Essentially, I need this page in order to feel that I exist.

Joseph Edward Sylvester Collard, named after his great uncle and taking his last name from the Latin word meaning "to explode," likes three things: Outside, root beer, and, most importantly, frame bombs. He is well suited to teach you about wild plants, especially Ohio edibles, cheese, logic, and absolutely everything known about frame bombs. Joseph is credited with the discovery of the awesome powers of frame bombs in 2004. He will fight to the death to defend Wikipedia's right and obligation to exist, so know your stuff before you accuse Wikipedia of flaws.

In all seriousness, I'm a junior in high school whose only credit comes from the immense load of time I spend working on my subjects, especially frame bombs, which I had a lion's share in developing.

http://www.framebomb.com