Being serious here would be foolish; as surely no one even comes across this page. And since I have been told that userboxes make you awesome;

ASThis user has Asperger syndrome.
#This user chats on IRC.
This user uses µTorrent.
This user is a roadgeek.
This user is a railfan.
This user is fascinated by Sharks!
This user is interested in maps.
ØThis user is a recluse.
IBSThis user has IBS.
IQ This user's Intelligence Quotient is 147 .
This user identifies as pansexual.
agThis user identifies as androgynous.
This user enjoys cross-dressing.
This user believes in Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.