Template:Did you know nominations/Fred Hayman

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Skr15081997 (talk) 13:14, 7 July 2014 (UTC)

Fred Hayman

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• ... that Fred Hayman was a trainee dentist, a chef, and manager of the Beverly Hilton before becoming "Mr. Beverly Hills"?

• Reviewed: Diane Guerrero

Created by Edwardx (talk). Self nominated at 22:41, 11 June 2014 (UTC).

• Length, date, hook checks out. QPQ, inline citations. good 2 go.--BabbaQ (talk) 14:45, 21 June 2014 (UTC)

• I have trouble finding the ref for the "dentist" part of the hook. Please add a footnote in the article. Thanks. --PFHLai (talk) 12:27, 22 June 2014 (UTC)

• Thank you PFHLai. If you click on the photograph in the bottom left hand corner, the text reads, "In late summer 1943, 18-year-old Fred Hayman interrupted his career in the kitchen at the Waldorf-Astoria in New York City for the Navy. He remained stateside as a dentist-in-training until Spring 1946, and then decamped for Paris and Mexico City on the G.I. Bill before returning to the halls of the great hotel he loved." So, it looks like he was a trainee dentist for up to nearly three years, but may never have formally practised as a dentist. Would you like me to change the hook to "dentist-in-training", "trainee dentist", or something else? Edwardx (talk) 16:37, 24 June 2014 (UTC)

How about this:

• ALT1: ... that after years of training to become a dentist, Fred Hayman became a chef, and manager of the Beverly Hilton, and subsequently "Mr Beverly Hills"?

Please also fix the article. Thanks. --PFHLai (talk) 01:42, 25 June 2014 (UTC)

I've added "trainee" to the hook, thus "trainee dentist", and adjusted the article accordingly. Edwardx (talk) 21:02, 25 June 2014 (UTC)

For ATL1, I would suggest adding a wikilink at the end, "Mr Beverly Hills".Zigzig20s (talk) 08:52, 25 June 2014 (UTC)

Thanks, but Beverly Hills is a well-known location, and it wouldn't make the hook any better. Edwardx (talk) 21:02, 25 June 2014 (UTC)

There are several other places known as Beverly Hills (see Beverly Hills (disambiguation)) and it would lead people to the right place, so I believe it would indeed improve the hook. (It is well-known in the West; may be a bit obscure to someone looking at Wikipedia from Africa for example.)Zigzig20s (talk) 03:38, 26 June 2014 (UTC)

The 'trainee' thing is no longer an issue. Review per BabbaQ. The link to BH is a minor issue; may be +/- on prep. --PFHLai (talk) 01:08, 29 June 2014 (UTC)

• Please add cites to the hook facts in the article. Thanks, Yoninah (talk) 23:22, 30 June 2014 (UTC)

Cite for Beverly Hilton added immediately afterwards, not just at end of the paragraph. Others already cited. Edwardx (talk) 10:01, 7 July 2014 (UTC)

• Thanks. Hook refs verified and cited inline. Good to go. Yoninah (talk) 12:56, 7 July 2014 (UTC)