- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:26, 3 September 2017 (UTC)
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Bipin Ganatra edit
... that Bipin Ganatra has won India's fourth highest civilian award?Source:[sources]
- Comment: QPQ technically not need but will do it within a few hours
Created by Forceradical (talk). Self-nominated at 06:21, 2 August 2017 (UTC).
This article is just long enough (I counted just over 1,600 characters in the prose using this tool), new enough (as of the time it was nominated it had just been created), and well-sourced for its size and notability. I think that the article itself should note that the Padma Shri is the fourth highest civilian award, and could be expanded a bit to discuss the circumstances surrounding Ganatra receiving the award. More importantly, I think the hook needs some revision. First, "won" seems like problematic wording, since it suggests he was trying or competing to receive the honor when in fact he was awarded the honor for doing something ordinary yet heroic. The hook also neglects to tell the reader anything interesting about why Ganatra received the honor, when it would be very easy to do so. I would suggest this alternate hook:
ALT1: ... that volunteer firefighter Bipin Ganatra was awarded India's fourth highest civilian award, the Padma Shri?
- Let me know what you think. @Forceradical: —BLZ · talk 20:07, 26 August 2017 (UTC)
- ALT2: ... that Bipin Ganatra, an electrician by trade, has voluntarily helped Kolkata firefighters battle more than 100 fires over the past 40 years? Yoninah (talk) 20:20, 26 August 2017 (UTC)
ALT3: ... that Kolkata resident Bipin Ganatra constantly monitors the television news and runs to assist firefighters whenever a blaze breaks out?Yoninah (talk) 20:23, 26 August 2017 (UTC)
- @Brandt Luke Zorn:I'll go with alt2 or 3 which are immensely better than mine or yours.....I'll do the expansion and QPQ within this week.RADICAL SODA(FORCE) 09:49, 27 August 2017 (UTC)
- @Forceradical: @Yoninah: I agree, I think ALT2 is a great hook. ALT3 is fine as well, but I think ALT2 captures what really makes this man interesting and noteworthy. —BLZ · talk 19:47, 27 August 2017 (UTC)
Approving ALT2, which is sourced and interesting. --Usernameunique (talk) 18:55, 1 September 2017 (UTC)
- @Forceradical: @Yoninah: I agree, I think ALT2 is a great hook. ALT3 is fine as well, but I think ALT2 captures what really makes this man interesting and noteworthy. —BLZ · talk 19:47, 27 August 2017 (UTC)
