User talk:Doctree/sandbox/Chimney Swift

Suggestions

Hello Doctree, I saw your post at the Teahouse, and just thought I'd drop by to take a look. -- so far, so good! Some minor suggestions:

• incorrectly identified → misidentified -- On second thought, your phrasing is better; there is a subtle distinction.
• they fly constantly and eat, drink and collect nest material in flight. → they fly continuously while eating, drinking and collecting nest material in flight.
• they adapted → they have adapted
• ...in the manner of the passerine swallows. -- If I understand the intended context, it might be better as something like: ...in the manner of swallows such as...
• ...nest of twigs glued to... -- glued? -- perhaps this should be explained for people like me who wonder how this is done. (maybe not in the lead, though).
• A chimney or similar masonary structure such as an abandoned silo or air shaft is their usual nest site but Chimney Swift nests were also seen attached to the walls of buildings with openings in the roof or a dug well lined with stone. -- too long for a single sentence.

Anyway -- looks like a great start.-- Good luck and have fun! ~Eric F 184.76.225.106 (talk) 22:36, 13 April 2012 (UTC)

Many thanks for the suggestions, Eric. I hope you'll return in a week or so to check my progress and offer more. Much word-smithing is needed. I'm trying to comply with the WP:BIRD format and content guidelines. 'Glued' is correct; several peer reviewed scientific articles discuss the makeup of the sticky saliva CHSW use to build a nest cup glued to a vertical wall. My challenge is to describe the behavior and chemistry in a way that's both scientifically correct and understandable to laymen. All help is appreciated.DocTree (talk) 02:20, 14 April 2012 (UTC)

I'd be glad to check back whenever you'd like. Just leave a note on my talk page, in case I forget. ~Eric F 184.76.225.106 (talk) 03:04, 14 April 2012 (UTC)