Conor walsh1
| This user is a student editor in California_Polytechnic_State_University,_San_Luis_Obispo/Gender,_Race,_Culture,_Science,_Technology_(Fall_2018) . |
Welcome! edit
Hello, Conor walsh1, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 02:28, 27 September 2018 (UTC)
Peer Review-Naomi Goldman edit
Mariposa16676 (talk) 23:11, 5 November 2018 (UTC)First, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way? I think the article is written in a very clear and direct way. I thought this line in particular was very eloquent,"for whom he is more of an experimental animal than a human being."
What changes would you suggest the author(s) apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement? Honestly, it is quite good as is. Maybe a list of any awards i has won? Social implications or message of the story?
What's the most important thing the author(s) could do to improve the article? The long quote at the end is very very long. It is well written but I don't know if the whole thing needs to be in there. Maybe expand the criticisms section? Then also have a positive section perhaps for neutrality?
Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article? Let them know!
Response edit
Naomi,
Thank you for your responses to the article, but I must note that I actually am not writing about Asimov's "The Ugly Little Boy," interesting though it might be; it doesn't really seem to apply to an ES narrative. I am writing a new article on Heaven Will Be Mine, which is an LGBT-centric visual novel. Still, I will be sure to consider your feedback on the other article and will think about how I can factor it in while I continue to write on Heaven Will Be Mine.
Conor walsh1 (talk) 00:34, 14 November 2018 (UTC)
Talkback edit
Message added 06:06, 24 November 2018 (UTC). You can remove this notice at any time by removing the {{Talkback}} or {{Tb}} template.
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