Herero traditional wedding The husband to be or the groom’s family, traditionally the elders (uncles) are required to go ask the ladies hand in marriage three times. The parents of the husband, especially the uncles are the ones involved in the asking process. Normally the whole event takes place for a whole week, at the village or the bride’s place of origin, where the actual event or tying of the knot takes place for four days.
First of all you need to understand that the bride in Herero culture is regarded as sacred. That implies she must be treated as such. So, she must not be seen. Weeks before the wedding already, she must go in hiding. Totally covered up! No looking people in the eye, no taking off the veil, no speaking loudly! She stays in a little room with her "omutike"...that's the Herero word for an escort. This is a girl who is supposed to escort her on her trip to her new family. The norm is to drive directly from her homestead to the husband’s. The trip could even be 6 hours! What with not speaking loudly, she whispers whatever she needs to say to her escort. Imagine sitting bowed head for six hours! But after all is a great event, everyone is at peace, ladies are cooking and the men are sitting “momuvanda”, at the holy fire, cleansing the path of their daughter And as for the groom he gets to come only on a Friday, which is the day he arrives at the village of the bride. On that Friday, close to 5p.m the family members of the groom hand over the cow or the bride price to the uncles or the elders of the bride. The groom and his family members and friends are situated about a 100 meters away from the homestead of the bride to keep the two families separated until Saturday afternoon after the traditional dance danced by the elderly woman from both families. After the dance they are regarded as one family, the family of the groom can now visit the bride who is still under the veil sited and still in whisper. This is actually the best moment for the youth from both families; they mingle with each other and keep the fun going. As for the groom he only gets to see the bride in the evening when almost everyone is at sleep. Comes the Sunday, this is the most important day of the whole event, the main reason of the whole rituals; it is a day full of emotions, tears of joy and sadness. On this day the bride and the groom tie the knot. Before the bride is handed over to her husband the elders give them blessings and few words as guidance into this new life the will be living from that Sunday. After the groom and bride are now united, they stay about an hour or so before they start their journey to the bride’s new village (home) and family, the groom’s place of origin. If they arrive late in the evening, they do not sleep at the main homestead. The next day, which is a Monday, morning time around 10 a.m., the bride is taken to the Holy fire for the bride’s acceptance in the homestead by the ancestors. The bride is taken back inside the house, where she will be sited the rest of day and the groom can visit her from time to time, but the groom is sited with the elderly men where they talk and eat and just have fun the rest of day. On the other side of the homestead, the elderly woman are singing and dancing the traditional dances the whole day, while the youth or the young woman adults prepare traditional food like porridge and meat and the young men adults slaughter cows, goats and sheep. The newly married couples stay at the village at the main homestead approximately a week. And as for the rest, families and friends go back to their homes. The next day the bride is no longer hiding or covered with the veil, she is now regarded as any other family member.