User:MaxwellSyd/sandbox

fourth paragraph

-Beginning with Dragon boat races are traditionally held as part of the annual Duanwu Festival or Duen Ng observance in China. Not understanding the significance of Duanwu, 19th-century European observers of the racing ritual referred to the spectacle as a "dragon boat festival".

-correction: are should be changed to were

- It should be added that dragon boat racing today is performed all over the world. It has kept many traditional practices, but not necessarily timed with Duan Wu. (This should be added to paragraph four)

History section

-Overall the history has facts, but is clouded by speculation. The whole third paragraph of this section starting with "Some Western..."should be taken out..it's not confirmed history.

-The next paragraph after that starting with " Traditional dragon boat..." keep that whole paragraph in

-Paragraph beginning with "This hot season.." deals with one custom not a general practice for dragon boating. Just clouds information. Take out entire paragraph

-Paragraph beginning with "Venerating the dragon..." keep it. It's good to have general factual information.

-Paragraph beginning with "Another ritual" is good and still practiced but 2nd sentence should omit VIP and be replaced with representative. This sentence can end at the word "paint." Take out made of the blood of a chicken.

Qu Yuan section

- The main legend of Qu Yuan can be abbreviated into a shorter story by keeping relevant information that has been passed down.

-Keep the first sentence "the main legend.." in the first paragraph. Take out the rest of the paragraph. Make the first sentence the beginning of the second paragraph.

-Take out third paragraph "In Qu's exile..."

-Fourth paragraph starting with "In the year 278.." keep. Take out sentences "The Qin and Chin Kingdom.." and "The word China."

- Keep Last three paragraphs

The Taiwanese finish line flags and flag pullers section

• This entire section can be taken out- obvious that there was not "photo finish" in that time-finishes for almost every sports event is were flag finishes

Crew section

-First paragraph is okay but, take out last sentence in the first paragraph "In the area around Tian..."

Drummer section

-First paragraph good keep it.

-Second paragraph beginning with "Good drummers should be able.." keep first sentence get rid of the rest of paragraph. No need to describe head winds, penalties etc.

-Eliminate third paragraph information is not necessary.

Paddlers section

-Keep first three paragraphs. Then there is a separate sentence that says "There are several components."

-1. Keep first sentence that starts with "The reach and catch..." end the sentence with "torso rotation" putting a period after rotation.

-Omit rest of paragraph

-Omit paragraph starting with "A common misunderstanding.."

-2. Keep the entire sentence

-3. Keep entire paragraph.

• 4. Keep only fourth sentence.

Paragraph after 4.

-Beginning with "A key aspect.." eliminate completely.

-Next paragraph beginning with "If paddlers are not." Eliminate whole paragraph.

-Keep last paragraph beginning with "Very experienced."

Sweep/steersman section

-Keep first paragraph beginning with "The sweep..."

-Omit second paragraph beginning with "The responses of the boat.."

-Keep third paragraph beginning with "The sweep must constantly.."

-Next two paragraphs can be omitted. Racing rules and incorrect terms are not necessary for general dragon boat information.

Racing section

-Keep first paragraph beginning with "Modern drain boat racing..."

-Keep second paragraph beginning with "A festival race."

-Take out next paragraph beginning with "There are some very long."

-Keep paragraph beginning with "The IDBF.." Keep the next sentence/paragraph beginning with "In 2005.."

-Keep next paragraph starting with "In 2006.."

-Keep all paragraphs up to chart. Keep the IDBF chart. For information concerning races because this is what dragon boat is about today and how it's being recognized and growing. This is where races are taking place.

International Festival Races Section

-This section can be eliminated in full. The chart has all the races and their organizations available for reference. Their is no need to go into each country and talk about every single race. From Canada to Australia all of section can be eliminated.

Organizations Recognition and Popular Culture Section

• First paragraph starting with "The established....take out the second sentence starting with "The international canoe...and take out next sentence starting with "Both organized."

-Continue paragraph with sentence starting "In 2007..."

-Take out second paragraph beginning with "The vast majority..."

-Third paragraph starting with "The IDBF..." stop at "criteria needed for IOC recognition."

-Omit next sentence starting with "Some national olympic.."

Eliminate next five paragraphs -"Dragonboating..." -"Although dragon boat..." -"Over the past five..." -"High profile..." -"The scouting movement.."

Dragon boating and Olympic torch relays section

-Keep entire paragraph.

Multi-sport games section

-Eliminate the entire section except keep the last paragraph beginning with "Today dragon boat.."

MaxwellSyd (talk)Sydney