- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 11:03, 10 January 2018 (UTC)
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Ramize Erer edit
... that the hell was going on when Ramize Erer published her cartoon of a masturbating girl?
Source: "German: Als sie ein junges Mädchen beim Masturbieren zeichnete, war die Empörung groß." [1], "German: Ich zeichnete als erste ein masturbierendes Mädchen. Da war die Hölle los." [2]
- Reviewed: Armanda Degli Abbati
Created by CeeGee (talk). Self-nominated at 11:18, 12 December 2017 (UTC).
Article is new enough, long enough, and within policy, although it needs copyediting. QPQ met. Hook is the right length, cited, and isn't negative. My only problem is that the hook isn't not quite idiomatic English, or an idiomatic translation of the German. "Da war die Hölle los" seems to mean more like "All hell broke loose". Maybe something like "when Ramize Erer published a cartoon of a masturbating girl, "all hell broke loose"?" would be better? (And edit the article accordingly). 04:09, December 20, 2017 Apocheir
- ALT1 ... that when Ramize Erer published a cartoon of a masturbating girl, "all hell broke loose"?
- I took the liberty of adding some quotation marks to ALT1 where it quotes her, but otherwise I'm OK with that hook. I've looked closer at the article, and I think it really needs to be copyedited before going on DYK. -Apocheir (talk) 03:35, 20 December 2017 (UTC)
- Apocheir & CeeGee, I've given the article a copyedit and added two {{clarification needed}} tags where I'm not sure what's being said. I also wonder a bit about the quotations—CeeGee, did you generally translate Turkish quotations into English? I didn't want to touch them, but a number of them have grammatical errors. Other than that, while the article could use more work (e.g., lots of sentences beginning with "She"), I think it's close to a DYK-appropriate level. --Usernameunique (talk) 12:47, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- @Usernameunique: Thank you very much for your copy-editing. I tried to clarify the two issues. Please recheck. I kindly ask you to modify the text for the many "she"s and the grammatical errors since I don't know at which extent it is fine and my English grammer knowledge aeems to be limited. CeeGee 13:36, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- CeeGee, one question. When you say "The background of her sharp-edged cartoons", do you mean the physical background (i.e., it looks as if her cartoons are set in a beauty parlor), or, instead, that the gossip in the beauty parlor inspires many of the topics of Erer's cartoons (or it could be both, I suppose)? --Usernameunique (talk) 14:27, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- @Usernameunique: I mean the gossip, however the physical background is not excluded. CeeGee 14:54, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- Got it, I've adjusted it accordingly. Clarification issues are now dealt with. --Usernameunique (talk) 15:02, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
Made a couple minor copyedits myself, but we're good now. -Apocheir (talk) 16:28, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
