User:Whoop whoop pull up/Wikipedia VI: The Last Editor

Note: For maximum enjoyment, play the music in a new tab and read the text. Reading it slower may make it more epic.


Cast

edit

(in order of appearance)

  • Narrator: Whoop whoop voiceover.
  • Jimbo Wales: Founder of Wikipedia, creator of the Jimbo Priveleges.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Jimbo's right-hand woman, recipient of the Award of Impossible Merit.
  • Thekillerpenguin: A bionic penguin who once single-handedly took down a vandal base.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: The leader of the WikiPumas, who temporarily defeated Willy on Wheels before Ding took over Uncyclopedia.
  • German Wikipedians: The army of the German Wikipedia. Currently fighting harder than the practically destroyed English Wikipedian Army.
  • A ding ding ding ding...: The vandal that vandalized the most before being blocked; has a ram's head and eagle talons. Current head of Uncyclopedia.
  • Willy on Wheels: Formerly the head of Uncyclopedia, then a servant to Ding, before he defected to Wikipedia.
  • Double sharp: Yet another blatant self-insertion by an author of this WP movie.

Script

edit

Scene 0: Introduction

edit

Wikipedia is in grave danger. JIMBO has been repulsed from TAMPA CITY, his forces slaughtered in the vandal pursuit, and his precious Wiki Gear JIM destroyed. DING has taken over Wikipedia, and is vandalizing it to a point not even WILLY ON WHEELS, who has since defected to the Wikipedian side, ever imagined. WHOOP WHOOP PULL UP and THEKILLERPENGUIN still stand by Jimbo's side, but they alone cannot stop the vandal hordes, and they desperately need assistance.

Scene 1: The Flight

edit

Jimbo and Whoop whoop are running through light woods, towards the dark shadows in the deeper woods. Thekillerpenguin follows some distance behind them, firing Parthian shots. Scattered gunfire and the occasional explosion can be heard in the distance.

  • Jimbo: Hurry! We don't have much time!
  • Whoop whoop: I know. We were all very lucky that we survived when Wiki Gear JIM blew up. Poor Theopolisme, though...
  • Thekillerpenguin: RIP, Theopolisme. Now, where is Brambleberry? The serum should have worn off by now.

Brambleberry of RiverClan comes bounding up.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: I've found a sea, and a group of either editors or vandals with a submarine.

They approach.

  • People with submarine: Halt! Wer ist da?
  • Jimbo: I am Jimbo Wales. You will be the German Wikipedians?
  • German Wikipedian Leader: (returns to English) Yes! Ding has not ravaged the German Wikipedia quite as badly as the English Wikipedia, and we still have quite a substantial army. Hop in our type XXI U-boat and we will take you to our home base.

They all get in the U-boat. It sets sail.

Scene 2: Deutschewikipedia

edit

Brambleberry is nervously pacing.

  • Jimbo: What's wrong with her?
  • Thekillerpenguin: She doesn't like water or train rides.
  • Dockuin: The last time she had to be around water she was trying not to get shot.
  • Thekillerpenguin: What are you doing here?
  • Dockuin: Since I got voted out, I've been a sort of imp, telling you important things but then not doing anything to help you solve them.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: As long as you're not a Kallikantzaros.
  • Thekillerpenguin: I can tell that you were paying attention.

The U-boat stops.

  • German Wikipedia leader: We're here.

They all step onto German land.

  • Thekillerpenguin: Wait, who are those people up ahead? Are they vandals?
  • German Wikipedia leader: No...well, yes...but not the kind you're familiar with.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: So they're Vandals? The Germanic civilization?
  • German Wikipedia leader: Well, calling them a civilization is a bit of a stretch...
  • Jimbo: Didn't the Vandals collapse in 534?
  • German Wikipedia leader: We all thought so.

The group walks over to a cafe and discuss things over chocolate cake.

  • Thekillerpenguin: To what extent has Deutschewikipedia been affected by Ding?
  • German Wikipedian leader: We've been having increased vandal efforts ever since Ding rose up. Now that Willy has defected, we know much more to what Ding's been doing. Apparently, he's supporting the Inclusionist Cabal and the Deletionist Cabals simultaneously.
  • Jimbo: That's bound to cause conflict.
  • Brambleberry of Riverclan: Exactly what Ding wants.
  • Thekillerpenguin: Wait, Brambleberry, you're a WikiPuma, right?
  • Brambleberry of Riverclan: So?
  • Thekillerpenguin: Why are you eating chocolate?

Brambleberry suddenly runs to the bathroom and throws up.

  • German Wikipedian leader: Next time, I'll just serve sponge cake instead.
  • Whoop Whoop pull up: Agreed.

Scene 3: The Defector

edit
  • Jimbo: I've summoned Willy over in a helicopter. He should be here any minute now.

Willy arrives at the helipad and heads over to the cafe, and gets himself some tea.

  • Jimbo: So, how's the battle at Tampa City?
  • Willy on Wheels: Apparently, it was conquered yet again. Ding's busy "redecorating" the place, namely putting spray paint and graffiti on the tower. He's also invited the Dramapedians over.
  • Jimbo: So the vandals are there trashing the place, and the Dramapedians are partying around, huh?
  • Willy on Wheels: That's pretty much how I would put it.
  • Whoop Whoop pull up: Hey, as long as you're here, you probably want some protection, right? Bet there's a bounty on your head.
  • Willy on Wheels: I suppose so.
  • Whoop Whoop pull up: We'll let you go into hiding within Deutschewikipedia.
  • Willy on Wheels: I hate to say this, but thanks.

Thekillerpenguin brings a tray of delicious toffee for everyone. Willy grabs a piece and leaves to get a taxi.

  • Thekillerpenguin: What are we going to do now?
  • Jimbo: I say that we go to Wikipedia and take back some of the ground we lost. First stop, ANI.
  • Brambleberry of Riverclan: The "Drama board".

Bf 109s roar overhead

Scene 4:WP:ANI

edit

Thekillerpenguin and Whoop Whoop pull up are flying in a helicopter over to the long road at the outskirts of WP:ANI. Thekillerpenguin has a long monologue that is heard, but not seen. This is the music.

  • Thekillerpenguin: Editing has changed. Sneaky sockmasters use sneaky sockpuppets to wage their wars. Editing and its consumption of WikiStress has become a well-oiled machine. Battlefield "control". Editor "control". Everything is monitored and kept under "control". The edit wars are becoming more and more intense. Editing has changed. It's no longer for the good of the encyclopedia, it's about personally attacking, trolling, forcing editors to leave. Editing has changed.

The helicopter flies over WP:AN and they witness a small battlefield between editors.

  • Whoop Whoop pull up: It's sad to see that even though the vandals are our true enemies, we still fight each other.

