Hi Conor--Your outline looks good. One thing you might add is some discussion of how we know what we know about the expedition, that is, who wrote about it. Did Serra and Portola keep diaries? If so, a few quotes might be useful. I seem to recall they had some hard times with sickness and hunger--that might be a good opportunity to use their words. Also a map is a real must for this topic so readers can see the routes they took. MJ