User talk:Khefferon/sandbox

Feedback

Hi Khefferon, I've made some formatting adjustments to the content in your sandbox. Here are some points for you to think about further:

• "Three noteworthy examples of live, attenuated vaccines are..." can you be more specific about why you included these three vaccines? "Noteworthy" is considered a vague word on Wikipedia. Are these considered by experts to be the most famous live attenuated vaccines?
• Everything before the table of contents is considered the "lead". The lead shouldn't have any content that isn't also present in the body of the article--think of it like an abstract. In the lead you talk about the polio and measles vaccines, yet in the history section only Pasteur's work is covered.
• I think we touched on this last week in class, but you'll want to make sure you correct your references. Right now only the very first reference is formatted correctly. There is a difference on Wikipedia between a superscript^[1] and a reference. All your inline citations should be blue hyperlinks, but right now they are mostly just superscripts.

References

• Wikipedia articles should avoid the use of 2nd person perspective ("you", "your", "our")--"...live vaccines can give you a lifetime of protection..." perhaps "a person" or "an individual" would work here instead.
• For your subsection "new developments", it's better to avoid references to relative time. So instead of "new" developments, you might have "Developments since 1960" or something like that.

That should give you enough to go off of for now, but let me know if you have questions or would like more feedback once you've started making changes! Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:57, 6 January 2020 (UTC)