User:WBritten/Fools

1 April 2015

16:00, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

... that the front of Alex Chinneck's house (pictured) seems to have slipped?
... that the French paid their soldiers in playing cards?
... that some Top Totty was removed from the House of Commons after complaints from a shadow?
... that 71 is 3 miles (4.8 km) long?
... that Knightrider premièred in London in 1322?
... that James II lay on his back for a year amid grass and weeds after he was overthrown to make way for Edward VII?
... that Nick Clegg is sorry?
... that the existence of a sea monster in Scotland has finally been proven?
... that Dr. Young's Ideal Rectal Dilators were forcibly withdrawn after officials clamped down on them?

08:00, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

... that you've just lost The Game?
... that in April 2013, a giant alien landed on its head in central London?
... that feminist artists invented the WEB in 1971?
... that a half-naked fakir has taken up residence near Winston Churchill?
... that the sound of a fruit beetle served as "the popular face of Hinduism"?
... that even balls of kryptonite are no protection from the U.S. Federal Trade Commission?
... that the BBC is taking liberties with Parliament?
... that the Crown Prince of Thailand once owned Air Chief Marshal Fufu?
... that God is a billionaire property developer?

1 April 2014

16:00, 1 April 2014 (UTC)

... that in the late 19th century, those academics who used the letters "F.S.Sc." after their names had been duped by a "bogus literary society" (emblem pictured)?
... that Emily Lakdawalla of The Planetary Society has identified places where Martian drones can land on Earth?
... that I believe I'll dust my broom?
... that Batman once sued the Commissioner?
... that the Queen of Hell was Jamaican?
... that Microsoft made a man dress up in drag and dance in front of women to promote The Idolmaster 2?
... that Amy Garnett is English rugby's most-capped female hooker?
... that Utopia existed?

08:00, 1 April 2014 (UTC)

... that 16th-century artillery master Franz Helm proposed using "rocket cats" (pictured) to attack castles?
... that a Little Cockup is smaller than a Great Cockup?
... that scientists observed an echo that lasted 65 years?
... that Caucasians are brown?
... that the idea of Santa Claus being shot can be "hilarious"?
... that it is illegal to wear armour in the British Parliament?
... that the novel Southern Cross does not contain any words?
... that William Wallace died inside the Rock of Gibraltar after falling off his bicycle?

1 April 2013

16:00, 1 April 2013 (UTC)

... that Norwegians built Gibraltar's first school (pictured) in the 1860s?
... that Shitterton has been voted to be worse than Scratchy Bottom or Brokenwind?
... that Siemens is in Püssi?
... that the Aetherius Society believes that their sacred 1,375-foot (419 m) Brown Willy is full of holy energy?
... that Elvis' greatest shit was dropped in 1982?
... that students at Washington College celebrate May Day by running naked around the flag pole on the campus green?
... that Mugeary, which is 25 miles from Glenelg in Scotland, is the namesake of a rock found millions of miles away but just a few hundred feet from Glenelg?
... that James Bond played briefly in the National Football League after completing his military service?
... that sheep enjoy snacking on Pecorino?

08:00, 1 April 2013 (UTC)

... that Polish girls (pictured) are getting wet and spanked today, but will have their revenge tomorrow?
... that a Lady twin produced a Bachelor's Double?
... that Wikipedia was discovered in 2008 between Mars and Jupiter?
... that a Norwegian organization established a women's fart team?
... that Chrisye performed a new song, "Eternal Ballad", five years after his death?
... that some schmuck tried to get the U.S. Supreme Court to let him off for mail fraud because all he did was roll back odometers?
... that the voice of blood is violet and makes no sound?
... that National Hockey League goaltender Sam LoPresti murdered a dolphin to save 28 men?
... that happiness is Dean Martin?

