User talk:KJarvis.2/sandbox

Latest comment: 5 years ago by KJarvis.2 in topic Thanks

Addison's Peer Review edit

Lead Section: I would rewrite the first sentence as it is confusing. Maybe something along the lines of: "Maximal Partial ovoid's size is...". Your next two sentences are good. Overall, I would add more detail to this. (i.e. you define sharp but not not sharp) I also would talk briefly about inductive bounds in the Lead if you are going to have a subsection on it.

Structure: In terms of structure make sure you write in paragraph form, not just bullet points. I would also increase the amount of transitions to clarify how your ideas relate to one another. I would also add more detail on where these numbers you are writing about are coming from. Another suggestion I have would be to add a history section providing a brief detail of the background of the topic.

Balanced coverage: You seemed to talk a lot about Polar spaces but not that much about Partial ovoids. I would try and add more detail and information to the Partial Ovoid section, especially since it seems to be the focus of the article. Everything else does a decent job connecting, just clarify these connections. Overall the article does a good job of trying to present all relevant points of view and does not represent one as better than the other.

Neutral content: The article does an excellent job of remaining neutral in presenting the information. Ideas are talked about in an unbiased manner and ideas are not presented as "positive" or "negative" but rather as facts. No idea is valued more than another. Well done.

Reliable sources: There is a significant lack of sources and a lack of citing. Almost all facts are left without citation and there is only one referenced study. The one reference is a form of accredited research which is a good start. I recommend increasing the amount of sources but more importantly, citing all ideas that are not original so as to avoid plagiarism.

A-carter.2 (talk) 22:04, 13 December 2018 (UTC)Reply

Thanks edit

Thank you Addison for your helpful review. I hope I have improved since the peer edit. — Preceding unsigned comment added by KJarvis.2 (talkcontribs) 03:55, 14 December 2018 (UTC)Reply