Template:Did you know nominations/Death of Lucas Leonard

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:49, 17 November 2015 (UTC)

Death of Lucas Leonard edit

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... that the Chadwicks, New York church at which a young man was beaten to death in 2015 was described by its neighbors as a "cult" where people "used to build fires on the roofs, and there was chanting and weird rituals"?

Created by FiredanceThroughTheNight (talk). Self-nominated at 00:07, 22 October 2015 (UTC).

New enough, long enough, neutrally written, well referenced, no close paraphrasing seen. No QPQ needed for first-time nominator. However, the hook is overlong; the limit is 200 characters, and preferably less. Can you suggest a shorter, hooky fact? Yoninah (talk) 23:42, 11 November 2015 (UTC)

How about ALT1: ~~"... that the Chadwicks, New York church at which a young man was beaten to death in 2015 operated a website that sold pedigree yorkies"?~~

The connection isn't really clear. How about shortening the original hook:
ALT2: ... that the church at which a young man was beaten to death was described by its neighbors as a "cult" where people "used to build fires on the roofs, and there was chanting and weird rituals"? Yoninah (talk) 02:13, 12 November 2015 (UTC)

Your suggestion sounds good. FiredanceThroughTheNight (talk) 02:35, 12 November 2015 (UTC)

Thanks. ALT2 hook ref verified and cited inline. ALT2 good to go. Yoninah (talk) 11:37, 12 November 2015 (UTC)