Template:Did you know nominations/Fionn McLoughlin
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:08, 10 June 2017 (UTC)
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Fionn McLoughlin edit
- ... that rugby player Fionn McLoughlin represented both Ireland and Wales in youth internationals?
- Reviewed: Puddletown
Created by The C of E (talk). Self-nominated at 08:40, 19 May 2017 (UTC).
New enough and long enough. It's a bit unclear how He has represented both Ireland and Wales at youth level. He plays centre, winger and fly half.
is sourced as I can't find any of the information in the sources. Infobox needs sourcing. http://www.rctednet.net/newmanrc/web_2000/pupils/post%2016/sport/sport04.htm isn't working. Where is it said that poor opportunities at Pontypridd motivated the change to Bedwas? "where he was signed permanently" does not seem to be supported by the source. Same for "he helped them to a second successive promotion", a yellow card seems more like a hindrance to me? "Ireland Club XV against England Counties XV" also needs some specification. No evidence of copyvio or plagiarism. Hook itself is reliably sourced and moderately interesting. The QPQ was accompanied by a source review/spotcheck? Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 17:31, 21 May 2017 (UTC)
- @Jo-Jo Eumerus: I have made alterations for the positions. Infobox is sourced, archived url found. Ponty source corrected. Helped to promotion is a form of stating that he played in the play-off game. Club XV is essentially international matches for amateur players. The C of E God Save the Queen! (talk) 21:38, 21 May 2017 (UTC)
- Centre and fly half seem to be unclear still. Ditto for "signed permanently". Regarding "he helped them to a second successive promotion", problem is that a yellow card still seems to signify a hindrance. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 22:44, 21 May 2017 (UTC)
- @Jo-Jo Eumerus: I have moved the refs for centre and fly half and rewritten the promotion line. As for the signed perminantly there, if you look at the sentence you'll note the source used for him going on trial earlier in the sentence, the source for the permanent move is of the same year and shows him playing as a normal signed player in league matches. In essence, trialists can't play in competitive matches without being signed (plus why would a trial last that long?). The C of E God Save the Queen! (talk) 06:22, 22 May 2017 (UTC)
- Getting closer. Perhaps the part that sources "centre" should be quoted in the citation as I don't see it. Regarding "where he played a part it them achieving a second successive promotion", I'd probably write "which achieved a second successive promotion while he was a member of it" or somesuch. Corrected McCloughlin to McLoughlin under the assumption that it's a typo. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 19:47, 22 May 2017 (UTC)
- @Jo-Jo Eumerus: I have moved the refs for centre and fly half and rewritten the promotion line. As for the signed perminantly there, if you look at the sentence you'll note the source used for him going on trial earlier in the sentence, the source for the permanent move is of the same year and shows him playing as a normal signed player in league matches. In essence, trialists can't play in competitive matches without being signed (plus why would a trial last that long?). The C of E God Save the Queen! (talk) 06:22, 22 May 2017 (UTC)
- @Jo-Jo Eumerus: I have changed the source for the centre. But I do still feel that the sentence should stay as it is as your proposed sentence doesn't really flow that well; plus to say while he was a member sort of implies that he was a reserve rather than a starting player in the playoff. The C of E God Save the Queen! (talk) 21:28, 22 May 2017 (UTC)
- Well, there is still the problem that getting a yellow card during a game seems more of a source of problems, but the article text makes it seem like his play there was a positive thing. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 22:23, 22 May 2017 (UTC)
- @Jo-Jo Eumerus: If you read the source, the yellow card was towards the end of the game in extra time and had no material effect on the result so didn't have as bad of an impact as you seem to think it did. The C of E God Save the Queen! (talk) 22:50, 22 May 2017 (UTC)
tepidly. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 14:59, 23 May 2017 (UTC)
- Why the comma before his name? PaleCloudedWhite (talk) 22:32, 26 May 2017 (UTC)
- No reason I can think of, really. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 09:25, 27 May 2017 (UTC)
- @Jo-Jo Eumerus: I have changed the source for the centre. But I do still feel that the sentence should stay as it is as your proposed sentence doesn't really flow that well; plus to say while he was a member sort of implies that he was a reserve rather than a starting player in the playoff. The C of E God Save the Queen! (talk) 21:28, 22 May 2017 (UTC)
- @Jo-Jo Eumerus: I have made alterations for the positions. Infobox is sourced, archived url found. Ponty source corrected. Helped to promotion is a form of stating that he played in the play-off game. Club XV is essentially international matches for amateur players. The C of E God Save the Queen! (talk) 21:38, 21 May 2017 (UTC)
