Good information that flows well, but it includes arguments. When saying things like, “Dismemberment can be apart of the objectification as well. Women are often times considered objects instead of subjects.”, etc., state who said it, or the source it came from. For example, “According to “____”, dismemberment can be a part of the objectification as well.”
Again, “It's true that women are objectified in hip hop and rap videos all the time. It's usually done by the way they are dresses, to how they speak in seductive or suggestive tones and how they dance in a sexual manner. Sometimes the woman's face isn't shown in these videos. Her body becomes a showpiece and is put on display. The woman loses her identity and it reinforces her role as the sex symbol.
Women's bodies are often dismembered in these videos as well. Breasts, butts, or legs are usually put on display, which makes some people think that the woman's body is no longer connected to her mind and emotions. Also, where the woman is placed can also convey male superiority.” Great information, but slightly too opinionated. Who said this information, or where did it come from? It is good for people to know the different types of objectification and effects on women, but statistics, quotes, or some other fact would really push this information to another level.
All in all, very good. The info you included is very relevant to the topic, it is balanced, and you stayed on subject. Remember to cite sources, and have at least one source that is academic.
Rpayne8 (talk) 13:15, 27 October 2015 (UTC)
Your submission at Articles for creation: sandbox (September 4)
edit
- If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to User:Chowa39/sandbox and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
- If you need any assistance, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk or on the reviewer's talk page.
- You can also get Wikipedia's Live Help real-time chat help from experienced editors.
|
Hello! Chowa39,
I noticed your article was declined at Articles for Creation, and that can be disappointing. If you are wondering or curious about why your article submission was declined please post a question at the Articles for creation help desk. If you have any other questions about your editing experience, we'd love to help you at the Teahouse, a friendly space on Wikipedia where experienced editors lend a hand to help new editors like yourself! See you there! Onel5969 TT me 13:59, 4 September 2015 (UTC)
|