User talk:Jinnhee/sandbox

Latest comment: 7 years ago by J.J.Angulo in topic Peer Review

Jinhee Huh https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jinnhee/sandbox -I really like how you give the brief outline at the beginning but it might help to include a lead with a little more clarity on what you are adding to this article.

-It seems like you found very solid sources that were all reliable but you might benefit from a few more just so you have a bigger information pool and wider variety of sources.

- Structure is great!

- Great job staying neutral, there were a couple of close calls like saying a law "improved" their constitution but over all it did not seem biased. (Also, the example I gave may be fine for you to say.)

- A few grammatical errors but I'm not sure how to point those out via talk page.

-overall, good job! I had no idea about any of this information so it's really cool to read and learn about it!

Just skimming through your sandbox, I see you have a lot of citations, which is good. I also liked the outline in the beginning. You also had a really good neutral tone throughout your paragraphs. I think you did a great job overall.

--Emgamez20 (talk) 03:46, 1 April 2017 (UTC)Reply

Peer Review

edit

This page on Filipino feminism is well constructed in the beginning with the outline. However, the page needs an introduction to give your reader a glimpse into what they are ready about. An good example to look at is the Wikipedia page on Indian Feminism. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism_in_India) The page gives a good description on what the page will be focusing on. Another important thing to use your in paper is opening sentence and ending sentences that open and close whatever you are talking about. Also it allows for the page to flow better when there is a clear ending and beginning. Lastly add more details about Filipino feminism through out your paper, especially at the end. The neutral tone that your paper had was excellent and the grammar was perfect.J.J.Angulo (talk) 16:42, 4 April 2017 (UTC)J.J. AnguloReply