... that the uniform of the Hong Kong contingent of the Submarine Mining Service was designed by future British Army Lieutenant-General George Macdonogh(pictured)?
ALT1: ... that in 1896 the Hong Kong Telegraph described the local detachment of the Submarine Mining Service as the only company of the British Army to wear a silk uniform? Source: "The Hong Kong Telegraph commented in 1896, 'Hongkongites have just reason to be proud of possessing the only company in the British Army clothed in silk, which distinction is enjoyed by the local Chinese Company of Sappers, their "full dress" being composed of that material ... . By emphasising the use of silk in the uniform of the Hong Kong submarine miners, the writer intentionally or unintentionally strengthened the hierarchy of races with the white men on top" from the same page as ALT0
Overall: 1. I prefer ALT1. 2. DAB Chatham, and inline Portsmouth and Plymouth. 3. Not clear what a mortar boat is, but we have no wp article on it. 4. "in later life" is ambiguous in the image caption - later than what? 5. I think it's fine that the newspaper was likely incorrect, as this is a hook and accurate as to what was written by the paper. 6. I'm partial to the Oxford comma, but not everyone is, so I've not touched that, though I have made some copyedits. 7. I gatjer that the hook is likely supported by the ref following the sentence with the quote in the article, but perhaps it is good form to place the ref at the end of that particular sentence as well, given that it is the hook sentence. 8. I can't do a copyvio check, as the sources are not freely publicly available, so - promoter tell me if the rule is otherwise, - I assume i have to accept that there is no copyvio on good faith. 2603:7000:2101:AA00:D997:A770:F85:5F4D (talk) 04:54, 9 August 2024 (UTC)
Thanks for the review and improvements to the article. I've made an edit to the article that I hope addresses all your comments, but let me know if any issues. I have linked gunboat for mortar boat, they would likely have been of the Arrow, Gleaner or Dapper class vessels but not sure which - Dumelow (talk) 07:57, 9 August 2024 (UTC)
1. I prefer ALT1. 2. DAB Chatham, and inline Portsmouth and Plymouth. 3. Not clear what a mortar boat is, but we have no wp article on it. 4. "in later life" is ambiguous in the image caption - later than what? 5. I think it's fine that the newspaper was likely incorrect, as this is a hook and accurate as to what was written by the paper. 6. I'm partial to the Oxford comma, but not everyone is, so I've not touched that, though I have made some copyedits. 7. I gatjer that the hook is likely supported by the ref following the sentence with the quote in the article, but perhaps it is good form to place the ref at the end of that particular sentence as well, given that it is the hook sentence. 8. I can't do a copyvio check, as the sources are not freely publicly available, so - promoter tell me if the rule is otherwise, - I assume i have to accept that there is no copyvio on good faith. 2603:7000:2101:AA00:D997:A770:F85:5F4D (talk) 04:54, 9 August 2024 (UTC)