The helicopter arrives at WP:ANI, and as soon as it lands, it gets destroyed by nearby tanks.

  • Whoop Whoop pull up: Have you ever noticed that our helicopters always get destroyed?
  • Thekillerpenguin: Actually, I did.

A bunch of vandals are advancing to different sections of ANI. Whoop Whoop orders and airstrike on all the trolls, vandals, and POV pushers. The Bf109s do a strafing run and none are shot down.

  • Thekillerpenguin: Let's cut down some of the vandals, then I deal with the leftovers.
  • Whoop Whoop pull up: Sounds good.

Flash forward several hours. As all the vandals are down, Vandal Gear WOW appears and the cockpit opens up to reveal Evil Jimbo. Music change

  • Evil Jimbo: Before you ask questions, I dug Vandal Gear out of the rubble and refurbished it. NOW, DIE!

Both Whoop and Thekillerpenguin are running around in circles as Vandal Gear attacks.

  • Whoop Whoop pull up: We need a way to destroy Vandal Gear!
  • Thekillerpenguin: I have a special high-frequency blade made out of Rainbow Rock, the hardest mineral in existence. It is indestructible, and if sharpened right, can cut through almost anything. Let's cut her up!

Thekillerpenguin jumps into the air on top of Vandal Gear and slices the cockpit open, exposing Evil Jimbo. He jumps out and reveals his own Rainbow Rock sword, and the two engage in a epic sword fight before Evil Jimbo's arm is severed.

  • Evil Jimbo: IT'S NOT OVER YET!
  • Thekillerpenguin: On the contrary, it is.

Thekillerpenguin slices Evil Jimbo in half, and destroys Vandal Gear.

  • Whoop Whoop pull up: So, we took back WP:ANI after all.
  • Thekillerpenguin: Let's head back, the others are waiting, and we need to get more forces.

Scene 5: Antarctic Storm

edit

The scene starts with a shot of a dark conference room in the Leopard Seal Mothership, a monstrously large space ship flying in low Earth orbit. The conference room has a table, a few dim lights overhead, delegations sitting at the table, and staff/crew members watching in the background.

  • Vandal Delegate 1: There is a good reason we asked to have a meeting on your Mothership. I have to say that this ship is quite an achievement, but it still pales in comparison to the penguins. Anyway, we are seeking your support to deal with the last of the Alliance of Penguins. Ever since that "Popset" was elected, the economy has been going straight down.
  • Vandal Delegate 2: Literally, the GDP for the Alliance of Penguins did not go up one point in it's downward trend. The line is so steep, it's 10 degrees from becoming vertical.
  • Vandal Delegate 3: Well, after Popset was revealed to be a fake, the GDP of the Alliance of Penguins dropped down to less than the United Nation of Leopard Seal's GDP.
  • King EyeFrost: We're not complaining, after all. So are you saying that you want us to give you a bunch of troops so you can conquer Antarctica?
  • Vandal Delegate 1: Yes, that is precisely what we are saying.
  • General BigTooth: Screw you guys. The last time we had an "alliance", we had our butts kicked at the Battle of Bagel Hill. All I'm saying is that if you want us to ally with you again, you will have to create measurable success. We don't want any blue schist like last time.
  • Vandal Delegate 3: Rest assured that we have covered our shortcomings, and we are not going to make any mistakes this time. Besides, there's a secret hidden deep in the bowels of the Wikipedia Server Room in the underground fortress next to the South Pole. That secret will be the difference between victory and defeat for both of our countries.

Sergeant SpotFin comes in and stands up. The Vandal Delegates, King EyeFrost, and General BigTooth go on talking without noticing the sergeant, even after he clears his throat a few times. Eventually he trouts BigTooth.

  • General BigTooth: What?
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Sir, there's a riot in upper Spotted City.
  • General BigTooth: WHAT?!?
  • Sergeant SpotFin: The leopard seals say that they're tired of King EyeFrost wasting all of their tax money on the Penguin-Leopard Seal War. So they're rioting.
  • King EyeFrost: WHAT?!?
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Sir-
  • King EyeFrost: I know what you said!
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Uhhh, OK sir!

Sergeant SpotFin walks out of the room as King EyeFrost fumes about the condition of his country.

  • King EyeFrost: WHY WON'T THEY JUST LISTEN TO ME? ONCE THE PENGUINS ARE FINISHED, WE CAN PILLAGE EVERYTHING AND SELL THE PROFITS!!!???

A vandal delegate stands up.

  • Vandal Delegate 1: If you'll excuse me, sir, I have to check up on some of my business.
  • King EyeFrost: Very well.

The vandal delegate walks out of the room. The camera follows him walking down the hallways of the Mothership, and he eventually finds a dark guest room with a computer in it. As the delegate accesses the computer, the viewer can view some text on the screen. The delegate has received an e-mail. He opens it up, and reads it. The text is clearly visible. It says:

"We have found out the true purpose of the Wikipedian Antarctic Server Room. It's there to not only route Antarctic internet traffic to Wikipedia's server's in Tampa, but it's also a tech lab dedicated to bots, scripts, and highly classified technology. I've hacked into the accounts of some admins for that tech lab, and one log, albeit heavily encrypted and redacted, says they may have found a way to oversight not only a user's contributions, but also their username and purge all logs related to them. It's like you completely remove all traces of an account from the system. In other words, they've found a way to delete accounts. This will affect anything- even that Jimbo Wales that we're all trying to kill and depose. Deleting accounts would hinder some copyright stuff that Wikipedians are concerned about, but who cares? We're vandals. We break the rules.

Something isn't completely right about this. The encryptions of this server are a little bit too unsecure for a highly secret testing lab that even the world can't know about. It's like they kind of want us to find this. Until we invade that lab, stay alert.

-A ding ding ding ding........ slaying contributers, vandalism fighters, and Wikipedians since 2014."

  • Vandal Delegate 1: Hmmm, that's interesting.

However, a figure rises from the shadows, stepping ever so quietly, with a knife drawn. Just as the vandal delegate is about to reply to the e-mail, he feels a sharp pain in his upper shoulder. As he suddenly looks behind him, he gets shot by a silenced USP pistol. As his body slumps to the floor, the stranger walks over to the computer screen and takes a look at its contents. The camera angles to show the light from the computer screen shining on a face.

It is Whoop Whoop pull up, the editor turned bureaucrat.

Scene 6: Let's Start a Riot

edit

Leopard seals are breaking things with baseball bats and starting fires as this music plays in the background. Brambleberry nervously makes her way through the streets of Spotted City, climbing over hordes of dead bodies.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Damned penguins. "Well, you can't send one of us out, because the leopard seals know and hate us!" The leopard seals hate me because I helped at Bagel Hill, and they certainly know me because I'm a freaking black-and-white spotted puma with blue eyes that speaks English!