1 April 2012

16:00, 1 April 2012 (UTC)

... that the opening of Eston railway station (pictured in 1902) enabled passengers to travel from Middlesbrough, England, to California in only 15 minutes?
... that Mr Grumpy was once bombed by the Americans?
... that Frank Lloyd Wright designed a dog house—and even its roof leaks?
... that ever since coming between neighbours, Funzie Girt has run almost the length of a Scottish island?
... that an Italian Protestant fathered The Virgin Mary in 1950?
... that T. vagina have eyes hidden behind their skin?
... that the City of Rio de Janeiro is located in San Francisco Bay?
... that Mr. Santoso was the first female cabinet member in Indonesian history?
... that a gang leader was executed by lethal injection for the crimes of assaulting tourists and breaking into their cars to steal food?

08:00, 1 April 2012 (UTC)

... that in 2009, the urinal known as "The Carousel of Love" (pictured), a well known place for gay cruising, was declared a Norwegian Cultural Heritage Site?
... that a fish in a fishbowl is in a fish?
... that if you want to talk to the anal it helps to speak their language?
... that the United States once fought 32 tons of shark fins, and the fins won?
... that a Baker went into outer space with sea urchin sperm, later receiving a rubber duck and many bananas for her efforts?
... that a Roman Catholic priest got five Super Bowl rings with the 49ers?
... that Nuns can fly at high altitudes?
... that red hot penises can be pickled, but it is recommended one not eat them?
... that people have cut off arms and legs because of Gigli?

1 April 2011

16:00, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

... that the Australian government requires high-risk sex workers to wear full-face respirators (example pictured)?
... that Ntrepid was paid $2.76 million by the U.S. military to create sock puppets?
... that Batman is half female?
... that nesting is not used by breeding Mute Swans but they do use this thing?
... that Robert Tappan Morris was convicted of a crime for releasing a worm?
... that Dr. Who's parents are Brazilians from a family known for pineapples?
... that even small amounts of dead cat can explode when heated?
... that Europe was ruled by a child during the American Revolutionary War?
... that a typical Labia minor is chocolate brown, up to 7 mm long, and equipped with pincers?

08:00, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

... that there is a desk full of candy (pictured) on the floor of the US Senate?
... that Rudyard Kipling's final resting place is at the bottom of the sea off the coast of Ireland?
... that recent quantum chemical calculations have established that arsoles are only moderately aromatic?
... that St. Joseph has been in Egypt since 1852?
... that in 2010, three survivors of the Titanic were rescued by the USCGC Chincoteague?
... that a real Bastard commanded Africa in the nineteenth century?
... that a species of crab, Tumidotheres maculatus, has been found living on an asteroid?
... that ice cream grows in Florida?

1 April 2010

18:00, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

... that Cliffe Castle Museum in Keighley, Yorkshire, boasts a wife-soothing cradle (pictured)?
... that Bertie Ahern speaks Bertiespeak?
... that humpbacked elves are rarely seen because their bodies are microscopic?
... that Lindbergh raced an airplane from Washington to New York in under three hours, without ever leaving the ground?
... that Robert Louis Stevenson took a pew from South Leith Parish Church?
... that Elvis is still alive and teaching soccer at Neil McNeil Catholic Secondary School?
... that the first Territorial Governor of Montana, Sidney Edgerton, fought as a Squirrel Hunter during the American Civil War?
... that T. rex survives underground in Kenya?
... that two Irish singers described as "tone deaf", and as "not very good" by British prime minister Gordon Brown, have been recently cited as more popular than The Beatles?

12:00, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

... that the materials used in the production of a Škoda Fabia car (pictured) in 2007 included margarine and orange sugar paste?
... that Tom Cruse was awarded the Medal of Honor for gallantly charging hostile Indians?
... that the cod Yorkshire dialect, one on't cross beams gone owt askew on treadle, in Monty Python's "Trouble at Mill" sketch actually means something?
... that Guinness Black Lager is a new black lager which is being test marketed in Malaysia by Diageo for sale in the west under its Guinness brand name?
... that the yellow morel was once a Phallus?
... that Leonid Malashkin was the true composer of Kodály's "Buttocks-Pressing Song"?
... that in October 1968, Dumbo was arrested in Las Palmas, Spain?
... that Wikipedia covers the whole shebang?
... that Perth, Western Australia, got rid of ugly men in 1948?

