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Template:Did you know nominations/When the Moon Was Full

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by  — Amakuru (talk) 15:08, 20 May 2019 (UTC)

DYK toolbox

When the Moon Was Full edit

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Iranian drama movie which is about terrorism
Iranian drama movie which is about terrorism

5x expanded by Forest90 (talk). Self-nominated at 17:58, 4 March 2019 (UTC).

  • 5x expansion verified. New enough, long enough, adequately referenced. I did a thorough copyedit on the article to bring it up to English grammar standards, but it is still confusing to me. The two brothers have nearly identical names, and I wonder if one is being named in the article when it should be the other? We have articles on Abdolmalek Rigi and Abdolhamid Rigi. Please check my editing.
  • As it currently stands, the article is top-heavy on plot and awards. The Production and Reception sections need to be expanded. The quote from the producer doesn't read like English. It's unclear why the Aftermath section even belongs in this article about a film. The image posted with this nomination doesn't appear in the article per WP:DYK#Images.
  • Regarding the hook, Wikipedia standard is to say "film" rather than "movie". I think that once you add a little more detail to the article, you will find material for a better hook. No QPQ needed for nominator with less than 5 DYK credits. Yoninah (talk) 13:43, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
  • you edited correctly and use the brother names at correct places.
  • I don't have any suitable sources for expanding The Production and Reception sections. The quote from the producer wasn't in the English language, a website translated the producer quote to English only. The only existing film aftermath was that incident which mentioned section. And I think you deleted the Article Image instead DYK Image.
  • Ok, ThanksForest90 (talk) 17:01, 20 March 2019 (UTC)
  • I'm resolving issues which expressed by the referee.Forest90 (talk) 14:36, 13 April 2019 (UTC)
  • Hi, in your recent edit you added mistakes in English grammar, which I corrected. There is still a tag in the first paragraph under Reception regarding which critic(s) said that. I still have a few questions:
    1. In the second paragraph under plot, you tell what became of Abdolmalek Rigi, but you don't say anything about what happened to Abdolhamid Rigi, who died the same year (2010). Does the movie discuss that?
    2. The Aftermath section doesn't belong in this article. The source ties them together, but I don't see the connection between a movie and this terror attack. I removed this section and replaced it with an Awards section.
    3. My original observation that the article is still mostly plot and awards still stands. Are you sure you can't add any more information about the production or reception from Iranian-language sources?
    4. I think you are making the Fajr International Film Festival and the 37th Fajr Film Festival two separate festivals, when they seem to be the same thing.
    5. I have restored the image to the article. Yoninah (talk) 19:00, 13 April 2019 (UTC)
    1. Hi Yoninah. thanks for helping me to improve my Article. I'm working in my mistake and will resolve them. I will work in the first paragraph under Reception regarding which critic(s) too.
    2. Abdolmalek Rigi was the terror group head and I will check about his brother, Abdolhamid, faith in movie.
    3. I will work about award section instead aftermath section which you deleted.
    4. I will resolve my mistake about the Fajr International Film Festival.
    5. Thanks for allow me keep the image.Forest90 (talk) 18:11, 14 April 2019 (UTC)
  • Hi Yoninah. I change the Article. Please read again the Article and if need any changes, say to me. And I'm sorry about changing some of your work which did in Article. I hope you accept my apologize.Forest90 (talk) 19:05, 15 April 2019 (UTC)
  • @Forest90: thank you for the changes. Before I check it, I'd like you to file a request for copy-editing at WP:GOCE. Each time I've edited the article, I've fixed it up so it reads like English. Now it doesn't read like English again. Yoninah (talk) 19:08, 15 April 2019 (UTC)
  • Hi Yoninah. It's along time that I sent my request review to WP:GOCE. How can I be sure that they had reviewed my Article?. If my request done, can I restart my DYK again?Forest90 (talk) 14:14, 27 April 2019 (UTC)
