User talk:Englishstudent24/sandbox/Frozen

Draft comments

Hi Englishstudent24. I've made some edits on the draft, leaving a bit to do.

• The first thing you want to remember is that a reader will be able to review the plot summary as they read the article. By the time they read about female empowerment, they will not need a detailed reprisal of the plot. This way you can get at exactly what you want to say without recapping. If you find a scholarly source that puts Elsa and Anna's relationship under the microscope, you can help a reader understand that.
• Take a look at the paragraphs I've changed and see if you can adopt the Anna paragraph similarly. Remember, the Frozen article is already pretty big and while this is really important to the subject, we want to size it to context. This is much less limiting than it seems because as I mentioned above, you only need to focus on critical plot points.
• Try to avoid praising or castigating something in the actual article. We can say that disney hadn't hired a female director until Frozen and we can certainly bring in the many books and articles covering Disney's history but without those source it will be difficult. Instead, try to summarize the criticism and praise and if an important person has a specific critique or comment you can quote them (your Lee quote is great for this).

Let me know if you have any questions about this. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:20, 22 April 2015 (UTC)