attention to the danger that exists when restraints are imposed availability of information in a free society".[13] In recent years[,] banned book week [is it capitalized?] has expanded from just [raising awareness to the censoring of]books to addressing the filtering [of] all any academic material by schools. This includes software that removes services such as YouTube, social media, and games. The American Association of School Librarians stance on all filtering is that it is important for students to go past “the requirements set for by the Federal Communications Commission in its Child Internet Protection Act”.[14]
However, while the week is [take out 'is']generally receives a positive reception [maybe reword this last part of the sentence] that does not mean it is criticism free. Tom Minnery, vice president of Focus on the Family, claims that “the ALA has irresponsibly perpetrated the ‘banned’ books lie for too long” and that “nothing is ‘banned’“ and Ruth Graham from Slate agrees [a bit of a run-on, but Ruth in next sentence].[15][16] She thinks that celebrating book banning week conflates issues of book censorship in a public library versus a school library[, where] were actual cases of censorship are rather minimal.[17] Groups who generally challenge numerous books, such as Focus on the Family, often stand opposed to Banned Book Week, but that doesn’t mean everyone is this is a lot like the first sentence, maybe you can present this information in a different way]. Maddie Crum, a writer for the Huffington Post, argues in defense of the week, stating that the week helps to keep us aware of the fact that Americans’ right of free expression is often limited and in many cases not easily won.[18]
[This is great writing and provides a neutral view, especially in the last paragraph where you were able to show both sides with a lot of signal phrases and quotes. There were a few commas I think belong where I put them, and your verb tenses got mixed up a few times. Some of your sentences were a bit confusing as well, but overall, great job.] — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lhd31 (talk • contribs) 17:00, 25 November 2016 (UTC)