Filmstudent3301A

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Hello, Filmstudent3301A, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:05, 25 September 2019 (UTC)

Notes

Hi! I have some notes for you:

• While less can be more, make sure that you only remove content that absolutely isn't needed in the article. You don't want to over simplify too much and then end up losing important information. I'm concerned about the lead section being reduced so much, particularly since the lead doesn't really need to be reduced - it's more that anything that is in the lead but not in the article body needs to be added there.

• Avoid writing in a point of view fashion, as things like this are subjective to the reader. What one may agree with another may disagree with. POV terms also have issues with neutrality, as making statements about the quality or status of something or someone can come across as non-neutral or even promotional. This is fairly easy to deal with though - you just have to make sure to attribute any claims to the person making them.

• The sourcing needs to be stronger, particularly as some of these aren't usable as reliable sources. IMDb cannot be used to back up claims as anyone can add material to IMDb and the site isn't the best about actually verifying the content that's added. There have been multiple cases of someone adding material to the site that's patently false - even to major motion pictures like the MCU films. FridayMoviez is unclear about its editorial oversight, as well as who is writing the material, so I wouldn't rely on it as a reliable source either. The site's terms and conditions page even states that they don't guarantee the accuracy of the material, which is a bad sign. Hollywood's Black Renaissance also has issues with the same things, as it doesn't have any information about who is writing the content or what (if any) editorial oversight it has. As such I wouldn't use this as a source either.

What you should be looking for are things like academic and scholarly sources, as well as reviews and coverage in places like newspapers and notable media outlets (or at least ones known as reliable). Be careful of Internet searches, as not everything that it brings up are usable as reliable sources. If anything, the majority of the material is going to be unusable on Wikipedia. Primary sources can be used, but they're not something that can establish notability and should be used for non-major claims. Any large claim should use a non-primary source, with the exception of things like using the Oscar website to back up claims of winning an Academy Award and things like that.

• With the filmography, I would use a format that is more typically used on Wikipedia such as the one here, ]]Steven_Spielberg#Filmography|here]], or this.

I hope this all helps! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:30, 23 October 2019 (UTC)

Neema Barnette

Major revisions needed. You have chosen an interesting and important filmmaker! Here are my suggestions for revisions before you move this page to mainspace.

• IMDb is not reliable and it’s not clear whether Friday Moviez is reliable, so I recommend adding at least two additional reliable and independent secondary sources. Check the library’s subscription databases if you haven’t already.
• In general, make sure you don’t overwrite text that is already on the page.
• The title of all plays, movies, and TV shows should be in italics with the first letter of each word capitalized (not all caps).
• Add more footnotes to indicate where the information is coming from.
• Delete promotional language such as “she’s a pioneer for women and people of color.”
• Put the footnotes after the periods.
• If you are going to turn the existing Filmography lists into tables, make separate columns for the release year.

Chronophoto (talk) 13:05, 30 October 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review

The biography you have written in your sandbox is clear and concise, albeit some small grammatical errors. Take this sentence for example: "She started directing kids in the city in plays to help their reading skills, but before pursuing directing, Barnette was an actress in Vinette Carroll's prestigious 'Urban Arts Corps'.[4]" There are a few grammatical errors and issues in sentence structure with this quotation alone. It may be that you are trying to cover too much information too quickly. I would suggest ending a sentence before moving on to another aspect of Barnette's career, when applicable. Try not to use the same word more than once in a sentence. I know it is inevitable in some cases, but for example: "She started directing kids in the city in play to help their reading skills" may sound better as "Barnette began directing local children in New York City plays, to help improve their reading skills." The names of films, television shows, plays, etc. should be italicized rather than written in full caps. When referencing famous institutions or individuals, you can link those names to other Wikipedia pages in your text. I would suggest creating a chart for Barnette's filmography. Another issue you may have with this draft is moving it to the mainspace, as large portions of the information provided are sourced to iMDB. While I understand there is a vast amount of easily accessible information on this website, you will not be able to move any of your work to the mainspace if it is not backed up by a reliable source. iMDB is not an academic publication, anyone can update the site with information (reliable or otherwise), so I hope you are able to find a more trusted publication to back up your research. Good luck on your assignment. Stormont458 (talk) 19:13, 5 November 2019 (UTC)Stormont458

Neema Barnette

Hi, I noticed you have moved a draft article on Neema Barnette to mainspace but there are a couple problems with this. Firstly you moved it to Filmstudent3301A/Neema Barnette Biography but this not a proper article title - it shouldn't have the "Filmstudent3301A/" in front. Secondly there is already an existing article on Neema Barnette here: Neema Barnette. We don't allow multiple articles on the same topic. The best thing to do if you wish to write about Neema Barnette is work on improving the existing article by adding content to it. Thanks ----Pontificalibus 06:44, 20 November 2019 (UTC)