User talk:Jvanegas10/sandbox
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Sweiner02
- I think you should make the introduction section more captivating. Also, if you could elaborate the signs and symptoms section and discuss more about each symptom.
- Use more sources to find relevant information and make each section a little longer.
- In the Causes section, you mention that it can co-exit with lupus, pernicious anemia can you say how so?
- In the genetics section, I think you should add a hyperlink on APS.
- Overall, you have done a great job of laying out the wiki page. It is easy to read and understand!
--Jounjian (talk) 03:32, 17 November 2020 (UTC)
- Hi,I would suggest explaining if there is any variation in the sign or symptoms for Autoimmune oophoritis. And if there is, giving a small explaination. This can be included in your quick summary before the bullet points in the signs and symptoms.
- I would suggest under cause to research if there are any enviornmental causes?
- Under MechanimsPathophysiology adding a picture of "inflmmatory infiltrate" or linking it is also an option
- Under Diagnosis: explaining the specific anti-ovarian antibodies that cause infertility can help to also add more information.You can even include a pelvic ultrasound image!
- For treatment: I suggest explaning the risk factors of some of the therapies mentioned!
- Overall, I found the disease very interesting. I have never heard of it before so this is actually helpful! I think it will turn out amazing! The wording is very easy to understand and readable to different audiances.
--Mdiana294 (talk) 06:23, 19 November 2020 (UTC)--Mdiana294 (talk) 06:23, 19 November 2020 (UTC)--Mdiana294 (talk) 06:23, 19 November 2020 (UTC)
For the pelvic ultrasound image comment, I could not insert one because none were available on wikimedia commons. Jvanegas10 (talk) Jvanegas10 (talk)Jocelin Vanegas
- Hi. You did a great job breaking down the signs and symptoms of this disease.
- One thing you should look into is only using photos from wikimedia commons.
- I think you should go into more depth with the mutations that you listed. It would be really helpful getting more information about each of them.
- For the mechanism I suggest not saying that there isn't one. Rather you should say that there should be more research done in order to uncover the mechanism for this disease
- Overall this is a very strong start
Bobby896 (talk) 19:35, 19 November 2020 (UTC)
- Hey, your wiki page looks great! Very informative and an interesting topic!
- There is a small spelling error under prevention/treatment section on the second line. "Women with this disease will need a lot OF emotional.."
- I would discuss some of the findings of your research a little bit further, particularly the 2011 research caught my attention as something seemed to work as a cure. The 2014 research may also give some ideas of how potentially the mechanism would work.
- In your mechanism section I would mention "research has shown that XYZ could be a potential mechanism" but also mention how more research must be done to verify results.
- The genetic mutation portion I found very interesting. If you added some more information on the mutation, and the potential for how it can be passed down genetically I think it would be a strong point in your article. Overall great work!
--Awarsi77 (talk) 23:04, 19 November 2020 (UTC) Awarsi77 (talk) 23:04, 19 November 2020 (UTC)
- You have causality backwards on ovarian insufficiency in your abstract.
- All sections need thorough, in-text citations.
- There is definitely information on the mechanism. This is an autoimmune disease! You talk about the antibodies in the next section! How does it happen?
- Check for grammar, spelling and clarity. There are a number of small errors.
- Prognosis should talk about effects beyond this, and what happens with treatment.
- Research could use more information on what was actually found in these articles. Don't talk for too long, but do tell us the key findings.