The rioting leopard seals stop rioting to look at the WikiPuma yelling at herself. They stop and look at her before going back to their previous tasks.

  • Leopard Seal 1: Hey, wasn't that the puma that helped contribute to the demise of General BigTooth at the Battle of Bagel Hill?

The music stops as the leopard seals think about whether or not it is indeed Brambleberry.

  • Leopard Seals: LET'S GET HER!
  • Leopard Seal 1337: Wait, why do you want to attack her? She didn't directly harm us.
  • Leopard Seal 666: TRAITOR!

Leopard Seal 1337 gets shot in the head and hanged from a lamp post.

  • Leopard Seal 1: Now, where were we? Oh yeah, LET'S GET HER!

The Leopard Seals do a Zerg-Rush on Brambleberry, who promptly retreats to an abandoned cafe on the other side of the street.

  • Brambleberry of Riverclan: Well, great. I'll soon be overrun by seals wielding baseball bats and kitchen knives. Not the best end you can get.

Suddenly, a loud crash is heard outside.

  • Brambleberry of Riverclan: Huh?

As she peeks outside of the window, a large eggshell has landed out of the sky, with a lone penguin standing in the cracked debris. It is Thekillerpenguin.

  • Leopard Seal 314: Hey, a penguin! Let's kill him, skin him and flay him!
  • Thekillerpenguin: Sorry, but I can't die just yet.

The leopard seals surround Thekillerpenguin as Brambleberry watches from her hiding place. A lone leopard seal separates from the group and attempts to impale Thekillerpenguin with a kitchen knife. However, as he stabs Thekillerpenguin, the knife blade breaks instantly.

  • Thekillerpenguin: Hello. This is the part where I kill you.

Thekillerpenguin picks up the aforementioned leopard seal by the neck, and uses his reinforced beak to peck his vital organs out, and punts the corpse 20 meters away. Thekillerpenguin then activates his battle armor. A combat vest emerges from his body. A helmet sprouts out of the back of his head, assembling and putting itself on his forehead. Various cyborg parts, like a spine reinforcement and back armor, spawn on his back. Finally, as assorted armor plates situate themselves on his legs and sides, he draws out a sword hilt from his back storage. With a flick of a button, the hilt sprouts a glowing blue blade of enchanted ice. As a polarized dark blue battle visor finally lowers from his helmet, Thekillerpenguin raises his Ice Sword, and the camera zooms in on his face.

  • Thekillerpenguin: LET'S DANCE!

Thekillerpenguin then engages the group in combat.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Damn. I wish I knew where my battle armor was. I guess it doesn't help that I can't use a sword.
  • Shopkeeper: What did you say?
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Is someone there?
  • Shopkeeper: Just me, a lowly old shopkeeper. Did you know leopard squirrels don't like iced coffee?
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Do you mean leopard seals?
  • Shopkeeper: Eh, same old, same old. You want to be able to hold a sword?
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Well, it's always been my dream to become an archer.
  • Shopkeeper: Say no more!

Suddenly, Brambleberry feels herself transforming. She is standing on her hind legs now, and her body is slightly more humanoid while still retaining its feline shape, if that makes any sense. She is now wearing a green hoodie and boot-cut jeans with purple Converse low-tops. Her front paws are more like hands, but still retain feline paw pads and tufts of fur between the fingers.

  • Shopkeeper: Wait, you'll need these!

The shopkeeper comes out of the open and hands her a yew longbow, a quiver with twenty-four arrows (rowan with osprey fletchings and obsidian heads), a Celtic longsword, and a round, steel shield. The shopkeeper, after he gives her everything, is now shown to be a penguin.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: A penguin?
  • Shopkeeper: Oh yes, my name is Cebboo. Now go out there and show those leopard squirrels how pumas fight!
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: (attempts to roar, but purrs instead) Blech, my voice box isn't equipped for roaring.

Brambleberry rushes outside to handle the crowd of leopard seals.

  • Thekillerpenguin: WHO WANTS SOME OF THIS?!!

Thekillerpenguin is busy slicing the advancing leopard seals as more come from the other streets to meet him. A small number appears in the very lower right hand corner of the screen documenting the number of leopard seals Thekillerpenguin has taken down. Right now, it is at 42.

  • Leopard Seal 45: Whoah, this guy isn't playing! Take out the big guns!
  • Brambleberry of Riverclan: Wait, how did they get artillery?

Suddenly, a large flying cargo plane flies overhead and hovers nearby, with large amounts of artillery loaded inside. The plane's cargo bay opens up, deploying the assorted cannons, missiles, and mortars. The screen focuses on a small icon on the plane's wing.

  • Thekillerpenguin: It can't be....

Thekillerpenguin uses his visor binoculars to take a look at the icon. It is a small flag with birds flying in the air.

  • Thekillerpenguin: We're probably screwed.
  • Brambleberry of Riverclan: Why? The only thing the leopard seals have now is artillery and half-equipped foot soldiers.
  • Thekillerpenguin: You see that flag?
  • Brambleberry of Riverclan: What about that flag?
  • Thekillerpenguin: Have you heard in the news about the Skua Empire's gigantic investment in their military? So much that it rivals the Leopard Seal's?
  • Brambleberry of Riverclan: Yup.
  • Thekillerpenguin: We've been had. That flag on the plane is the flag of the Skua Empire.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: We're fucked.
  • Thekillerpenguin: You can't say that here! We have to keep this PG-13!
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: WP:NOTCENSORED.
  • ClueBotNG: (in the distance) Revert. No swearing.

Fade to black.

Scene 7: Double sharp's Army

edit

Screen slowly fades in. Double sharp appears walking in the ruins of Tampa City, carrying a bloody sword. His expression is unreadable. All of a sudden, thousands of vandals appear out of a smouldering crater that once was a featured list. He draws his sword and starts pursuit.

  • Double sharp: Well, look what we have here. More vandals to deal with.

Yet another crater blows up and spawns more vandals.

  • Double sharp: Uggh, are you kidding?

25 Unencyclops unmanned robots jump from the ruined Tampa Tower and land in front of Double Sharp. Their red eyes start glowing, and their weapons systems activate.

  • Double sharp: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! HOW IN THE WORLD AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH 25 GIANT VANDAL ROBOTS?!! *stabs one* 24! *runs*

Double sharp runs around a corner, then suddenly skids to a stop, a look of utter horror on his face. Sixteen more Unencyclopes are trundling down it towards him. They, too, rise their weapons. Double sharp suddenly grins.

  • Double sharp: EAT C4, UNENCYCLOPES!