  • Forest90, you can look at WP:GOCER to check on the progress. Waiting times for a review average about 20 days, and it's been 12 days since you made your request for this article. At the moment, you are the 10th in line still waiting for a reviewer. This DYK nomination will wait for the GOCE request to be finished. You should get a note on your talk page from the reviewer when the request has been completed. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:07, 27 April 2019 (UTC)
  • Noting that the GOCE copyedit has been completed. Yoninah, where does this nomination stand now? Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 00:15, 5 May 2019 (UTC)
  • The copyedit has been done and it looks good. @Forest90: if you add anything more, please make sure it conforms with English grammar, so we can finish this nomination without further edits.
  1. I went through the article and added two "citation needed" tags. In the second paragraph under Plot, you write: Abdolmalek calls Faezeh's mother and Shahab Mansuri, and tells him to watch a video of his son's beheading on Al-Arabiya the following night. First of all, you said in the previous sentence that Shahab Mansuri had been beheaded. I assume you're referring here to Faezeh's and Shahab's mother and father, but I don't have access to the source. Also, if you're referring to both parents, the continuation of the sentence should read: and tells them to watch a video of their son's beheading. In the third paragraph under Reception, you say that Young attended the Fajr International Festival. This is not mentioned in the source given. Do you have another source for this information? Otherwise it should be deleted.
  2. When you quote something from a source, it should be the exact wording used in the source. I corrected the quoted text in The Hollywood Reporter review. As I am unable to access the Al-Monitor review, I would like you to confirm that you are using the exact wording for your quotes from that source.
  3. I removed the caption from the image box because it was inaccurate. Could you please identify the people in the picture, from left to right?
  4. When you are finished with these issues, we can discuss the hook. The hook you submitted is not "hooky". Here's an example of a hook:
ALT1: ... that an American film critic called the 2019 Iranian drama When the Moon Was Full, chronicling the marriage of a member of the Jundallah terrorist group and his murder of his wife, "chilling, operatic storytelling"? Yoninah (talk) 17:23, 5 May 2019 (UTC)
  • Hi Yoninah, thank you for following my DYK, How can I correct my last hook mistake that made?I see your example and my article reviewed by GOCE. I want to try my Article DYK and write a hook again. How and where I have to go for solve this problem.Forest90 (talk) 18:35, 5 May 2019 (UTC)
  • @Forest90: write your new hook suggestion(s) at the bottom of this thread, and label them ALT2, ALT3, etc. Yoninah (talk) 20:30, 5 May 2019 (UTC)
ALT2: Faezeh found herself among the Jundallah terrorist group and finally killed by his husband, Abdolhamid Rigi, when she was in sleep. It's the true sotory of Iranian drama film, When the Moon Was Full, which received Crystal Simorgh for best film in Fajr Film Festival 37th.[1][2]
ALT3:Narges Abyar awarded Crystal Simorgh in 37th Fajr Film Festival because the When the moon was full film that pay closely to relation inside a famous family of Jundallah terrorist group, Rigi's family.[3][4]
ALT4:Narges Abyar traveled to related areas to collect information about the Rigi ethnic group and Abdolmalek Rigi, leader of jundallah terrorist group, to make a drama film which named when the moon was full.ref>"Fajr festival movie recounts true love story of rebel Rigi". irannewsdaily.com. Iran News Daily. 5 February 2019. Retrieved 14 April 2019.</ref>
  • @Forest90: can we first finish up with the 3 points I listed above? Yoninah (talk) 01:27, 6 May 2019 (UTC)
  • @Forest90: and also the point about the double naming of the film festival. Yoninah (talk) 01:31, 6 May 2019 (UTC)
  • 3 point "you removed the Image caption" I corrected the caption as you wished, and also I corrected the double name Fajr International Film Festival in main Article.Forest90 (talk) 11:17, 6 May 2019 (UTC)
  • @Forest90: I didn't see where you "corrected the double name". See this edit where I got rid of the double name. I am still waiting for you to fix the sentence mentioned in point 1 above. Thank you for adding the source for The Hollywood Reporter critic being at the film festival. I fixed the image caption both in the article and on the Commons page. Yoninah (talk) 20:54, 6 May 2019 (UTC)
