Jonathan Kirsch | |
|---|---|
 | |
| 51st President of the United States | |
| In office January 20, 2045 – January 20, 2053 | |
| Vice President | none, cuz imma tyrant bitchezzz |
| Personal details | |
| Born | Jonathan Roberto Kirsch February 2, 1992 Bedford, New Hampshire |
| Signature |  |
WAHUNKA! edit
"WAHUNKA" has its roots back in late 2004. I was riding in my dad's car up front while the two of us were on our way to the Hannaford by my house. It was December 24, Christmas Eve, and we needed to get something at the store last-minute. While we were stopped at a traffic light at the intersection to the road Hannaford sits on, my dad and I noticed a vanity license plate on the car in front of us. It read WAHUNKA. I didn't know what WAHUNKA meant, so I asked my dad, "Hey, look at that. Whaddya suppose it means?" My dad shrugged and said "I don't know... maybe it's like 'god bless you.'" I looked at him funny, but he went on, "You know, like *achoo*, 'God bless you', only it's *achoo*, 'WAHUNKA'." From that moment on, WAHUNKA always became the synonymous "god bless you" of my household... at least between my dad and I. My mom is a little reluctant to accept it...
Some recent (early 2007) sightings of the WAHUNKA license plate include the spotting of a black sedan with the famous plate. My friend Steve immediately recognized the plate and had his brother take a picture of it with his camera phone. Since then, no glimpses of the holy license plate have been reported.
Note: the correct spelling of WAHUNKA is W-A-H-U-N-K-A, all in caps. "WAHUNKA" is pronounced as "wa-HUN-ka". The appropriate answer whenever someone says "WAHUNKA" is "OOHAY", which I'll get into below.
OOHAY edit
"OOHAY" was created as a follow up to "WAHUNKA" in July of '05. I was at summer camp at the time, Camp Wah-Tut-Ca, and I was in the parking lot when I found an unusual license plate. It was a Massachusetts plate, not a New Hampshire one as WAHUNKA had been. It said OOHAY, originally pronounced "oo-HAY". So I wouldn't forget it over my week at camp, I assigned people "call signs" whenever we played games at camp, and I gave my friend Tommy the call sign of OOHAY. When I got home at the end of the week, I told my dad about the new plate, and suddenly a whole new dimension of substitute sneeze phrases took place. From that point on, we always answered a "WAHUNKA" with an "OOHAY". Over time, the pronunciation has flipped upon itself, and it is now spoken as "OO-hay".
There have been no recorded sightings of the OOHAY license plate since its inception into the Sneeze Saying Synonym Hall of Fame.
BOUJIWI edit
This plate rubbed off a bit weird. For months in early 2006 my friends Mike, Brett, and Steve pressured me to find a suitable replacement for "Excuse me" after one burps. I scoured the parking lots of my school to no avail. Somewhere along the line, I think at an intersection, I spotted a license plate that read BOUJY. I interpreted it as "BOO-gee", but I could be wrong. In any case, I tried to alter it to have the same syllable count as the phrase it replaced, just as all the others have (WAH-HUN-KA = god-bless-you, OO-HAY = Thank-you). So I tampered with it until I settled on "BOUJIWI", which has the same number of syllables and sounds like "Excuse me". It was popular with my friends, and they thanked me for it, but it soon fell into disuse.
WHOVIAN edit
This was the failure plate. I saw it and immediately thought "Hey, look! It's WHOVIAN! It's "You're welcome!" It seemed like a good idea; it had the syllables after all. But it just didn't stick, and after about a month of use, my dad and I declared the final Sneeze Saying defunct. *ACHOO* "WAHUNKA!" "OOHAY!" "WHOVIAN!" Now WHOVIAN is almost a forgotten memory.