Just as both groups of Unencyclopes fire, Double sharp dodges into an alleyway. Each group's volleys of bullets, rockets, and grenades streak through where Double sharp was and slam into the other group. Both groups of Unencyclopes are destroyed.

  • Vandal 17: Hey, he killed the Unencyclopes!
  • Vandal 35: KILL HIM!
  • Double sharp: NOOOOOOOOO!

Double sharp falls to the ground in despair. Suddenly, the Wikipedian corpses littering the roads rise up. They look at Double sharp. As he looks on in amazement, they salute him.

  • Double sharp: Undead Wikipedians? [They raise their weapons] KILL!

The undead Wikipedians tear into the vandals. The vandals try to fight back, but the undead Wikipedians keep going even when hit by multiple bullets, until they get hit enough times that they collapse into gory pulp. The vandals are destroyed.

  • Double sharp: Undead Wikipedians, ONWARD!

They walk, stumble, and stagger down the street in search of more vandals to kill. Double sharp follows them. As he turns his head past the camera, he sports an evil grin and red eyes for a second. Fade to black.

Scene 8: Seals and Bureaucrats, What's Next?

edit

As Whoop whoop pull up looks at more of the vandals' archives, Sergeant SpotFin hops in.

  • Sergeant SpotFin: Ser, Vandal Delegate 1, er, your presence is requested by King EyeFrost. He says he wants help on controlling the riots.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Tell him that I'm busy and to send Vandal Delegate 2.
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Right away Ser.

Sergeant SpotFin starts to hop away when he realizes that Whoop whoop's voice sounds nothing like Vandal Delegate 1's.

  • Sergeant SpotFin: Who are you, Ser?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: My name is Whoop whoop pull up. I am a bureaucrat and savior of Wikipedia. I have come to destroy all vandals such as your wretched affiliations. I am also in control of your life and your death at the moment. I choose death.
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Thank Kotick!

Whoop whoop pull up was pulling up a kukri when Sergeant SpotFin said that. Whoop whoop paused and the knife stumbled.

  • Whoop whoop pull up: What?
  • Sergeant SpotFin: I hated working here! I hate everyone here! I want to have another life that isn't this! Please kill me!
  • Whoop whoop pull up: I'm not going to kill a friend of Wikipedia. Is there a way that you can get us out?
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Through the vents, maybe.

SpotFin leads Whoop whoop to the vents. Whoop whoop looks at them with wide eyes.

  • Whoop whoop pull up: A woman of my stature is not going to fit in those.
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Maybe there's another way. (beat) There is! Come on!

Both SpotFin and Whoop Whoop rush quietly to a large door marked "HANGAR". As SpotFin activates the door with a keypad, the interior of the hangar reveals several large fighter jets inside. On the far end of the room, a large hallway marked "AIRLOCK" is seen.

  • Sergeant SpotFin: Let's see if I can grab a fighter jet from the hangar.
  • Whoop Whoop pull up: Dibs on the red one with laser missiles!

SpotFin slides his ID card into the computer of a fighter jet. It says "PROCESSING..."

  • Mothership P.A.: Vandal Delegate 1, please head to the Conference Room. If you do not report in 5 minutes, we will send someone to escort you there.
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Uh oh.

The view goes back to the fighter jet screen. It now says, "ACCESS DENIED. UNAUTHORIZED ID."

  • Sergeant SpotFin: Dammit! Wait, I wasn't trained in the fighter jets! That's why I'm not authorized to activate one!
  • Mothership P.A.: Unauthorized access of military hardware detected in main Hangar. Sending scouts to investigate.

In a few seconds, fully armed light Leopard Seal units wearing legged suits walk into the hangar with weapons drawn. Whoop Whoop and SpotFin both hide behind two aircraft in the back as the Leopard Seal team starts sweeping the area. More reinforcements arrive shortly, including a Goliath unmanned robot, which is 20 feet tall and resembles an Unencyclops.

  • Goliath A.I.: ENEMY PRESENCE DETECTED. ACTIVATING COMBAT STANCE.

Soon, the massively large Goliath activates a railgun and a Tesla Coil on its back. General LockJaw, who was absent from the meeting, arrives with his own special ops unit, with red armor.

  • Sergeant SpotFin: Just great. We only have pistols and knives. How the heck are we supposed to win against a massive enemy force including a giant robot?
  • Whoop Whoop pull up: We can.
  • Sergeant SpotFin: How can you say that?! You have even less stuff than I do!
  • Whoop Whoop pull up: We can, because we have no choice.

Whoop Whoop puts on a woven bandana and prepares her weapon as the huge enemy force gets closer to her hiding spot. She also grabs a nearby pressurized suit, thinking that it might be helpful. SpotFin activates his facemask from his helmet, and the screen fades to black.

Scene 9: We're Fucked!

edit

Brambleberry and Thekillerpenguin are standing back-to-back as the Skua Empire comes for them.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: We're fucked!
  • ClueBotNG: (in the distance) Revert. No swearing.

(Note: This is not PG-13 anymore.)

  • Thekillerpenguin: Stop saying that.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Why should I stop saying that? We're fucked!
  • ClueBotNG: (in the distance) Revert. No swearing.
  • Thekillerpenguin: It's called the power of positive thinking.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: No power of positive thinking will help us. We can't win.
  • Thekillerpenguin: We can, because we have no choice.

Brambleberry of RiverClan twitches her ears.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Someone literally said the exact same thing as you at the exact same time as you.
  • Thekillerpenguin: Cool story. Now start fighting.

Brambleberry of RiverClan nocks an arrow as Thekillerpenguin holds up his sword. Brambleberry looks at a dirigible up ahead with the flag of the Skua Empire. She fires the arrow by accident, which hits the dirigible and causes it to explode.

  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Exploding arrows. Sweet.
  • Thekillerpenguin: Are we still fucked?
  • ClueBotNG: (in the distance) Revert. No swearing.
  • Brambleberry of RiverClan: Only if I run out of arrows.

Several more combat fights are seen. Thekillerpenguin holsters his Ice Sword on his back for now, and takes out a silenced penguin sub machine gun. Brambleberry continues to fight, taking down countless air units. The scene then flashes to a American news report on the ongoing conflict.

  • News Broadcaster: This just in. The recent riots in Spotted City, the capital city of the United Nation of Leopard Seals, have sparked a smaller, yet bloodier conflict.

Within the news screen, a slideshow of the devastation is shown. Currently, it shows a picture of rioting leopard seals.

  • News Broadcaster: The original riots began about a day ago, when some leopard seal citizens apparently became tired of the government spending all their taxpayer money on the ongoing Penguin-Leopard Seal War. Since then, the rioting has swelled to the thousands, with more than 500 reports of pillaging, vandalizing, and public defacement.

