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Template:Did you know nominations/Narada sting operation

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:52, 7 June 2017 (UTC)

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Narada sting operation edit

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Created by Forceradical (talk). Self-nominated at 07:38, 27 May 2017 (UTC).

  • Comment: Per the article history, this page seems rather unstable. Yoninah (talk) 09:49, 28 May 2017 (UTC)
Yoninah It would be appreciated if you could be a bit more specific.I see no edit wars going on a ,slight problem regarding the merging the article was resolved in the Talk page and is currently stale by more than 7 days.The removal of names of politicians is a part of my laPSE .I forgot to remove it after the AFC review.⭐FORCE RADICAL⭐ @ 10:03, 28 May 2017 (UTC)
OK. I'll look into this more and do a review later today. Yoninah (talk) 10:04, 28 May 2017 (UTC)
  • This page was created on May 4 and nominated on May 27 by a new DYK nominator. I will IAR and accept it despite the 3-week time lag. Long enough, neutrally written, well referenced. No QPQ needed for first-time nominator. However, there are several outstanding issues which must be addressed before this can proceed to the main page:
  • Writing style: The article is written in newspaper fashion, with short, one-line/one-paragraph updates of each stage of the fallout and investigation. IMO it needs to be fleshed out and rewritten as an encyclopedic piece, with a proper lead summarizing the subject. (This means adding more to the lead about the aftermath/fallout/investigations.) Even if the investigations are ongoing, this should not look like a work in progress. You should add some explanation of why the sting was conducted by the newspaper. There are also too many subsections and sub-subsections here; please combine the information in longer paragraphs and fewer sub-sections.
  • Abbreviations: I spelled out some of the abbreviations for political parties, but there are other abbreviations (PIL, FIR) that I have no idea what they mean. In fact, the lines in which these abbreviations appear are lifted straight from the titles of the source articles, a violation of WP:COPYVIO:
  • Source: 3 PIL filed in Calcutta High Court, ED to begin probe
  • Article: three PILs from the Indian Congress party and BJP were filed in Calcutta High Court
  • Source: "CBI files FIR against 12 Trinamool leaders for 'criminal conspiracy'
  • Article: CBI filed a FIR against 12 Trinamool leaders for "criminal conspiracy".
  • Source: "State took action against SMH Meerza"
  • Article: the state initiated disciplinary proceedings against SMH Meerza
  • Citations: I added numerous tags to the article asking for clarification of who or what is being talked about.
  • Hook: The suggested hook is factual, not hooky. Perhaps there is an unusual or surprising aspect in the article that you can fashion a hook around?
  • Yoninah (talk) 13:40, 28 May 2017 (UTC)
  • @Forceradical: thank you for the expansion. However, the additions need a copyedit for English grammar and spelling. Also, the first part of this sentence doesn't make sense: A adhaar card in the name of Santhosh Shankaran was issued, a receptionist was hired to take phone calls from a phone number listed in a specially created webpage.
  • Did a newspaper really run a sting operation in order to boost its sales? That would make a better hook than the ones above. Yoninah (talk) 13:20, 2 June 2017 (UTC)
  • @Yoninah:I have done the expansion of narada sting operation.The copyvio problems are insolvable. (I cannot think of any other way of saying them). Earwig Detector doesn't seem o complain also.The hook is all that remains to be done.I have made the above alts please have a lookFORCE RADICAL (talk) 09:20, 5 June 2017 (UTC)
  • Thank you for cleaning up the writing style and the close paraphrasing. ALT2 looks good, but the source for this fact just states that Samuel was looking for "a good story, a bang". Does this correspond to "increased sales and popularity"? Do you have another source that would verify the "increases sales and popularity" fact? Yoninah (talk) 15:28, 5 June 2017 (UTC)
  • I couldnt find a Newspaper referring to "increasing sales and popularity" apperantly that question is not very popular with our media houses.Most newspapers come tantalizingly close but do not mention anything about that part.Instead I have framed another hook?If you can please also try.
  • Ooh, that's a good hook. I suggest writing it this way for more effect:
  • ALT4a: ... that the journalist behind the Narada sting operation was inspired by Israeli Mossad officer Mike Harari?
  • I changed the ALT2 hook fact in the article so it aligns with the source. ALT4a hook ref verified and cited inline. Good to go. Yoninah (talk) 15:39, 6 June 2017 (UTC)
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