Template:Did you know nominations/Peninah Musyimi

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk) 23:10, 12 March 2022 (UTC)

Peninah Musyimi

Peninah Musyimi's neighborhood
Peninah Musyimi's neighborhood

Created by Lajmmoore and Victuallers (talk). Self-nominated at 11:37, 22 February 2022 (UTC).

General: Article is new enough and long enough
Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems
Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation
Image: Image is freely licensed, used in the article, and clear at 100px.
QPQ: Done.

Overall: Article is new enough, long enogh, is well sourced and the hook is cited. The pic looks free to use to me, and clear. QPQ is done. My only concern is slightly about the tone - it reads a bit like a (fascinating) novel (at least to my ears). Would it be OK to tighten that up a bit? In particular the second paragraph. I also added a citation needed, as it wasn't clear to me where the info was from. It's great to see this biography though! Lajmmoore (talk) 22:33, 23 February 2022 (UTC)

@Lajmmoore: good catch. I hadnt removed the sensational tone enough - its better now, it now has the missing citation, an extra ref and if you think it needs a few more tweaks then do feel free to sharpen the tone further. Thank you. Victuallers (talk) 13:36, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
Thanks Victuallers - I've done another comb through, but I wonder if I've now got too involved in the article editing? Would Dumelow or another editor be able to check, and change the status? Many thanks Lajmmoore (talk) 12:31, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
Hi Victuallers, I made a few corrections to typos etc. The tone feels alright to me so giving a tick on the basis that the other checks have been carried out by Lajmmoore - Dumelow (talk) 13:04, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
Thanks very much Dumelow, all good Victuallers Lajmmoore (talk) 13:58, 25 February 2022 (UTC)