The slideshow switches to a satellite photo of the Skua Empire's invasion.

  • News Broadcaster: After that, the situation went downright ugly. The Skua Empire apparently signed a treaty of cooperation with the rebellion. After sending a massive invasion force to the Spotted City, government forces were almost completely destroyed. However, it seems like two people prevailed, against both the government and rebels, including the Skua Empire.

The slideshow now is a photo of Brambleberry and Thekillerpenguin fending off the huge invasion force from the Skua Empire.'

  • News Broadcaster: Well, these as-of-now unidentified people have completely destroyed two regiments of the Skua Army. Official Skua reports show more than 1000 soldiers killed in battle, and 1050+ wounded. All against two, uh, non-military people.

The scene then zooms out a little bit- it is now shown that the news report was shown on a fancy HD TV in Emperor Norton III's house. Emperor Norton paces back and forth the room.

  • Norton III: Dammit, I would really like to help both Thekillerpenguin and Brambleberry right now, but if I attack or send help to them, both the Skua Empire and the United Nation of Leopard Seals will attack us. That would spell doom for our country.
  • Norton's advisor: Any ideas, sir?
  • Norton III: Nope.

A stranger in a black coat walks down a hallway, and knocks on the door of Norton's chamber.

  • Norton III: Come in.

The stranger walks in, and reveals himself to be no other than the infamous Willy on Wheels.

  • Norton III: This, is, madness?!
  • W.O.W.: Nope, I'm not here to fight. My vandalism powers were taken away. I've come to warn you about--

A tranquilizer dart hits Willy on Wheels in the thigh and he passes out instantly. There is no one behind him, but suddenly a rope tightens around Norton's neck.

  • Cockney man: Ya needn't worry abaht da bloomin' seals, empra. Ya already made a much more dang'rous enemy.

The rope is tightened even more and Norton falls over dead.

  • Cockney man: Goodbye, gov'na.

Fade to black.

Scene 10: Triple sharp

edit

Double sharp and his army are walking along when they come across a dirty hobo warming his hands on a trashcan fire.

  • Hobo: 'Ello, gov'na! Care for a Cock Linnet by the bloomin' Jeremiah? Ya butcher's awful Potatoes in the mould.
  • Double sharp: I'm sorry sir, but your accent is very thick and I can't understand you.
  • Hobo: I'm Bobby ya can understand this!

The hobo snaps his fingers and several vandals surround Double sharp's army.

  • Double sharp: Oh yeah? EAT BULLETS, VANDALS!

The undead Wikipedians open fire. So do the vandals, but while the vandals go down after only one or two bullets, the Wikipedians, being (un)dead, are unaffected by bullets until they take enough hits to literally fall apart. Consequently, the vandals are slaughtered. Double sharp's army then turns their guns on the hobo, but although he takes dozens of hits, he remains unaffected, and each hit makes a CLANG! sound. Suddenly, the hobo's skin is torn off by the hail of bullets, showing that he is in fact a robot.

  • Double sharp: Die, Cockneybot!

The Wikipedians continue to fire, but the bullets make only dents in the Cockneybot's armor, and the Cockneybot reveals long, razor-sharp claws. He tears dozens of Wikipedians apart. Suddenly, an undead sniper with a McMillan Tac-50 shoots him in the chest. He staggers and grabs his chest but does not fall, and takes his hand away to reveal a small tear in his armor, with the bullet lodged in the tear. He yanks the bullet out and throws it at a Wikipedian.

  • Cockneybot: YA THINK THADDA' STOP ME?
  • Double sharp: Why yes, I do.

The Cockneybot roars and fires an RPG-7 at the sniper, completely obliterating him. Then, another undead Wikipedian walks around a corner with a rifle chambered in .950 JDJ. He fires once, and the Cockneybot's head shatters into fragments of metal and broken circuit boards. The undead Wikipedian is thrown onto his back and his collarbone and shoulder blade shattered by the impact, but due to being undead, he does not notice this. He works the bolt and fires at the staggering Cockneybot's chest. The bullet tears into the Cockneybot, which falls to the ground and does not move. Double sharp walks over to the shattered wreckage blown from the Cockneybot's chest. Suddenly, he exclaims in surprise and picks up a flash drive from the wreckage. It's right next to a USB port wired into what remains of the Cockneybot's chest.

  • Double sharp: Hmm, this looks interesting. I'll have to check this out later. *walks slowly out of scene, now and then looking around for vandals*

Scene 11: Discovery of the Secret Vandal Base #1

edit

Camera follows Double sharp. Occasionally vandals jump in front of him, which he immediately kills with his sword. Suddenly, he sees a hole in the ground below him.

  • Double sharp: What the hell?
  • Voice: Hi.
  • Double sharp: (draws sword. suddenly grows in stature and takes appearances of random medieval knight or something) Who the heck art thou?
  • Voice: (LOLs) (appears taking on Jimbo's shape)
  • Double sharp: (back to normal) Ah, it's good to see you. Anything new?
  • Fake Jimbo: Yes, actually. Just look in the hole, you'll see.
  • Double sharp: Huh? I just did.
  • Fake Jimbo: Look again! There's something new down there.
  • Double sharp: Well, OK... (Fake Jimbo kicks him, sending him flying into the hole) Hey! What on...
  • Fake Jimbo: This is. (takes off Jimbo costume, revealing himself to be Vandal 1)
  • Double sharp: (long bleep)
  • Vandal 1: It's a long way down. Enjoy the effects of gravity. Ha ha ha ha. (teleports away)
  • Double sharp: (looks down) What an idiot. He ought to have picked a shallower hole. (activates parachute) (lands)

He enters a brightly lit cavern, surrounded by walls.

  • Double sharp: Hmmm. What is this? ... Undead Wikipedians? Where are you?

The two remaining undead Wikipedians fall down.

  • Double sharp: I may have to alter my strategies. For now... (brings out flask and pours contents onto undead Wikipedians)... I'll just revive you first. It'll lose your advantage in combat, but at least I'll be able to give you clearer instructions.
  • Wikipedians 1 and 2: Hey, thanks!
  • Double sharp: Don't mention it.
  • Wikipedian 2: Hey, where the **** is my right hand? And how did I get all these scars AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Double sharp: Side effect of being undead and attacking and not feeling any pain?
  • Wikipedian 2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA how the heck am I going to type AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Double sharp: *sigh* I would think you were an expert in overcoming such situations, looking at your preferred WikiProjects...
  • Wikipedian 2: Yes, but I...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...am dominant on my REMAINING hand...
  • Double sharp: *sigh* May my allies save me from these illogical weirdos *kills Wikipedian 2, for real this time* OK, you can go back to being dead.
  • Wikipedian 1: Hey! That's not fair! By Article No. 125(c)(k)(I LIKE PIE), all formerly undead Wikipedians must receive...
  • Double sharp: Shut up. *kills him*
  • Wikipedian 1: AAAAAAAAAAAA *dies, for real this time*
  • Double sharp: Their behaviour is disturbing. (searches their corpses)

He comes up with a brain implant in each of them, marked in shimmering copper-coloured letters DING. He pockets them.

