User talk:Iloveolivine!/sandbox

Feedback on your suggested page edits for The Noxal Oil field, referencing the draft on your sandbox:

-this seems like an opinion, so I'd remove it: "The United States relies mainly on Mexico for their supply of oil."

-I'd remove the last part of this sentence, since it's implied: "This new oil field will also be able to provide more jobs for Mexicans and that is beneficial to their economy"

-remove this extra 'and': "It is a little over half a mile underwater and and..."

-this is picky of me, but I would change it so 'finding' and 'found' aren't both used in the same sentence: "This finding is important because it shows there can be oil found underneath the bedrock."

-I would combine this into one sentence. Starting a sentence with "Hence," just feels wrong to me: "...caused by a comet dating back to the Mesozoic era, that created sedimentary layers at the surface. Hence, the Noxal Oil Field..."

Groovy work.

Psybeam (talk) 01:58, 1 May 2017 (UTC)

Peer review

Your draft doesn't seem to have any factual information, but rather it seems more of what YOU think the benefits are. Your information would be more liable if you can back it up with several sources (which you are also missing). Overall, this sounds like an opinion. If you are having trouble looking for benefits then perhaps you can change your topic and search for things like "negative and positive of Noxal Oil Field". Lastly, you can use our school's library databases: Ebisco & Proquest (for relating articles).

Overall, just try to make your information liable. If you say this, then if so, how? KawaiiKoreaboo (talk) 07:56, 1 May 2017 (UTC)

Thanks for your review, if you scroll down the links for my two sources are posted. I found actuals facts on the school's databases that I posted above. The benefits were clearly listed in the articles I chose. Sara916 (talk) 04:49, 10 May 2017 (UTC)