Jessdro is a notorious vandal, most famous for vandalising the pages Ashland, Massachusetts[1][2], Odor[3][4][5], and Christopher[6].
Personal life edit
The beginning edit
Jessdro was born October 28, 1889, in the deepest pits of Malebolge. He spent the first eighty-two years of his life suckling at the teat of his surrogate mother, Baphomet, his real mother having immolated herself and her child upon viewing the hermaphroditic abomination her womb had spewed forth. Baphomet instructed her foster child in all of the hellish planes' dark magicks. He soon learned all of the most malevolent techniques for murder and torture. However, Jessdro quickly tired of his home's torrid environment and bleak landscape. Upon the termination of his infant phase, he began the next step of his life cycle: the consumption of human souls to power his undead body. Jessdro is not a human, he is a being of hell, a soulless zombie, with no desire other than to wreak destruction upon the human beings he so virulently despises. You see, lacking a soul, Jessdro is incapable of empathizing with anyone other than himself. He is naught but a mere homonculus, a paltry imitation of humanity.
Sexual orientation edit
Trisexuality edit
Jessdro proclaims himself to be a trisexual. He yearns for the love of another to satisfy his raging lust. However, lacking fully functional genitalia, he will never experience the touch of a woman. Or man. Or dog. His attraction to animals can be easily explained by the fact that he is able to morph into the animal of his choice.
Coprophilia edit
Jessdro's vandalism to Odor[7] are almost certainly indicative of a poop fetish, which is pretty gross. I mean, come on. Just because you can't make it with a cocker spaniel doesn't mean you have to lather yourself up with— wait, this is getting unencyclopedic.
Drug habit edit
At any point, Jessdro may be:
- freebasing moonrocks
- snorting coke
- sipping on cannabis tea
- robotripping
- popping those blue and yellow purple pills
History on Wikipedia edit
Block edit
Jessdro was permanently blocked from editing on May 11 by Kafziel. After a period of uncharacteristically wordy and ass-kissy letter writing, he had the block lifted, under the condition that he never vandalise again.
Born-again editor edit
After block was lifted, Jessdro worked hard to establish himself as a respected member of the Wikipedia community. He has since made over five helpful edits, with all evidence indicating that he may soon make five more.
References edit
Jessdro's User Page
Jessdro's Butt
Jessdro's paltry contributions