  • Double sharp: (walks around in circles) This is getting more and more interesting. Now how the heck do I get out of here?

The four walls move around, making an exit to the east.

  • Double sharp: Well, that ought to do. *walks east*

Suddenly, vandals are heard attacking him. He fights, but is unable to overcome what must be 40 vandals at the least. After killing 30 of them, he gets tired and is captured and brought to an iron cell deep in the vandal fortress. The vandals lock him in and melt down the key before teleporting away. Illumination is provided by a single torch.

  • Double sharp: I'm not sure if this is a good situation to be in or not. But then... (looks around suspiciously) I know you're listening. I know you're listening. ... (looks around) Hmm.

Camera zooms upward to the control room just below surface level, where vandals are looking scared.

  • Vandal 1: How does he know? HOW DOES HE KNOW?
  • Vandal 2: Forget that, what on Uncyclopedia possessed you to kick him into THAT hole...
  • Vandal 3: Enough. He is captured. What can he do?
  • Vandal 2: I don't feel good about this.
  • Vandal 1: Hey, what the hell is he examining? *zooms in* *looks archly at Vandal 4* You mean to tell me that you're so incredibly stupid that you didn't take his loot from him before locking him up?
  • Vandal 4: I'm sorry, he was being too uncooperative...
  • Vandal 1: Well, I want you to go down there NOW and retrieve it from him. Don't let him escape though.
  • Vandal 2: Actually, we can't.
  • Vandal 1: WHAT IS THIS, INSUBORDINATION?!?!??!!!?
  • Vandal 3: No, really, we can't.
  • Vandal 1: And may I know why?
  • Vandal 4: Uh...because we melted down the key for security purposes and don't have a replacement?
  • Vandal 2: Seriously, that has to be the dumbest question I've ever heard.
  • Vandal 1: Sorry. Well, at least we know it can't get OUT...
  • Vandal 2: Or so you think.
  • Vandal 1: What, do you have any contradicting evidence? No? Then shut up. Bye, have a nice day. *shoves Vandals 2, 3, and 4 out of the room and slams and locks door*

Double sharp smirks, then blows his nose. He picks up a micro-walkie-talkie out of the mucus, wipes it off, extends an aerial, and whispers into it.

  • Double sharp: Look for a giant hole. There will be a Jimbo standing by it. He is fake—kill him. Then walk three miles east, one mile north, and blow up the ground at that spot. Drop down into the vandal control room and kill everyone you see.

Another army of undead walks around the corner towards the fake Jimbo.

  • Fake Jimbo, Vandal 5 this time: Why, hello, fellow Wikipe—AAGH!

The undead Wikipedians open fire and kill him instantly. They then walk to the location Double sharp specified, and plant 15 kilograms of ONC there. They detonate it, destroying the ones who set it off but also blowing a hole in the roof. Vandals scream as the other undead jump down.

  • Vandal 1: WTF IS HAPPENING? *is killed by an undead Wikipedian*

The undead Wikipedians kill everyone else in he room, then shoot out the lock on the door. Vandals 2 thru 4 scream as they are messily killed offscreen.

Double sharp then takes out his special tungsten carbide drill. The iron bars of his cell are no match for it.

  • Double sharp: All right, now enter the hole in the ground and follow the eastern tunnel. I will meet you in that region. Let's take out some vandals together.

The undead Wikipedians run-march to the hole and jump in. Being undead and being equipped with parachutes, they are completely unhurt. They storm the eastern tunnel and, together with Double sharp, raze the vandal fortress to the ground and loot all the electronic equipment.

  • Double sharp: Now to take all this stuff for analysis. Let's get out of here.

Finding that he has lost his jetpack in the fight, he grabs 50 to 60 AK-47s (looted from the dead vandals), glues them to a stick, tapes down their triggers with help from the undead Wikipedians, and stands on the stick and flies out into the sky. Camera follows him into a highland elevated almost 600 m from the surrounding land, with sheer cliffs on all sides. The southern (where he is flying over) and northern sides are barren and filled with dangerous vandalbots, but flying high, he escapes detection. The western and eastern sides are not seen on the camera. He grabs the improvised jetpack and jumps into a lake and sneaks into a side passage in it. He then blocks the flow of the water and walks further along the specially constructed tunnel before arriving at a golden gate to his secret anti-vandal fortress. He mutters an inaudible password. The gate opens noiselessly for him and he enters his base, full of electronic vandal-detectors, automated bots, other high-tech stuff, a dark staircase leading to a secret analysis lab, and eight-pointed stars liberally painted everywhere. He goes to the left and down the dark staircase, steps over the twenty-third step, and the blue door opens to the huge lab. He enters. The camera does not follow, but he obviously is analysing the loot. The undead Wikipedians are now followed by the camera; they turn right to a barracks-like area and something resembling a military HQ. Triumphant music plays upon his arrival at his fortress.

  • Double sharp: (mutters off camera) "We can, because we have no choice". Hmm... shall that be our new resistance motto?

Scene 12: Aboard the Mothership

edit

Whoop Whoop and Spotfin are desparately fighting off the leopard seals in the Mothership's hangar. They are almost out of ammunition, and although dozens of soldiers lie dead before them, the Leopard Seals still pour in.

  • Whoop Whoop pull up: This is not going well! Their guns are ID locked, so we can't use them.
  • Mothership P.A.: Activating neurotoxin gas.

A faint green gas starts coming out of the air vents.

  • Whoop Whoop pull up: AS IF WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS ALREADY!
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Hey, what does this button do?

SpotFin presses a blue button near the back of the hangar. Suddenly, the whole entire back wall of the hangar starts moving down. Everyone and everything in the area starts to get sucked into space.

  • Whoop Whoop pull up: HOLY CRAP!

All of the Leopard Seal soldiers fly out into space and explode, since their suits are not pressurized. In addition, the aircraft also get sucked out. Whoop Whoop and SpotFin barely avoid getting sucked into the void of space.

  • Whoop Whoop pull up: Shoot, they're gone, but we're stuck here.
  • Sergeant Spotfin: I don't know, maybe we should take some chances? Our suits are pressurized.
  • Whoop Whoop pull up: Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Both Whoop and SpotFin jump into space. They float around for a few minutes, but eventually, they get too close to the Earth and start descending into the atmosphere.