06:00, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

... that Ruth Belville (pictured) and her parents had a business selling people Greenwich Mean Time?
... that the Prada Store in Marfa, Texas, is never open?
... that Professor Dirk Obbink is an expert on material from garbage heaps and charred remains?
... that the Ilkley Museum in Yorkshire, England, is a notable habitat for Brunus edwardii?
... that the American television show Glee was written with the aid of Screenwriting for Dummies?
... that Frank Hansford-Miller, founder of the English National Party, emigrated to Australia?
... that "Everything in Sussex is a She except a Tom Cat and she's a He"?
... that buttock mail was a form of punishment for fornication, an alternative to the stool of repentance?
... that William Shakespeare was nicknamed "The Merchant of Menace"?

1 April 2009

22:16, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

This picture is for illustrative purposes only and does not show the actual toenail clippings in question, which are believed to be lost to history, if they ever existed.

... that Adam de Stratton was arrested for the possession of toenail clippings (example pictured)?
... that a team of archaeologists discovered a fossilized Han Solo in the rocks of China?
... that Theodore Majocci claimed the Princess of Wales slept with her butler?
... that it took two German submarines, UB-6 and UB-16, to dispatch two World War I Royal Navy recruits?
... that the Massachusetts House of Representatives refused to legislate until the Sacred Cod of Massachusetts was rescued from cod-nappers?
... that Lewis Hamilton's first name was "Sasbeck"?
... that the Land of Green Ginger can be seen through the world's smallest window?
... that track and field star Bob Backus, who set world records in the hammer throw, wore ballet slippers while competing?
... that HBO television network broadcast midgets racing for prizes in a chili bowl?

16:07, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

... that a 1631 Bible (frontispiece pictured) commanded readers to commit adultery?
... that Sonia Chang-Díaz won a seat in the Massachusetts Senate after her opponent was accused of stuffing her bra?
... that in 1825, the Court of Exchequer declared all contracts by hobbits illegal and void in England?
... that if you go to a local store three weeks from today, you can probably find Asher Roth asleep in the bread aisle?
... that Caviar, Chardonnay, and Hot Cocoa compete for the love of Ray J?
... that baseball Hall of Famer Rogers Hornsby had his first plate appearance against King Lear?
... that both Egypt and the Holy Land were originally settled by Germans?
... that Sir Winston Churchill competed in the Tall Ships Race with an all-female crew?
... that Wikipedia now has an article about everything?

08:06, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Big Nose George

... that after Wild West outlaw Big Nose George (pictured) was hanged by a lynch mob, he was made into a pair of shoes?
... that New England used to be part of the Roman Empire, and China is still part of Japan?
... that Gordon Brown and Kim Jong-Il are both known for their athletic abilities?
... that Sparkie Williams is still singing from his grave 47 years after his death?
... that Peter Jackson medaled in table tennis for New Zealand?
... that in Disney's animated film The Story of Menstruation, the flow is snow white?
... that the idea of a two hooded coat to keep your date dry in the rain is genius?
... that sightings of Captain Cook were common around New Zealand as late as the 1950s?
... that two monkeys are employed as waiters at the Japanese Kayabukiya Tavern?

1 April 2008

13:01, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

...that the 24 Hours of LeMons includes such penalties as tarring and feathering a racer's car and crushing a car via audience vote (crushing of a car pictured)?
...that John F. Kennedy was shot dead in an ambush by government agents who had foreknowledge of his whereabouts?
...that in a few villages and towns of southern France and Spain it is illegal to die, and that there are attempts to have the same law in a town in Brazil?
...that Weber kettle grills were actually made out of buoys cut in half?
...that men are able to be insured against alien impregnation?
...that Ben Affleck died while shoveling snow outside of his house, leaving behind an unexpectedly small estate speculated to be worth as little as US$20,000?
...that American entrepreneur Timothy Dexter defied the popular idiom and actually made a profit when he sold coal to Newcastle?
...that six latrines at Black Moshannon State Park in Pennsylvania are listed on the National Register of Historic Places?