Alesha.flannery

Feedback on Student_engagement#Connected_learning

Hi, I'm the content expert for your class and your professor asked me to look over your contributions at Student_engagement#Connected_learning. Here are a few things that I noted:

1. You sourced the entire section using one source. Try to avoid doing this, as using multiple sources will help ensure that the content is neutral and also back up the content. Ideally researchers will be thorough and neutral with their research reports and articles, it's not uncommon to see people writing papers that support a point or particular service. For example, the paper you used here was written by people working for the organization that runs the Connected Learning Research Network. In other words, they wrote a paper that supports their own services. The paper looks good and while I'd certainly use it as a source, it's not a good idea to use it as the sole source for a section about something that they champion, as they run the risk of being partial towards connected learning.
2. Be very careful about close paraphrasing, as this is considered to be a copyright violation and can be seen as plagiarism. This may not have been your intent, especially as in some cases where there aren't a lot of ways to rephrase something, but it can still be seen as such. In these cases make sure that you properly attribute the material in the article by saying something along the lines of "according to..." and ".... states". I would also recommend that you do this with most lengthy quotes as well. The reason I'm warning about this is that I found some close paraphrasing in your section. I corrected what I found, but I want you to check the section over carefully and ensure that no more remains.
3. Make sure that the section is neutral. What you have here isn't bad, but occasionally it feels like it's more oriented towards pro-connected learning. I would recommend going over it while you're checking for copyvio/close paraphrasing and give it a little bit of a once over.

Now that said, this section is one that should be in the article as a whole. It just needs a little work, is all. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 04:25, 3 May 2017 (UTC)

• Since I don't know how much of it is closely paraphrased, I'm removing all but the first paragraph to be on the safe side. I don't want it to get detected by one of the filters or by another editor and end up having your additions completely erased from the article history. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 04:26, 3 May 2017 (UTC)

• Hi! Your professor wanted me to look over your work again. It looks like you've been working in your sandbox and so far the changes you've made look good. Just remember that you need to add more sourcing and to also be careful about avoiding plagiarism, if you have any of it in your sandbox. Other than that, this looks good so far. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 04:30, 10 May 2017 (UTC)