  • Whoop Whoop pull up: Are our suits rated for atmospheric entry?
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Well, let's find out.

Slowly, they begin to accelerate. Due to the lack of atmosphere at these altitudes, they keep accelerating until they reach truly terrifying speeds.

  • Whoop Whoop pull up: This is the sort of time when you just think "What possessed us to try this?"
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Hey, we're reentering the atmosphere. Activate the heat shields. And, oh, we'll start decelerating about now.

Seconds pass and their speed once again falls to safer levels. Suddenly, Whoop's suit seems to develop a mind of its own, and a seal abruptly closes over the glass of her helmet.

  • Whoop whoop pull up: Great, this suit appears to have realized that I'm not a vandal.
  • Sergeant SpotFin: What?
  • Whoop whoop pull up: I can't see a thing out of this *bleeped*. If neurotoxins come out of this, I shall not be amused.

Green gas appears in her helmet

  • Whoop whoop pull up: And indeed, I am not amused. Fortunately, *throws off helmet* we are now at sufficiently low altitude that this isn't going to kill me.

She and SpotFin open their parachutes. She looks upwards and admires the gas trail from the helmet through its trajectory down into oblivion.

  • Sergeant SpotFin: All right, it looks like we're going to land safely.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: I hope that's the whole news.
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Unfortunately for you, we also happen to be landing in the Atlantic Ocean.
  • Whoop whoop pull up: *long bleep*

Splashes are seen

  • Whoop whoop pull up: *pulls head over surface* OK, now what do we do?
  • Sergeant SpotFin: *Checks coordinates* We could possibly just go back to Tampa City from here, seeing the low distance...
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Well, on the positive side, we have somebody there sympathetic to our cause. On the negative side, we have about another 500,000,000 people there who aren't. It seems like just a minor drawback.
  • Sergeant SpotFin: Indeed. *swims away*
  • Whoop whoop pull up: Hey! Wait! Aaaargh. *activates pocket submarine and follows*

Fade to black.

Scene 13: The SeaBus

edit

Whoop whoop and Sergeant SpotFin are in the Atlantic Ocean. Suddenly a submarine appears.

  • Whoop whoop pull up: What was that? It almost hit my pocket sub!

She swims to the submarine and gives it the finger.

  • Whoop whoop: This looks familiar. Wait a sec...This is the Germans' U-boat!

The hatch of the submarine opens and Committed, in a diving suit, steps out.

  • Whoop whoop: What? Who's there?

Committed makes a "come" gesture and they enter the submarine. Whoop whoop gets out of her pocket sub.

  • Whoop whoop: Committed, my good friend! Where did you get the U-boat?
  • Committed: I borrowed this from the Germans. Welcome to the SeaBus, my friends!

The scene cuts to the Germans tied to a tree with their bot, the Maschinemensch.

  • Committed: Like some tea?
  • Whoop whoop: No, thanks.
  • Committed: Where to, my dudes?
  • Whoop whoop: Tampa City.
  • Committed: I know Florida pretty well. Buckle up because Kansas is going bye bye.
  • SpotFin: What does that even mean?

The SeaBus sails into the distance.

  • SpotFin: Are you sure that heading to Tampa City is a good idea? Last I heard, it was in ruins. We need to get to Wikipedian territory.
  • Whoop whoop: And your idea of getting to Wikipedian territory is?
  • SpotFin: (sigh) Fine. Let's head there. Hopefully we won't be mobbed by vandals the moment we step ashore.

Scene 14: All hands on deck!

edit

Cut to the conference room of the leopard seal Mothership.

  • Crew member: General BigTooth, there was a fight in the hangar of the ship. We fought 2 lone combatants for quite a while, and we almost won too, but they opened the airlock and vented half of our security forces into space. There's no sign of them now.
  • General BigTooth: Well isn't this just great!! We've lost a good deal of men. What happened to that delegate that I sent for?
  • Crew member: Dead, sir. We found him in a computer room with a knife in his back and a bullet in his head.
  • General BigTooth: What about SpotFin?
  • Crew member: Missing, sir.
  • Vandal delegate 2: This is quite a revelation. Well, you've proved to us your incompetence. If you cannot guard your ship and fight just one intruder, what makes you think we'll believe in the quality of your forces? Your ability to command those forces? Well, tis' a pity. The deal has been rescinded. We will be leaving immediately.
  • King EyeFrost: Hey, come back here! You can't possibly judge our military based on one altercation!
  • Vandal delegate 2: Heh heh heh, you don't realize it, don't you? It wasn't just a single incident. Your failure at Bagel Hill cast doubt on your ability already. This just confirmed it. Again, we will be off. Good bye.

The delegates each take out a mysterious device from their pockets. They activate them, and they are teleported from the ship in a blinding flash of light.

  • General BigTooth: Why did they leave so quickly? Couldn't they have taken the shuttle that they came here with?
  • King EyeFrost: I wonder why....

Their thoughts are interrupted by the lights in the room going out.

  • General BigTooth: What was that? Did our power supply just go out?

The PA system starts up again.

  • Unknown voice: Greetings. I've taken the liberty of hacking your systems and gaining root access to every single computer in this ship. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll shut off the life support. Your ship will be far more useful to our goals without you in the way.

The life support gets shut down with an audible sound. It suddenly becomes very cold, and the air starts to thin. BigTooth and EyeFrost don emergency vacuum suits from a nearby locker as they analyze the situation.

  • King EyeFrost: Who the heck was that? It didn't sound like a penguin, and Wikipedians wouldn't try these kinds of things.
  • General BigTooth: Have....we been double crossed? It didn't sound like the vandals were particularly interested in the alliance. The time we spent talking to them would be plenty enough to hijack all the systems on the ship. Gah, I should have thought of that. Well, no use worrying about that now. The ship's no longer in our control, so we should probably get out of it before somebody discovers the neurotoxin systems.

They run through the ship to find the escape pods. The only ones active are the emergency lights. It's eerily quiet as they float through the lifeless hallways.

  • General BigTooth: There are the escape pods! I hardwired the system to prevent anybody from locking them out, so we should be fine. Let's get out of there now.

They both enter the escape pods and activate them. They drop out of the ship and start descending into Earth's atmosphere.

  • King Eyefrost: Where's the ship heading now? They're activating the cannons.
  • General BigTooth: Uh oh...
  • King Eyefrost: What?
  • General BigTooth: They're headed for the Spotted City!

Scene 15: Armageddon

edit

Cut to a darkly lit room. A man is typing on a computer as a supervisor looks on.

