Bellerive37200
Welcome!
editWelcome to Wikipedia, Bellerive37200! Thank you for your contributions. I am Lixxx235 and I have been editing Wikipedia for some time, so if you have any questions feel free to leave me a message on my talk page. You can also check out Wikipedia:Questions or type {{help me}}
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Hi! I am introducing myself for our Friday homework. I am interested in editing articles on the sometimes awkward transition between youth and adulthood. Could you please double check my edit on the Youth page? I added a definition from Furlong about youth being defined in terms of dependency which varies by culture. --Locke Perkins (talk) 03:35, 5 September 2014 (UTC)
You're on your way!
editHi! Good job getting launched successfully on WP! You've chosen some interesting topics to pursue. It seems to me the next step is figuring out where the articles about the topic you want to study is located in Wikipedia. Gobonobo is really good at identifying articles; if you can write a bit more about what your are interested in, I'm sure ze would give you some tips. Are you wanting to research educational inequality, curriculum differential globally, or some other topic?
Please revise your user page so all the links work. Abbey can help you with this, as could the Tea House. Anything you see in red signifies a disconnected link. For some of them, the issue is that the second and beyond words are not capitalized.
Good luck - carry on! Prof.Vandegrift (talk) 03:01, 11 September 2014 (UTC)
Great Topics
editHello, Bellerive37200. I hope you are enjoying our Youth Studies class. I think your topics are really interesting. I'm also interested in Education. Good luck with your editing! Unbroken14 (talk) 20:06, 12 September 2014 (UTC)Unbroken14
Intriguing outlooks
editHello!
Your topics look super interesting and I cannot wait to see how you expand on them through Wikipedia. Good work so far!
Good Evening
editHello, Bellerive37200! I am just checking out my peers interests and saw your interest in Education inequality. I took Sociology of Education over the summer and found the information astounding in terms of inequalities present in society. I think this is an excellent article to expand and am sure you'll have no trouble finding plenty of information. It looks as if it needs a makeover. Good luck. I look forward to following up with your choice! Hatigges (talk) 02:42, 13 September 2014 (UTC)
Proposal Feedback
editGood! I see you’ve identified that the article doesn’t have an encyclopedic tone and that this is a major step you can take towards dealing with systemic bias in Wikipedia. However, I think that going through the page—piece by piece—and editing language use in addition to getting rid of citations and adding new material might be a lofty task.
I would suggest that you start by cutting information that doesn’t have citations. That way you can see what’s left of the article and if there are major gaps in information. I also noticed some bad citations (meaning that there’s just a web address as a citation in one case). These are also the types of problems that can help clean up the page.
Something I’d be careful of when you add new sections is that things like the head start program don’t overwhelm the article. My understanding of head start is that it’s something that mostly takes place in the US, and that could become problematic for adding a multitude of diverse country’s experiences with educational inequality. It could be helpful instead to make a ‘see also’ section in your article, and add more specific things like head start or other international programs in that section.
Best of luck!
Feedback on recent work
editHi, Bellerive37200! I think you found a good article to edit. I echo Abbey's feedback regarding careful examination of each sentence and section.
Your sources are needed as soon as possible. This will help you create thoughtful additions using well-researched scholarship. I also suggest you check out statistical data on UNESCO. Please post these soon so you can get going on your article draft revisions.
Keep working to use the language of the Wikipedia community. For example, instead of unbiased language, Wikipedia talks about WP:NPOV. Prof.Vandegrift (talk) 20:34, 4 October 2014 (UTC)
Peer Review
edit- I applaud you on your writing technique, you were extremely easy to understand without dumbing down the information. Good formatting, and not too wordy.
- I would recommend adding more on the wage gap section, I know that there is a lot of information about this section (especially in consideration to women and those with special needs)
- I don't know specifically what you are looking for in consideration to the "policy implications" section, but adding a bit about no child left behind might be helpful? Also looking up the rules about education for children with special needs might help, there is some pretty accessible information about that online.
- something that I was surprised not to see in your article is that you didn't specifically say who was effected most by education inequality - the obvious answer to me is children in poverty, children with special needs, and children with a lack of resources. I'm sure you know more since you've been researching this and I haven't, but I would recommend saying which populations are most effected by the education inequality that you so eloquently speak of.