User talk:Annamuzaffar/sandbox

Latest comment: 7 years ago by Syedm191

I'd watch out for language like "most helpful" just say it helps autistic children with verbal skills. The closet thing I can think to say is, tone down the passion, because I can see it when reading. Can't put it too much of a good light, just a neutral and factual light. Don't use direct quotes, paraphrase in your own understanding of what you read, then put the references at the bottom. Make an overview paragraph so that the reader can know what's coming, such as the topics your broke into autism, down syndrome, benefits.Jcudi (talk) 15:27, 26 April 2017 (UTC)jcudi(jo)Reply

Your feelings towards children with Down Syndrome are visible in your writing. Since the page is on "special education" and not "special education-down's syndrome" specifically, I think you should also pay attention to disabilities other than just Down's Syndrome. But if you are deciding to stay with the topic you already chose then I feel like you are in a very good shape, the only thing I would say is that you need a little more examples. I really like your approach on how you address the importance/introduction of new technology in a child's life. I like how you mention a deformity or disability and then say the piece of technology may help. Keep that structure and just add a few more, maybe by even breaking it down into a couple paragraphs. Syedm191 (talk) 15:36, 26 April 2017 (UTC)Reply