  • Unknown man: Alright, I'm plotting a course to the Spotted City. What do you want me to do once the ship gets there?
  • Unknown guy: Once you're there, set up the main cannons. I'll give you a set of coordinates- once the cannons are charged up, point them there and fire until the whole entire area is a molten crater.
  • Unknown man: There are hundreds of thousands of civilians there! You can't possibly annihilate a third of the city! What about our Skua allies?
  • Unknown guy: Patience, young one. The Skuas are rather...disposable. Two of our greatest annoyances are at those coordinates. We take them out, and it'll be worth every single "innocent" life lost.
  • Unknown man: Won't the Skuas wonder why we destroyed a big portion of their army? We don't want them to turn against us.
  • Unknown guy: Don't worry. We've planned this out. Think about it: who exactly is this ship supposed to belong to? Knowing that, they can't possibly blame us for any damage incurred.
  • Unknown man: Well.....if you say so. Sigh, inputting coordinates.... I just don't feel comfortable wiping part of a civilization off of the map.
  • Unknown guy: Don't let it get to your head. Besides, they're rioters....all of them.

Cut to the mothership in space. Large railguns deploy from the bottom of the ship, and they start charging with an ominous blue glow. The camera then switches to a view of Thekillerpenguin and Brambleberry fighting off the Skua Empire and the rioters in the Spotted City.

  • Thekillerpenguin: Gah, these stupid Skuas just won't stop.
  • Brambleberry of Riverclan: Yeah. I wonder how long our supplies will last. Wait....what's that in the sky?

They retreat to cover and gaze at the sky above. TKP zooms in with his visor binoculars, and sees a faint blue glow in the sky.

  • Thekillerpenguin: Something's up. Let me ping the North Star- it's been abandoned right now, but the systems should be intact enough to give me a radar sweep.
  • Brambleberry of Riverclan: The North Star? How are you going to contact a celestial body?
  • Thekillerpenguin: Long story short, it's an ancient penguin space station. It looks like a star from here, but it really isn't. Hold on, I'm getting the results back. I'll make it into a hologram so we can both see it.

A hologram is projected from TKP's visor. It shows a 3D model of a large spaceship. One that looks oddly familiar.

  • Thekillerpenguin: What in the world.....
  • Brambleberry of Riverclan: What is it?
  • Thekillerpenguin: That's the largest spaceship in the Leopard Seal fleet! It's aiming the main cannons right at us! WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE, NOW!

The duo rapidly run away from the area. Brambleberry runs on all fours at full speed, while TKP activates his leg motors. The Skua troops and rioters stand in place, puzzled at the sight of their greatest opponents running away in fear.

  • Leopard Seal #16: So...we won?
  • Skua aircraft pilot: I guess so. What were they so scared of?

They see a rapidly advancing column of light descending from the atmosphere. Half a second later, everyone present hears a massive crack of thunder, and at the end of the second, everything in the area has become ash.

==Scene 16: The Aftermath== This is part of Scene 15 by the way.

Meanwhile in Tampa City two IPs are near the city when they see a column of light to the east.

  • IP 1: What was that?
  • IP 2: I do not know.

But then all of the world hears a massive crack of thunder. Meanwhile in the Spotted City the heroes have lost the war and the city is being rebuilt by magic people. Then everything goes back to 2 minutes ago.

Scene 17: Ding has a beer and the Dwarfs take the Irish Wikipedia

edit
  • Ding: Vandalism has won out! Beer everyone!
  • Vandals: Woo hoo!
  • Vandal 1: Shit! The German Wikipedian Army is invading!
  • ClueBotNG: (in the distance) Revert. No swearing.
  • Vandal 1: Shut up, stupid bot.

Vandal 1 fires a Desert Eagle out the window. Then he turns to the other vandals.

  • Vandal 1: They're gathering thousands and thousands of troops! We're steamed!
  • Vandal 6: Do you mean the bots or the German Wikipedians?
  • Vandal 1: The Germans, you bozo!

Vandal 1 shoots Vandal 6 with his Desert Eagle.

Cut to a room with the Wikimedia Deutschland logo on a wall.

  • Clerk: (on phone) We are going to enter Tampa City in triumph!
  • Unknown: When is the date?
  • Clerk: Friday the 3rd.

Cut to the Irish Wikipedia where a battle between dwarves and Irish Wikipedians is about to begin. King Thorin is pumping up his troops before the battle.

Thorin: Kinsmen to me! All of you we will defeat the Irish Wikipedia to take its gold and survive in these dark days for our kind. We will take back our homeland but only after we take the Irish Wikipedia. ALL HAIL KING THORIN!

Dwarfs: ALL HAIL KING THORIN! ALL HAIL THE KING!

Cue the Lord of the Rings music. A Irish soldier is hit by an arrow and killed. Pan over to the grinning dwarf who shot him. The dwarf's grin vanishes as he sees something.

Irish Jimbo walks onto the battlefield, accompanied with his chief advisor Irish Whoop whoop pull up. They approach King Thorin.

Irish Jimbo bows his head.

Irish Jimbo: Your Majesty Thorin, I surrender to you. It is clear that I am not going to win against your army of 1,000 dwarfs. I have only eighty soldiers on my side. Thorin, I declare you the leader of the Irish Wikipedia.

Thorin: I accept that, Jimbo. Do you have any objections, Whoop whoop pull up?

Irish Whoop whoop pull up: No objections. We cannot win. We surrender ownership of the armies and Founder privileges to you.

Thorin and his troops enter the Irish capital city of Dublin in triumph. But then Thorin and his troops are all killed by multiple rocket launcher explosions.

The smoke clears to reveal Irish Jimbo and Irish Whoop whoop pull up shielding their faces with their arms. They slowly lower their arms and realize their new leader is dead.

Irish Jimbo: Now what?

Scene 18: The Great Betrayal

edit

Jimbo and his generals are camping out for the night. It is a huge desert.

Jimbo: King Henrich V, what will happen once we enter Tampa City?

Henrich V: We will kill everyone who opposes us and the Tampa...

Jimbo: You're planning to kill the Tampans. You must be our enemy.

Henrich V nods and smiles.

Henrich V: Well done, Jimbo. We are working for the Vandals. We help them in their goals.


TO BE CONTINUED IN: THE SEVENTH WIKIPEDIA MOVIE (TITLE PENDING)

Main End Credits

edit

Soundtrack

edit
Wikipedia I: The Movie Wikipedia II: The Users Strike Back Wikipedia III: Revenge of Jimbo Wikipedia IV: Attack of the Vandals Wikipedia V: Brambleberry's Journey Wikipedia VI: The Last Editor Rogue Vandal: A Wikipedian Story
Wikipedia: The Musical

Movies in bold are completed; movies in italics are still under construction.

Spinoffs:

None