User talk:HA18C/sandbox

Latest comment: 6 years ago by JoshJ2018 in topic Peer Review (Josh)

This article is structured really well and developed to a point that is almost publishable.

Major points: Some things I noticed while parsing through the article that some of the word usage seemed like something that came from a persuasive essay/5 paragraph essay: phrases such as "simply,..." "in totality,..." and "in essence,..." are not necessary when writing an objective article.

I would spend my time really making sure that there doesn't need to be a transition clause (expressed above) when moving from point to point. I would also maintain a consistent tense (is this being studied now- or is the theory of fecundy selection from the past.

Minor Points: I think those are the biggest things- with the standard attention to grammar, and citing that picture in the bottom. If this selection is observable in nature, i think it might be worthwhile to include an example (for a better picture)

Peer Reviews - joe

edit

  • I would suggest placing the “Other types of selection” in the bottom of the page, since it moves the topic away from fecundity selection onto other types of selection
  • “In fact, increase in female size may influence the level of polyandry, which further increasing fecundity as polyandrous females have higher lifetime fecundity in comparison to monandrous females.” This is in the “Body Size and Sexual Size Dimorphism” section, and Polyandry isn’t discussed earlier in this article and doesn’t lead to another definition – what is it?
  • I noticed that many times throughout the article, “fecundity” was referred to rather than “fecundity selection.” They seem to be very strongly related terms, and I also noticed that the page for “fecundity” is pretty bare-bones. Why not develop that original article with your information rather than spreading the info over several pages?

Grammatical Issues:

  • “…is that large female size coincides with a larger abdomen can accomodate more…” This is in the first paragraph, but isn’t grammatically correct.
  • “Therefore, it is predicted that areas with severe nest predation may need to select for multiple nests of smaller clutches with shorter development times.” This is in the “Differences in nest predation” section, and the highlighted word is my suggestion.
  • “Further, given that predation is thought to intensify towards the tropics, the observation that females tend to produce multiple smaller clutches in these environments as a consequential response to intense nest predation” This is in the “Differences in nest predation” section, but isn’t a full sentence.
  • “There is a tendency for the selective demands that underly underlie macroecological fecundity gradients to be broken down into food seasonality…” This is in the “The ‘bet-hedging strategy’ hypothesis” section, and highlighted is my suggestion.
  • “Thus, when food seasonality is scary scarce, LBS is long…” This is in the “The ‘bet-hedging strategy’ hypothesis” section, and highlighted is my suggestion.
  • “It is known that such bet-hedging prediction is not supported one fish species…” This is in the “The ‘bet-hedging strategy’ hypothesis” section, and isn’t grammatically correct.
  • “In fact, increase in female size may influence the level of polyandry, which further increasing fecundity as polyandrous females have higher lifetime fecundity in comparison to monandrous females.” This is in the “Body Size and Sexual Size Dimorphism” section, and I think it isn’t grammatically correct.

Side Note: There is no page on "fecundity" or "fecundity selection" on encyclopedia britannica. Subscript text

Peer Review (Josh)

edit
  • I like how thorough this review is! Touches on a wide variety of topics relating to fecundity selection, much more detailed than the original article
  • Mention that fecundity selection is a type of sexual selection (if that's true, I'm not sure). Right now it's somewhat ambiguous.
  • I think the Moreau-Lack's rule needs more contextualization. The transition from the previous section is somewhat abrupt. The other sections also transition quite abruptly
  • Good variety of citations distributed throughout the article
  • A quote from someone (maybe Darwin?) describing fecundity selection might be an interesting addition to the article
  • Could use a history section on the development of the theory behind fecundity selection, if there's enough material to do so. Could help with contextualization.

Minor things:

  • Could use some more links to other wikipedia articles (for example, link to the page fitness (biology))

JoshJ2018 (talk) 20:09, 7 April 2018 (UTC)Reply