Alexisperez31
Welcome!
editHello, Alexisperez31, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:54, 13 January 2020 (UTC)
Notes
editI have some notes for your draft:
- The citations need to be in-line so we can tell what source bachis ks up which claim.
- This needs editing for tone, as it reads favorably for the artist. It's also important to avoid making any subjective/opinion type statements or personal interpretations of the artist and their work - we can only summarize what has been explicitly stated and anything that seems non-neutral needs to be clearly attributed.
- The artworks section read like an interpretation of the artworks. This is an area where it's extra important to have sourcing, as we can only summarize what others have explicitly stated about the artworks. As such, I turned this into a simple list for the time being.
- The art style and philosophy section needed to be re-written to better attribute the claims so that it doesn't come across as original research.
- I'm concerned about the sourcing, as some of it looks like it wouldn't be seen as reliable per Wikipedia guidelines. For example, there's not a lot of information about the Weaving in Beauty website's editorial process and it's also concerning that the site advertises services and its products.
- Things like this are a little iffy. She's exhibiting, but she's listed as having a booth. This poses an issue since the question here is whether she was selectively invited (ie, the museum chose all of the guests, no one could apply) or if she applied and paid for the booth herself - in other words, the fashion show is made up of vendors who paid to be there.
- One of the sources is a WordPress blog. It states that it collects material that was published to a newspaper, however it's incredibly vital that this be verified so we can determine if the source is a reliable one. I'm not saying that it can't be usable, just that most self-published sources aren't so it's important to check for reliability and if the paper/author is typically seen as a reliable source by other reliable sources, especially academic and scholarly sources. Although of note here is that this is an interview, which is seen as a primary source by many Wikipedians, meaning that it can't establish notability. I don't always agree with this, but it's a fairly widespread opinion.
- On that note, there needs to be more sourcing that can help establish notability.
I've edited the content for formatting and some of the tone, as I wanted to insert some paragraph breaks. I also wanted to merge the education section since this was already covered in the bio section - there wasn't a need for two sections. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:58, 3 March 2020 (UTC)
Response
editHi! By formatting, did you mean that you needed help with in-line citations and formatting? I can help to a degree, but this still needs editing for tone and style. This brochure may help supplement my notes. I'll try to go through and help with the tone, but the sourcing does need to be in-line. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 22:01, 5 March 2020 (UTC)
- I've done some cleanup - now the sources just need to be made in-line. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 01:12, 6 March 2020 (UTC)