Template:Did you know nominations/War Cemetery in Kohima
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Allen3 talk 16:30, 9 March 2015 (UTC)
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War Cemetery in Kohima edit
... that in the 2nd Division's War Cemetery in Kohima (pictured) of the Second World War, the Kohima Epitaph reads, "When You Go Home, Tell Them of Us And Say, For Their Tomorrow, We Gave Our Today"?
- ALT1:
... that the War Cemetery in Kohima (pictured) has 1,420 Commonwealth burials of the Second World War, including 917 Hindus and Sikhs? - Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Marie-Luise Gilles
- ALT1:
Created by Nvvchar (talk). Self nominated at 01:43, 7 March 2015 (UTC).
Article is 5k+ chars, less than 2 days old. I'd go with ALT1 as it is more interesting and shorter. Sourced in refs 1, 2, 3. All in all, a green one from me. --Rsrikanth05 (talk) 22:41, 7 March 2015 (UTC)
The article could use some copyediting for English grammar. There is also the matter of this incomplete sentence at the end of the first paragraph under History: In this battle causalities from the commonwealth forces was – and to the Japanese division was -. Yoninah (talk) 02:06, 8 March 2015 (UTC)
- Deleted the sentence related to causalities as exact figures are not available. I have done some more copy editing.--Nvvchar. 04:01, 8 March 2015 (UTC)
- Thank you. I did some more copyediting and reference formatting. The article is new enough, long enough, neutrally written, well referenced, no close paraphrasing seen. Image is freely licensed. QPQ done.
- Regarding the hooks: The original hook is long, but it's very interesting. It could be shortened thus:
- ALT2:
... that the Kohima Epitaph in the 2nd Division's War Cemetery in Kohima (pictured) of the Second World War reads, "When you go home, Tell them of us and say, For their tomorrow, we gave our today"? - ALT1 is also a good hook, but it's slightly misleading. "Burials" sounds like graves, while the Hindus and Sikhs were cremated. Perhaps this hook could be revised as follows:
- ALT3: ... that the War Cemetery in Kohima (pictured) contains 1,420 Commonwealth burials of the Second World War, including the cremated remains of 917 Hindus and Sikhs? Yoninah (talk) 13:42, 8 March 2015 (UTC)
