Template:Did you know nominations/Better (Kim Hyung-jun song)

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Victuallers (talk) 21:41, 26 July 2015 (UTC)

Better (Kim Hyung-jun song) edit

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~~... that Kim Hyung Jun's personal car was used in "Better" music video just so the shooting will advance?~~

Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Record Without a Cover

Created by 001Jrm (talk). Self-nominated at 06:16, 8 May 2015 (UTC).

The article is sufficiently long, and was submitted for the nomination within the given time frame. The hook is interesting, clear, straight to the point and well within the 200-character limit. A simple Google translation of the source (Reference no. 22) appears to confirm the fact. It appears the nominator has also done his QPQ too. This article is good to go. — SyFuel ^Ignite _Burned 15:37, 7 June 2015 (UTC)

I just took a look at the article, and it has some prose and grammar issues. I suggest an outside copyeditor, given that other recent articles have had prose and grammar problems as well. There's also a tense issue with the proposed hook, and it shouldn't have been passed in that condition. BlueMoonset (talk) 06:47, 11 June 2015 (UTC)

Oh, uhhmm,, would this do?

ALT1: ~~... that Kim Hyung Jun's personal car was used in the music video for his single "Better" just so the shooting would advance?~~

Thanks! 001Jrm (talk) 21:25, 19 June 2015 (UTC)

ALT2: ... that Kim Hyung-jun used his own car in the music video for his 2014 single "Better"?

001Jrm, the best I could do with the Japanese source was Google Translate, and "just so the shooting would advance" (which is not the best English) doesn't seem to be sufficiently supported there—they needed a car and suggested they use his, but there's not a sense in the translation that the filming would be delayed if they had to use some other car, so I'm proposing ALT2 instead. Also, it's been weeks and no work has been done on a copyedit: have you requested one from the Guild of Copy Editors (WP:GOCE) yet, or found someone else to do it? You need to take action on this. BlueMoonset (talk) 16:15, 6 July 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the alt. I believe it'll take a long time for my request (on GOCE's page) to be accepted due to its backlog, so I just added a copyedit tag in the article instead. Let me know if I needed to do something else. Thank you! 001Jrm (talk) 08:56, 7 July 2015 (UTC)

Actually, 001Jrm, I think you have it backwards. GOCE has periodic drives to take care of the old copyedit tags like the one you just added: they're currently working on January through March 2014. (There are well over 2000 total tags at the moment.) They try to handle the specific requests on their page while they are still "current" (within a month or six weeks, and sometimes much shorter); if you mention in your request that you have an active DYK that requires a copyedit, you'll likely be looked at sooner rather than later. No reason not to have both tag and request, but I wouldn't have suggested GOCE if I didn't think it was your best bet. BlueMoonset (talk) 13:51, 7 July 2015 (UTC)

I already sent a request there. Sorry for that, and thank you for your time updating this. :) 001Jrm (talk) 21:32, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

I copyedited the article. One thing that's glaringly missing from the article is what the song is about. This should be put under "Description". It is also completely unclear what the music video is about. What's written in the first paragraph under "Music video" sounds asinine. Or maybe that's what K-pop is all about? In the second paragraph under "Music video", I don't understand what an "isolated red" is. An "isolated red background"? Paragraphs 3, 4, and 5 under "Music video" faithfully describe the action, but don't say anything about the storyline. It would be better to trim all this description to one paragraph and mention what the storyline is. Yoninah (talk) 18:58, 23 July 2015 (UTC)

1.All contents in the article were created based on the sources that I found. Since I didn't find a source that talks what the song is about, I didn't add it... or should I add something and use the lyrics as an offline source? (but it would likely be my interpretation of the song.. or not?)

2.Again, I don't have any source that would (explicitly) talk what the storyline is about. Thus, I described the music video. Anyway, I added a phrase which touches its theme a bit, though I wouldn't want to include Allkpop as a source as much as possible. Oh well... if you think it's better, then I'll leave it there. I also added a plot. NOTE: It's just my interpretation of the video, so I added words like "not clear" or such. (Did I succeed? or is it too long again? Unnecessary?)

3.I don't know the word to describe that style (eg screenshot of the music video). sorry. Black and red?

4.I'm actually having a hard time trimming down these paragraphs. I feel like each sentence is important. (Same with the other articles that I have written. It's because I add most, if not all, issues talked about on the sources to the article. And yes, just like what you said in my other DYK nomination, I should start differentiating what should be or should not be included in Wikipedia. Believe me, I'm trying my best to change this bad habit of mine.) I tried to make the music video description into one paragraph. If you think that it's still too long, please let me know.001Jrm (talk) 06:47, 25 July 2015 (UTC)

@001Jrm: when you write an encyclopedic article, it should be "just the facts". Locating a bunch of sources and writing whatever they say is not the same thing. And if you have nothing to say, don't say anything. I deleted most of your interpretation of the music video. I looked at the video and fixed the part about the red tinting. Google Translate is not translating the Korean sources for me, so the storyline of the song will just have to remain unmentioned.
Let's go with the ALT2 hook fact for brevity. I added the year to the hook. Full review: New enough, long enough, neutrally written, well referenced. As most sources are in Korean, AGF on sources, including the ALT2 hook fact, which is cited inline. QPQ done. ALT2 good to go. Yoninah (talk) 21:04, 26 July 2015 (UTC)