  • Hi Yoninah. 1) All name with fajr film festival inside the article changed to fajr international film festival and used a unique name for festival in whole article. 2)About point 1, and first about the In the second paragraph under Plot I corrected my mistake, Abdolmalek called Faezeh and Mansur's father according to film and citation. 3) About point 1, and second about the In the third paragraph under Reception..., I added a citation but it's language is Persian. Thank you very much my friend. You helped me so much.Forest90 (talk) 20:47, 7 May 2019 (UTC)
@Forest90: Thank you. Now we are ready to discuss the hook.
A hook should be just that: hooky. It should motivate the reader to click on the article link to read more. If you just state a fact or tell everything about the subject, the reader has no need to click on the article. Per DYK rules, the hook should begin with the word "that", end with a question mark, and be no more than 200 characters long, although shorter is preferred. Here are the hooks you suggested:
ALT0: ... that When the Moon Was Full is an Iranian movie which won the Crystal Simorgh for the best film at the Fajr film festival?
ALT2: Faezeh found herself among the Jundallah terrorist group and finally killed by his husband, Abdolhamid Rigi, when she was in sleep. It's the true sotory of Iranian drama film, When the Moon Was Full, which received Crystal Simorgh for best film in Fajr Film Festival 37th.
ALT3: Narges Abyar awarded Crystal Simorgh in 37th Fajr Film Festival because the When the moon was full film that pay closely to relation inside a famous family of Jundallah terrorist group, Rigi's family.
ALT4: Narges Abyar traveled to related areas to collect information about the Rigi ethnic group and Abdolmalek Rigi, leader of jundallah terrorist group, to make a drama film which named when the moon was full.
Looking at these hooks, ALT0 is the only one that's correctly formatted. But is the hook interesting? Plenty of films win awards. It would be best to focus on one detail that makes the film unique or surprising, and write a hook around that.
ALTs 2, 3, and 4 are saying too much and therefore will not catch the reader's interest. It's also not always necessary to state the name of the film, especially when the name has nothing to do with the plot, as in this case. In such a case, the link would be piped, like this: [[When the Moon Was Full|a 2019 Iranian film]].
If you don't like my ALT1 suggestion, and you would like me to help you fashion a hook, tell me one hook fact that you want to build the hook around. I'm sure we can write something sharp and punchy that will make readers want to read more.
Regarding the image you submitted, the colors look strange at thumbnail size. The image in the infobox is much clearer and better. But first let's write the hook and then see if it needs an image. Yoninah (talk) 21:18, 7 May 2019 (UTC)
  • I like your suggestion Yoninah. I'm not a newbi in Wikipedia but it's my first DYK. You have learned me a lot of things. I have wrote many Article and I will use your advise in my future DYK. But now, I'm agree with your ALT1 if you want, too. I hope my Article view will grow after the DYK published.Forest90 (talk) 21:49, 7 May 2019 (UTC)
Yoninah If you say this is the better one...I'm agree with you...ALT5 is ok.Forest90 (talk) 20:24, 8 May 2019 (UTC)
  • Thank you. Since I wrote it, I can't review it. Calling on another reviewer for ALT5. Yoninah (talk) 20:42, 8 May 2019 (UTC)
  • Just a drive-by comment: I would avoid drop "award-winning" as it's unnecessarily promotional for Main Page content and makes an already long (173-char) hook a little longer than required. – Teratix ₵ 02:55, 11 May 2019 (UTC)
  • OK, thanks.
  • ALT5a: ... that a 2019 Iranian drama tells the true story of Abdolhamid Rigi, a member of the Jundallah terrorist group who killed his wife on the orders of his brother? Yoninah (talk) 19:03, 11 May 2019 (UTC)
  • ALT5a should be good to go as it's cited inline and verified. Rest of the review per above. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 12:00, 18 May 2019 (UTC)

References

  1. ^ "Iran's Fajr Film Festival: 'The Night Moon Was Full' Rakes In Awards". tasnimnews.com. tasnimnews. 12 February 2019. Retrieved 27 February 2019.
  2. ^ Faghihi, Rohollah (21 February 2019). "True stories of terror stun critics at Iranian film festival". Al-Monitor. Retrieved 27 February 2019.
  3. ^ "Iran's Fajr Film Festival: 'The Night Moon Was Full' Rakes In Awards". tasnimnews.com. tasnimnews. 12 February 2019. Retrieved 27 February 2019.
  4. ^ Faghihi, Rohollah (21 February 2019). "True stories of terror stun critics at Iranian film festival". Al-Monitor. Retrieved 27 February 2019.
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