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Template:Did you know nominations/Baseball cheering culture in South Korea

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 20:17, 18 January 2018 (UTC)

DYK toolbox

Baseball cheering culture in South Korea edit

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Created by Louise Kang (talk). Self-nominated at 05:48, 11 December 2017 (UTC).

  • The article was moved from a sandbox to the mainspace and is long enough. It has numerous references, although I'll have to assume good faith on them because they are all in Korean. However, the page is tagged for an unencyclopedic tone, and I agree with the user who tagged it. There are many places where the writing is not yet encyclopedic, and many grammar glitches exist in the prose. For example, one sentence in Cheering Zones says, "The seat consists of seat for four and six people and it enables family audiences to seat at the table and comfortably watch the game." The whole article needs a thorough copy-edit by a native English speaker. While on an interesting subject, I don't think this is in condition to be placed on the Main Page. Giants2008 (Talk) 01:27, 12 December 2017 (UTC)
  • @Giants2008: I think we are too picky here. I don't see any serious grammar or tone issues here. It is not up to FA prose standards, but I think it is well within DYK ones. If you disagree, please point out more examples - the one you did point out has been fixed, so it if we can pinpoint more, the author(s) may fix them as well. --Hanyangprofessor2 (talk) 06:16, 12 December 2017 (UTC)
  • Unfortunately, I don't think I'm being overly picky. If there were only a few minor tweaks to do here and there, I'd make the fixes myself so as to not hold this up. However, I'm seeing issues in most of the sentences I'm looking at. Here are some (not all) examples of what I'm talking about, from early in the article:
  • Fight Songs: "The fight song is a key element of the Korea's baseball cheering culture." Should be either "of Korea's" or "of the Korean", but not the current wording.
  • "The melody of the fight songs is from the famous pop song or the K-pop song...". Since there a plural "songs" at the start, this should be "from famous pop songs or K-pop songs".
  • "There is also an mobile application...". "an mobile application" → "a mobile application".
  • "Cheering Tools: "In the early days of baseball professional league". I'd imagine this was intended as "In the early days of Korea's professional baseball league".
  • Are the tools later in this sentence, along with Balloon Stick, meant to be capitalized? I don't think they should be, but could be wrong.
  • "They were the first in the world to use balloon stick as a cheering tool." Needs "a" before "balloon stick".
  • "They wear this to feel a sense of belonging, solidarity, and proud." "proud" → "pride".
  • "Symbolic accessories and cheering tools play the similar role." "the" → "a".
  • Cheer Leaders: "there wasn't a standardized cheering method for a while." The contraction "wasn't" should be the longer "was not", and "for a while" is vague. Is it possible to give a more specific time period?
  • "and the ways of cheering was the clapping and instant singing." "was" should be "were", since the ways it refers to is a plural element. Giants2008 (Talk) 02:50, 13 December 2017 (UTC)
  • I'll second that we're not talking about WP:GA status but simple competency here. Even the hook isn't using proper grammar [fixed]. Thank you for having your students practice by adding things to Wikipedia, but you either need to bring the quality review up or start them off with shorter sentences and easier vocab over at Simple Wikipedia. It needs work on articles they'll be more interested in, anyway. — LlywelynII 11:40, 14 December 2017 (UTC)
  • I do appreciate the reviews, and hopefully the students will fix them in the next few days. If not, well. Btw, let's not suggest that people waste their time editing simple wiki - nobody uses that site, so anyone contributing them is wasting their time (plus, it can be more difficult to write good simple sentences then usual English). It's a digression, but frankly, the defunct Klignon Wikipedia is more useful then the Simple one :P --Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus| reply here 07:56, 18 December 2017 (UTC)
  • COMMENT: Cleaned up some of the English, hoping without changing intent of the original. David notMD (talk) 17:08, 19 December 2017 (UTC)
  • It appears that cleanup work is still is progress, but the first half of the article looks better (I haven't read much of the second half yet). Let me know when this is done and I'll have another look. Giants2008 (Talk) 00:29, 20 December 2017 (UTC)
  • I did a bit more revision. Do not intend to do any more beyond that. I suggest looking at all of it, and if still needs work, bring to attention of the person who submitted it. BTW, is the hook that balloon sticks were first made in Korea or first used in Korea? David notMD (talk) 02:31, 20 December 2017 (UTC)
  • Thanks for your editing. The balloon sticks were invented by Kim Cheol Ho, who is the CEO of the company named Balloon Stick Korea in 1994, and LG twins used them for the first time in the world. That is what all news articles in Korea are saying. Thanks again for editing. I am not good at writing in English but I can surely tell that it looks much better now. Louise Kang (talk) 16:32, 21 December 2017 (UTC)
  • I just did a little more copy-editing, but still feel that the article needs more work. When I see something like "fallen into slumps of cheering since 2009", I simply don't have enough knowledge of the subject to feel confident about fixing it. As for the hook, it says the sticks were first made in Korea, while the article says they were first used there. Both are most likely true, but the article needs to fully support what the hook says, which isn't the case right now. Giants2008 (Talk) 17:39, 21 December 2017 (UTC)
How about:
  • That might be better, I think.Louise Kang (talk) 06:29, 22 December 2017 (UTC)
  • I just made several more copy-edits in the latter half of the article, and thanks to David's work it's definitely improved from when I first saw it. Given that I've now made five edits to the article, it's probably best for another reviewer to take over at this point. Giants2008 (Talk) 03:31, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
  • :REVIEW COMPLETED - The following review was completed by Esemono
Article moved from User:Louise Kang/sandbox on December 11, 2017 12023 characters (2044 words) "readable prose size"
NPOV
ALT1 Hook is interesting, short enough and sourced with Refs 7 [1]
Every paragraph sourced
Earwig @ Toolserver Copyvio Detector found no copyvio
GTG -- Esemono (talk) 07:39, 28 December 2017 (UTC)
  • Hi, I came by to promote this, and did some light editing on it, but am unable to understand the second paragraph under "Crisis". It seems run-on and needs editing for English grammar. Also, there are two paragraphs that lack any citations, per Rule D2. Yoninah (talk) 22:03, 15 January 2018 (UTC)
  • @Yoninah: I think I have dealt with the issues you raised. -- Esemono (talk) 04:49, 17 January 2018 (UTC)
  • Thank you, that's much better. Restoring tick per Esemono's review. Yoninah (talk) 22:56, 17 January 2018 (UTC)
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