User talk:Grayrado/sandbox
Hi Gray, I think this looks like a good preliminary translation. Once you revise your work based on the peer review, you should concentrate on how to integrate this content into the existing English article, as we'll discuss in next week's workshop. Bradhoot (talk) 20:59, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
Hola Gray! Pienso que su traslación es muy bueno! Tu haces un trabajo bueno de seperando las información en maneras que no están completamente desconectado, entonces su pieza es fluido! Aquí están mi pensamientos:
- Hay mucha información aqui y es todo bueno, pero la estructura de su oraciones a tiempos es muy largo. Entonces, es difícil a entender todo sobre tu punto con el exceso de palabras. Pienso que estaría bueno a acortar algunas oraciones! - Estaria interesante a explicar los tres subgroups linguisticos mencionado en la sección primera con un poco palabras. - Yo se que no es una cosa necesitado a el momento, pero yo pienso que los graphicos van a estar muy beneficioso para el articulo! - Incorporando algunos statisticos en la sección final sobre Asturias y Miranda apoyaría bien tus puntos! - Pienso que la sección de la situación legal podría tener un titulo mas descriptivo porque es un poco vago.
Su articulo es muy, muy bueno! Gracias por dejarme echar un vistazo!
Araney1 (talk) 02:29, 15 October 2021 (UTC)Angie
Comments on second draft edit
@Grayrado: Good work on your draft article! Here are some comments to help you revise as you prepare to publish your work by integrating it with the existing English article.
- Good job including the original citations.
- Maybe instead of “known for its diverse glossonyms”, “known by several names”?
- Opening paragraph: Most people don’t know Castilian Spanish as “Castellano”, and it’s not styled that way in English. Should this just say Spanish, since that’s most comprehensible? Or should it say “Castilian Spanish?” You should change this throughout.
- Not sure what “suffering under the Austrian reign.” means.
- What does “linguistic variations” mean here? Do you mean to say “varieties”?
- “While there exist differing degrees of vitality between regions in the area” isn’t especially idiomatic, maybe consider rewording.
- What is the “Legionnaire VI”?
- First paragraph of the history section doesn’t have any sources. Maybe consider reducing or eliminating things that you can’t source for sure? The second paragraph also has some confusing parts and/or some sentences that could use sources, and you might consider reducing.
- “Along with these old Latin features”; what features?
- What’s the “the Castellano circle”?
- In the diglossia section, I think you should re-read with an eye toward making sure it's idiomatic English. There are some phrasings there that read as translation-ese.
- I would avoid saying something “could be described as the dark times”. Just explain what happened.
- What is “the social level of society”?
- For the quotes from the Spanish constitution, I bet you there’s an official translation of that document into English that you can use, and I’d suggest doing that
- What’s a “vehicular language”?
- I don’t understand what this means: “dialects such as the Occident have evolved into the Oriental dialect”
- The second paragraph of the Geographic distribution section is very hard for me to follow. Can you maybe just condense it to express the meaning?
- What does this mean: “Some dialects are not accounted for because of their high castellanization.”
- I think some aspects of the table might need some formatting work. You might also consider whether the table is really necessary, or if the article should instead just include a link to an external article with the genetic classifications of the various romance languages.
In addition to these changes and the ones I made directly, in our workshop, you should be prepared to think about how you’re going to incorporate your work into the existing article. Where is each piece going to go? How will you integrate things so that you’re not duplicating existing material? Where will you replace existing material with your new material? How might you need to alter your translation to fit in the existing context, including some possible re-writing?