Self Portrait

Madeline Michelet Eyer, born in May 1997, in Maryland, town unknown. Her name was given to her so no one would be able to pronounce it correctly. At a young age she was very shy, she spent the first 6 months of her preschool career not speaking, and when she did they threw a party for her. As she grew she remained quiet, so quiet that they put her picture in the dictionary under the word quiet for her, as it was a more accurate description than the actual definition. As she grew so did her appearance. With strawberry blonde hair people often told her to read the bible to get the ginger out of her. She has been 5’6 since 6th grade which lead to some awkward moments and was often called big foot by her classmates and mostly, her brat of an older brother. Madeline’s interests were also as interesting as her. She enjoys light taxidermy, swimming with Michael Phelps, and painting portraits of butts. Strictly baboon butts of course. Her favorite color is orange, like a sunset orange, not a middle age orange county mom orange. Her favorite food is anything sweet. Like a chocolate cake or a small child. Some of Madeline’s nicknames are Maddie, Mads, Satan, brat, princess and that awkward lanky thing. Madeline only dates the finest of specimen. In fact she has a company called Eyer industries, their goal is to create the next generation of super beings. To do this Madeline can only date the best of the best so that her children will be basically Gods. Speaking of Gods Madeline only believes in one God and that is her dog Ted. Ted is a god and runs Madeline’s life. To find out more about this young pop star, you can find Maddie in her room, watching Criminal Minds, and eating chocolate dipped in peanut butter.